Jennica's Story
by Angry Warrior
Summary: A continuation of Life Circles
1. Chapter 1

Jennica's Story

1\. Rough Beginnings

J/C

Rated MA

June 2009

By: AW

Length: 3,491 words

Summary: Episode addition to 'Night, and SURPRISE.

Disclaimer: blah blah blah, I DON'T OWN THEM

Jennica walked into the astrometrics lab having just finished talking with the Captain in her quarters about life, why she had left her and given her up all those years ago.

She saw Tuvok sitting in the Astrometrics lab meditating, something she didn't understand but she knew that for the Vulcan it produced solace and stability.

"Commander. Am I disturbing you."

"No."

Jennica stared at the command officer, "Is the Astrometrics lab designated for recreational use?"

"I come here to meditate. Needless to say, the view from my quarters has been less than stellar lately."

Seven realized that Tuvok was one of her mother's closest friends and perhaps he could give her some insight into the way her mother's mind works.

"Commander, may I ask you a question?"

The Vulcan nodded encouraging her to continue and ask her question. "Did my mother really give me up for the better? Or was it because she didn't want me?"

The Vulcan gathered his thoughts, "The Captain holds deep feelings for you, and from what she has told me over the years: She wanted nothing for you but the best upbringing possible and she felt she was unable to give that to you at that time in her life."

Jennica nodded, "Thank you Commander, I appreciate your candour."

[Same time - Janeway's quarters]

Chakotay walked into the turbolift and rode down into their quarters. The children were in the nursery with the Paris children and Naomi Wildman.

Tal Celes was due to deliver not long after Kathryn, and thanks to Bajoran genetics the crew had just discovered about two months ago that she and Billy Telfer were going to be parents.

The Voyager family was indeed growing at an astronomical rate.

Kathryn had been relieved of duty a month ago, and Chaktoay was glad that she had taken it in stride, or at least he had thought so until two weeks ago when they had entered the void, and she had fallen into a deep depression.

Without ship's business to occupy her mind, and with the impending birth of their child as the only thing to keep her mind distracted, he barely saw her.

They had finally gotten some news to share with her, Tuvok and Seven had discovered some 'theta radiation' and he thought it might be something that she would be interested in hearing about.

He hoped so anyway; he got to her quarters and rang the chime. He heard a disjointed 'Come' from inside and entered.

He handed a padd to her and stated, "It's probably nothing. Just background theta radiation. But it could mean there's someone nearby." He stared at her and really noticed her protruding belly, and the fact that it appeared that the baby had dropped low.

He had wanted the doctor to induce her because she was now a week late, and he had rejected saying the child would come when it came.

She blankly stared at her husband, "Distance?"

"Approximately twenty five light years."

Her hand went to her belly feeling the baby move, and then her mind went back to ship's business. "It's a long shot, but alter course."

"Yes, ma'am."

She glared at him, "I'm your wife too."

"Who has been ignoring me and her children for the last couple of weeks; I don't understand you Kathryn I've tried to do everything to make your life easier and the birth of this child easier on you but you ignore me."

She sighed, "If that's all, Commander."

He looked at her, trying to think of the best way to get to her. "Actually, I'd like to make a request. I've been saving up my holodeck rations and I've got three full hours coming. Any chance I can invite you to a moonlit stroll and possibly a boat ride in Saint George? It will help clear your mind and relax you."

"My mind is perfectly clear."

"And what if I told you I'm not leaving until you join me? I want to make sure you're okay Kathryn," He approached her and put his hands on her belly,

"You and my son."

She smiled at his attempt to force into a state of ease, but her mind wouldn't let her. "Then I'd say, have a seat, it'll be a while."

"Then I'll be blunt. You've picked a bad time to isolate yourself from the crew. This ship needs a Captain, especially now."

Kathryn stood up and lashed out at him, "The doctor has confined me to quarters, and I can't take care of the ship or crew at the moment anyway; I don't need you to try and dictate my duties to me."

"It started when we entered this, what does the crew call it?"

"The Void."

"Charming. Oh, what I wouldn't give for a few Borg cubes about now. Anything for a little distraction aside from this baby." She placed her hands on her abdomen. "No time to stop and think about how we got stranded in the Delta quadrant. How did we end up here, Chakotay? Answer me."

"Kathryn if we'd never gotten stuck here we wouldn't have found each other again, and we wouldn't have two daughters to complete our lives, or the one you're carrying." He paused unsure if he should delve into it, "And you wouldn't have found Jennica."

Kathryn got a frustrated look on her face at her husband ignoring her question. "You still haven't answered my question; how did we end up stranded in the Delta Quadrant?"

He sighed and answered her question as best he could. "We were faced with a difficult choice. We had the means to get home but using it would've put an innocent people at risk, so we decided to stay."

"No, no, no. I decided to stay. I made that choice for everyone." She walked up to him forcing him to look into her eyes, blank with hatred for herself and what she had put the crew through.

"Kathryn, you can't possibly still blame yourself for this."

"I messed everything up, I messed our lives up, I want that life in the Alpha Quadrant back."

Chakotay paused and stared at her, trying to get her to open up to him, to divulge her reasons and her secrets. "You know I love you Kathryn and so does this crew; they would back you up with anything. They'll live with and deal with all the decision you've made through the years: They always have and they always will."

"That may be so but their trust and their love is misplaced. I don't deserve any of it."

Chakotay stared at her once again and left their quarters to head for the Astrometrics Bay where he had a feeling that much of Kathryn's self-hate and self-blame were coming from.

[Astormetrics Lab – 2 hours later]

Jennica stared at the astrometrics scan of the space ahead: there was nothing. She was not sure if she could live out her life on this ship, with her parents who refused to give her the time of day and the rest of the crew who resented her for all the things that her people had done to them and their families over the years and decades.

She sighed as she heard the doors to the astrometrics lab open and spun around to see her Commander and her mother's would-be saviour come through the doors. "Commander."

He looked at his step-daughter, "Just Chakotay Jennica."

"Seven, I am Seven of Nine."

"I need to speak to Jennica, not a Borg Drone."

Seven glared at him, "What do you wish talk to me about," she hesitated, "Chakotay."

Chakotay smiled that Jennica had finally accepted him as more than his rank, he hoped so anyway. "Kathryn is really hurting over the situation that she gave you away all those years ago and I need you to assure her that it was not the wrong decision."

Seven walked up to him and just about spat, "If Captain Janeway had not given me to Owen Paris to be raised, I would not have been assimilated by the Borg and my life would have turned out better."

"You can't possibly blame Kathryn for that."

"She came onto this ship, found you and created a new life for herself. She didn't need me and she doesn't need me now. So if you'll not bring this up again I'd appreciate it Commander."

Chakotay walked out of the astrometrics lab and went to the bridge.

[Bridge]

Chakotay walked onto the empty bridge. Most of the officers had been given time off because of the empty void of space into which they'd been deposited.

He saw Kim sitting in the Command chair with his clarinet in hand. He spun around when Chakotay entered the bridge clearly not expecting the commander to make an appearance.

"Sir."

Chakotay smiled at the youthful optimism of being in charge of the bridge. "Relax, Harry; anything to report?"

"Not even a stray electron. But I did finish writing my concerto. I call it 'Echoes of the Void.' Got a minute?"

"Too many I'm having trouble getting Kathryn to talk to me about anything and Jennica just about spit fire at me."

"Jennica?"

"That's our new Borg Drone's name. She's Kathryn and Tom's daughter."

Harry looked up at Chakotay surprised, "I'm sorry I didn't realize that Sir, I thought that Tom was just on edge the last little while because he and B'Elanna were expecting their second daughter."

"Well I'm sure that had something to do with it, but I'm also sure that wasn't the only reason."

Kim got defensive, "Tom is my best friend why wouldn't he tell me something like this?"

"I'm sure it has nothing to do with that Harry, I just think that Jennica is a very private and very touchy subject right now."

Harry bowed his head in embarrassment, "I'm sure he'll tell me when he needs a shoulder to cry on or someone to listen to his woes."

Chakotay smiled, "I'm sure you're right Harry. Now let's hear this concerto that you've been working on."

He got ready to wow the Commander, "Tell me what you think."

[Holodeck - Proton's ship]

Tom looked at his firstborn, "Now, when we last saw our heroes they had just retaken their rocket ship. Dr. Chaotica had escaped, but he left behind his trusty robot to foil Captain Proton."

Jennica stared at the man who had helped her enter into her menial existence. "My designation?"

Tom looked at her there was something on her mind but he decided to play the holodeck fantasy out as it was supposed to be played, "Ah, right. You're Constance Goodheart. You're my secretary."

"Secretary."

'Yeah, you tag along on all the missions. Now, I want you to keep the robot occupied while I save Earth. Computer, run program."

Jennica grabbed Tom's arm. "I tag along as it appears I'm doing now. Tagging along with yours and mom's lives. Not really part of them but not separated from them either."

Tom stared at her, "I didn't know you felt that way."

"You abandoned me as a child and now you and the Captain expect me to just accept it and move on: I can't."

Tom drew himself up to his full height, "Now you listen. We did the best we could with what we had at the time. The blame for you being assimilated should be placed on 'my father', not on myself or Kathryn."

"If you had never given me away none of this would ever have happened."

"You can't hold on to this forever Seven, we're going to be stuck on this ship together for a long time."

"And I wish sometimes I was back on the Borg Cube and away from my torrid beginnings."

Jennica walked out and headed for her mother's quarters, maybe there she would get some answers.

[Outside Janeway Quarters]

Seven rang the chime and waited for her 'mother' to answer the door, when no answer was forthcoming she broke in using Borg Encryption Codes.

[Janeway Quarters]

Kathryn heard the chime and ignored it, she didn't want to talk to anyone. She didn't want to be bothered. She placed her hand on her belly and felt the slight tightening and loosening of the abdominal muscles. *I know what this means.*

The doors opened and in walked Jennica, the last person she expected to see. "Seven?"

"You mean Jennica don't you. I am your child."

"Fine, Jennica. What do you want, you've made it abundantly clear that you really don't want to have anything to do with me as a mother: your mother."

Jennica stared at the woman in front of her, "Why did you do it?"

Kathryn stared at her daughter confused. "Why did I do what?"

"Why did you give me up? Why did you leave me to be raised by that man who was my grandfather?"

Kathryn shook her head, "I couldn't raise a child Jennica: I was a child myself."

She glared at Kathryn, "And now what, you think you're going to get a second chance to be a mother to me?"

Kathryn shook her head, "I know there is a lot of pain and resentment in you about what happened, but I can't change the past: All I can do is hope for a chance to make your future better."

Jennica scoffed at her mother, "Better? How can you make anything better? You abandoned me and all to fulfill your own needs and wants."

"That's not true Jennica. I wanted to keep you and so did your father but it wasn't practical."

"Practical. Maybe you should have thought about that before you had sex and created me. I wish some days I'd never been born."

She looked at the hurt and pained woman, "Don't say that Jennica." Kathryn stared at the blond hair and blue eyes and begged for her to stare back but she refused.

The lights dimmed and the power on the whole ship went down as Kathryn - going into Captain's mode - hit her combadge and heard nothing but a low annoying whine.

She reached out for Jennica's hand and finally felt the cold metallic touch of the hand that still contained the tubules and nanoprobes of her assimilation ordeal.

Kathryn screamed out as her water broke and she felt the uterine contractions become more painful.

"Captain?"

"I'm okay, I just think that this child has finally decided to make his appearance."

Jennica sounded panicked, "Here? Now?"

She felt the air in the room become more tense, "I think so, but don't worry these things normally take hours."

Jennica slapped her combadge, "Seven of Nine to Commander Chakotay." When she heard no response and just the annoying noise that the combadge made when communications were down, she tapped it again, "Seven of Nine to anyone listening."

Kathryn screamed out again and panted through a contraction. "Seven, I don't think anyone can hear you."

"Mom, I can't help you. I need you to help me."

"I don't think we have much of a choice Jennica. I think there's a flashlight in the drawer by my bedside."

Jennica nodded and went to the bedside of her mother and step-father's room. "I think I found it."

Kathryn was panting through another contraction, when the pain subsided she summoned her, "Bring it here."

Jennica turned on the flashlight and walked slowly towards Kathryn careful not to step on any of her other children's toys that lay strewn about the room.

"Here Captain."

Kathryn shook her head, "I need you to pull off my pants and see if you can see anything down there: See how far I've progressed."

Jennica held the flashlight on her face showing Kathryn the fear in the woman's eyes, and all of a sudden she looked like a scared child. "Jennica, it's okay. I'm here to help you through this, but you need to help me."

Kathryn panted and bent over pushing. Jennica flashed the light down and saw the crown of a child's head. "Mom, I think I see the head of your child."

She nodded, "That's good Jennica: all I need you to do is support your brother's head when I get it out."

Jennica set the flashlight on the coffee table shining it down as she saw the baby's head make its appearance completely. The child was so small; so tiny. "I see the head Captain."

Kathryn nodded, "Can you just hold the head and on the next contraction I'll try and get the rest of the baby out."

Jennica nodded and listened as Kathryn screamed out and the tiny baby was deposited in her hands. "I believe that I have a sister Captain."

Kathryn looked at Jennica confused, "The doctor told us it was a boy."

Jennica gave a crooked smile that Kathryn recognized as a Janeway special, "I think the doctor was mistaken."

Kathryn felt another contraction and knew she had to deliver the placenta. "Here give her to me, this will help me deliver the placenta." She pulled her shirt open and put the child on her breast. Kathryn pushed, and Jennica looked down, "Captain I don't think that's a placenta."

Kathryn reached down and felt a foot poking out. "Maybe the doctor was only half wrong Jennica." She felt the umbilical cord fall out and Kathryn worried.

Jennica pulled on the cord, hoping to ease the child out. "Don't do that Jennica, if the cord is wrapped around the baby's neck you're going to strangle it."

Jennica pulled her hands away and looked at her mother with fear in her eyes.

Kathryn felt another contraction and pushed as she screamed out and a rush of blood flowed out from between Kathryn's legs.

The lights came on and Jennica looked at her mother who appeared to be deathly pale from the loss of blood. She raised her hand to her Communicator. "Jennica to Commander Chakotay."

There was static and then Chakotay's voice came over the comm. line. "Chakotay here."

"Commander, I think you'd better come to your quarters. Your wife is in labour."

[Bridge]

Chakotay stared around at the bridge crew and looked to Tom, "Tom can you join me please?"

Tom nodded and the two of them swiftly headed to deck two and the officers quarters'.

[Janeway Quarters]

Jennica looked at her brother poking out half way from her mother. "What do I do mom?"

Kathryn was deathly white and the blood continued to ooze out of body.

"Mom? Mom! What do I do?"

Jennica heard the doors to the quarters open and Chakotay rushed in seeing the child that was already there and Tom seeing the second baby half delivered.

"Seven move out of the way."

Tom walked up to Kathryn laying limply on the floor and stuck his fingers inside Kathryn's body feeling for the baby's head and feeling the cord wrapped around the child's neck. "Chakotay I need to deliver this baby now."

Chakotay nodded and rocked the squalling infant in his arms.

Jennica looked on shell-shocked as her father delivered her mother's other child. He held the baby who was blue and not making any noise.

Watching as her mother and her brother seemed to stop breathing in tandem.

Tom yelled to Chakotay, "Are the transporters working Chakotay? I need to get this baby and Kathryn to sickbay."

Chakotay nodded and called for a site to site transport for mother and child to sickbay.

[Sickbay 2 hours later]

Chakotay sat by Kathryn's bedside, her small hand in his. The doctor had told him that Kathryn would survive, unfortunately little Kole had not been so lucky. He had been deprived of oxygen for too long: the cord had been wrapped around the baby's neck too tightly.

Kathryn's eyes fluttered open and her hand went to her abdomen where just hours before their twins had lain. She turned her head towards Chakotay and realized she was in sickbay.

"How are the babies Chakotay?"

"Hannah is fine honey."

Kathryn knew without Chakotay even saying it that her baby boy, the child they had wanted so badly had not survived the birth.

Kathryn looked at him, "Well I guess we can always try again for that son you want so badly."

Chakotay let a tear fall down his cheek, "Kathryn, you were bleeding out, the doctor had to perform a hysterectomy to save you."

Kathryn's hand flew to her mouth and the tears fell freely. In the background their new baby girl began crying. Kathryn held out her hands for the child and Chakotay handed baby Hannah to her.

She clasped her to her breast and they both knew there would be a lot of healing to do in the coming weeks and months.

To be continued in 2. Unexpected Revelations


	2. Chapter 2

Jennica's Story

2\. Unexpected Revelations

J/C

Rated MA

June 2009

By: AW

Length: 6,757 words

Summary: Six hours after 'Rough Beginnings'. B'Elanna, Kathryn and Jennica all have some dealing to do.

Disclaimer: blah blah blah, I DON'T OWN THEM

[Sickbay – 6 hours after part 1. Rough Beginnings]

Kathryn stared down at baby Hannah. She was a cute little baby, the only one of her three children with her father's dark eyes.

They had made an announcement that the child had been born during the Void incident and anyone who had been told of the child's sex was informed that the doctor had been mistaken.

B'Elanna didn't believe it.

Tom knew the truth.

Jennica was hurt by the whole incident. She had finally begun to accept her humanity and this had happened and she had sunken deeper into her 'Borg Persona'.

She was now Seven of Nine and nothing else.

Kathryn took the baby off her breast and looked down at the perfect rosebud lips of her newest daughter, so much like her father, all she needed was a tattoo.

Kathryn almost laughed at her internal comment.

Taya walked in with her father and looked at her new baby sister. "I thought you were going to have a boy mommy."

Kathryn laughed, "Until the baby is born Taya, we never really know. We were just guessing."

Taya seemed to accept this and went back to see Hailey sitting in the playpen beside Kathryn's bed.

Three kids in five years, wow: They had their work cut out for them.

Chakotay walked up to Haley and picked her up to bring her over to Kathryn, "Here...I'll trade ya."

Kathryn glared at her husband and passed the newest Janeway to her father. "Have you talked to Jennica since this whole ordeal happened?"

Chakotay let a shadow fall over his face and wasn't sure how to respond. According to the doctor Jennica had been responsible for Kole's death, and even though she was Kathryn's daughter he wasn't sure he could ever forgive her.

"How about we worry about these three and forget about Seven for a while."

Kathryn sighed, "I can't just forget about Jennica Chakotay. She's my child."

"She told me she prefers not to be called Jennica anymore and that she'd prefer Seven as her moniker."

"Well I can still think of her as Jennica."

The doors to sickbay opened and in came B'Elanna. "So this is the baby that everyone's talking about." She reached out and Chakotay passed the new baby to his friend. "My god she looks a lot like you Chakotay."

Chakotay smiled, pride on his face. "Finally, one that looks like me."

Kathryn laughed, "Come on Taya sort of looks like you."

"Except the blue eyes."

She smiled, "Except the blue eyes."

Kathryn placed her hand on her barren womb, never to bring another baby into the world. She was sore; even more sore than she had been after the other births, but then again she had had a piece of her body ripped out when she had been forced to have the hysterectomy.

She sighed and passed Haley to her father. "Here take her for me will you?"

Chakotay grabbed the baby and stared at his wife. "You know you can't blame yourself for this Kathryn. If anyone is to blame it's Seven."

Kathryn decided it was time to change the subject, "So how is Tom taking to fatherhood?"

"He loves it, he's a little bitter that he wasn't there for Miral's birth, but aside from that it's going great." She paused, "Kathryn, my daughter was born 5 months ago, I think we've already covered all of this."

Kathryn bowed her head, "I know, I was just seeing if anything had changed."

B'Elanna glared at her, "Come on Kathryn, what really happened during Hannah's birth."

"Nothing I almost bled out and was forced to have a hysterectomy so Hannah is going to be our last."

"I don't buy it, Chakotay are you going to tell me what really happened?"

Chakotay stared at Kathryn's pleading face and turned back to B'Elanna, "That is what really happened, I don't know why you don't believe it."

"Fine Chakotay, if you won't tell me I'll find out another way."

Kathryn had tears falling down her face, "Please B'Elanna: Don't dig into this."

B'Elanna looked at the stricken face of her Captain and nodded.

Then she walked out of sickbay without another word.

Chakotay stared at his wife, "People are going to find out eventually Kathryn."

"Maybe, but not from me, and not from you: This is one secret I'll take to my grave if I have to."

Chakotay scoffed, "Yeah like the secret of how you became pregnant with Tom Paris' child a year and a half ago."

Kathryn had hurt written all over her face, "Please Chakotay, don't do this."

Chakotay took Haley from her mother and took Taya by the other hand and walked out of sickbay, leaving Kathryn feeling more alone and afraid than ever.

[Paris Quarters – 3 hours later]

B'Elanna had just spent the last two hours battling Cardassians. She took the regenerator out of it's hiding place and sealed the bones and the skin that had been shattered.

She heard the door open and Tom walked in with baby Miral. "B'Elanna?"

"I'm in here Tom, I'll be out in a second."

He looked at his wife. "Where's little Katie?"

"I left her at Sam's for a while, I needed to run my exercise program to try and get most of the baby weight off of me from the last baby."

"So much for humans and Kliingons not being genetically compatible."

B'Elanna snorted. "Yeah, well this is it. No more babies for us."

He looked at Miral, who had just begun toddling around the apartment. "Man kids grow up fast."

"Don't they all. I still can't believe you have a 23 year old."

Tom shook his head, "Don't B'Elanna, I'm not telling you what happened. If Kathryn chooses to share that with you then fine, but aside from that don't get involved."

B'Elanna stretched her newly healed arm. "I need to know about that abortion that she had earlier this year: I know that baby was yours, what happened?"

Paris looked at his wife, "Again, you want to know ask Kathryn."

B'Elanna sighed and went to leave the quarters, "I have to go and pick up Katie."

There was a tense silence between the couple and not another word was said.

[0700 hours next day – sickbay]

The doctor walked up to Kathryn's bedside. She had gotten her uniform on and was ready to go. "May I leave and take the baby with me? I think that Jennica would like to formally meet her sister."

The doctor didn't look happy. "I want to see you back here in a week to make sure that everything healed properly Captain. I know I've taken you off duty for at least two weeks."

Kathryn looked at the doctor, "Fine, now may I leave?"

The doctor nodded and Kathryn took baby Hannah and quickly left sickbay.

[Cargo Bay 2]

Kathryn walked in baby Hannah with her. She'd have to ask Chakotay why the name Hannah?

She saw Jennica standing against the wall 'regenerating'. What had she done to this poor girl.

She walked up to the alcove and awakened her. Seven's eyes opened and she stared at her mother. "Captain Janeway."

Kathryn shook her head and was incredulous at the hate that this woman held for her: her mother.

"Jennica."

"Seven."

Kathryn sighed, "Fine Seven." She brought the baby up to Jennica's arms, "Would you like to hold your baby sister?"

Seven shook her head, "I have already seen the infant Captain."

"I know what happened was sad, and I thank you for helping me through the birth, but you need to let these hurt feelings go. I don't blame you for Kole's death."

Seven raised an eyebrow, "Can you say the same thing about your husband?"

Kathryn sighed and pushed Hannah up near Seven's arms. "Here, take her. Meet her, you might want to have children of your own someday."

"Highly unlikely Captain."

Kathryn looked once more at her first daughter who refused to meet her baby sister and walked out of the cargo bay.

[Janeway Quarters]

Chakotay had just put the children to bed. He realized that Jennica would continue to come between him and Kathryn if he didn't do something to fix it.

But who could he get to talk to her? Tom and B'Elanna were busy with their own problems, the doctor he supposed: but he wasn't real. Kathryn was probably trying to fix it on her own so who was left?

Chakotay tapped his combadge, "Chakotay to Harry."

Harry sounded as if he'd been sleeping, "Yes Commander?"

"Can you do me a favour?"

Harry paused thinking he was sure that the Commander was gonna try to get him to fix some engineering conundrum but was pleasantly surprised when it was of a more personal nature. "You want me to go and visit Seven? You want me to try and help her through this?"

Chakotay stopped, "She'll know what happened and if she chooses to share it with you, then fine, but she needs someone to talk to."

"Must be slim picking's Commander if you're asking for my help."

"Let's just say that everyone else is involved in one way or another already."

Harry felt kind of insulted. "I guess last in line is better than not being in line at all."

Chakotay chuckled, "Thanks Harry."

"No problem Commander."

Now all Harry had to do was figure out how he was going to approach a problem he knew nothing about.

[Cargo Bay 2 – 20 minutes later]

Harry walked into the darkened cargo bay and watched Jennica standing at attention in her regeneration alcove.

He didn't really want to disturb her but he owed the Captain and Commander so much over the past five years.

He approached the former drone and had to stop himself from tapping her timidly on the shoulder.

He heard the words, 'regeneration cycle complete' and backed off as she stepped out of her self-imposed solitude and lifted his hand up to wave at her.

"Hi Seven."

"Ensign Kim."

He didn't want to tell her that her step-father had asked him to approach her, but he all of a sudden almost lost his nerve.

"I thought you might like someone to talk to after the past three days."

"Ensign Kim, I am not in need of someone to talk to at this juncture but should I need your help in future: I will remember your offer."

He looked at Jennica, "You know when I first met Captain Janeway she scared me. I wanted to impress her at every turn." He paused seeing if this was sinking in. "As the years went on though, I realized she was just as human as the rest of us."

"Ensign Kim, I do not wish to speak with anyone about my new sister or my dead brother."

Harry's eyes almost bugged out of his head at the realization of what had actually happened. "Brother? You must be mistaken, as far as I know only Hannah was born two days ago."

"Harry, I was there; and not only was there a male child born, but I killed him." She turned to walk back into the alcove. "Now if you'll excuse me I have to finish my regeneration cycle."

Harry looked at Seven, "The computer said that you were done your regeneration cycle."

Jennica walked up to him, "Possibly, but I really don't feel like talking to anyone about these events." Harry's jaw dropped open. "You need to talk to someone about this Jennica; it's not healthy to keep it all bottled up."

"I am not Jennica I am –"

"I know you're Seven of Nine, and you'll have to let that go too."

"I refuse to become the weak human being that everyone wants me to be."

He reached up and brushed an errant strand of hair out of her face. "You're a beautiful woman inside and out and the crew will see you as that if you'd just let them in: Give your mother a chance."

Seven stepped out of the alcove. "Very well, but will you please take my step-father out for a beer or something? I need to speak to my mother by herself."

Harry nodded, "I think I can arrange that."

Harry walked out of the Cargo Bay and hit his combadge. "Harry to Tom."

"Yes Harry?"

"Can you please take the Janeway children for the night? There are some things that need to be taken care of without the children there."

"Sure no problem Harry but why are you the one asking?"

"Just trust me Tom, and take the kids for a while."

"Okay, okay I'll be down to pick them up in a minute."

"Thanks Tom."

Harry closed the line and went off to the messhall.

[Janeway Quarters]

Tom walked up to the door to the Janeway Quarters and rang for admittance. Chakotay answered with Hannah in his arms. "Hey Commander, I was asked to take the children for the night."

Chakotay looked curiously at Tom, "Okay?"

Harry approached from the other side, "Hey Commander, I got them to take the kids so I could take you out for a beer."

Chakotay looked at the pair of troublemakers and knew he was being set up. "What about Kathryn?"

"I think she should stay home tonight."

Chakotay handed the youngest Janeway to Tom and beckoned Taya over and went to get Haley. "Here you go I think that's all of them." He called to Kathryn, "Kat, Tom's taking the kids and Harry's taking me out for a beer."

Kathryn heard the unsure tone of his voice and called out, "Why do I think we're being set up?"

Chakotay laughed, "Probably because we are."

Kathryn turned around and got out of her uniform. How had she ever lived in a place so quiet without kids and a husband.

She sighed and walked over to the couch and took a coffee from the replicator and sat down to the blissful quietness.

Before Kathryn had a chance to relax, the door chime rang. She called out "Come."

Jennica was standing at the door almost looking afraid to come in. "I'm sorry mom."

Kathryn stared at her firstborn, unsure how to take her change of mood. "Sorry for what?"

"Sorry for everything. I didn't mean to kill Kole, I know how much you wanted that baby boy."

Kathryn raised an eyebrow. "I don't blame you for any of that. If you hadn't been there maybe neither baby would have survived."

"Or maybe both."

"I didn't even know there were two kids to worry about Jennica."

Jennica looked at her mother, time to bring out the big guns, "Your husband thinks it was my fault. He thinks I killed his son."

"He's just hurt. He was looking forward to having a son and when that baby didn't survive he felt betrayed, and confused."

"And he took it out on me. I can never be a part of your family. I don't deserve to be a Janeway."

"That's not –"

Kathryn didn't even get to finish her sentence before she completed her thought, Seven was gone.

[Paris Quarters]

Tom was watching five children, his wife had told him she was needed in engineering. Just three months ago, she had told him that once Katie was born she would be taking some time off, but she wasn't slowing down even one bit.

Oh well, he knew he'd married a workaholic when he'd first married her.

[Holodeck]

B'Elanna walked up to the doors of the holodeck and called out for the holodeck to open up and give her access to the new schematics to the Delta Flyer. "Computer, activate holodeck program Torres two one six."

The computer answered, "The program is active."

She looked around to make sure no one was watching. "Disengage safety protocols."

"Warning. Disengaging safety protocols presents extreme risk of injury."

"Override."

"Acknowledged. Safety protocols have been disengaged."

She'd felt dead and empty since she had heard about the Maquis. Since the birth of her children, it had almost taken on a life of it's own. She was no longer the chief engineer of the vessel, she was the mother of Miral and Katie.

She all of a sudden understood what Kathryn felt sometimes with three kids. And a forth grown.

Then she thought about the infidelity on the part of her husband and with none other than the great Kathryn Janeway.

Life wasn't fair.

B'Elanna sat down at the helm of the 'Delta Flyer' recreation, "Computer, activate immersion shielding.

"Immersion shielding activated."

"Commence descent sequence." What she was doing was dangerous and she knew it, but she had to feel she had something to live for besides children and a husband.

Maybe she and Tom had rushed into this marital bliss thing, and maybe they'd rushed into parenthood.

"Range to probe, thirty thousand kilometres. Twenty five thousand. Warning. Atmospheric pressure is exceeding tolerance levels. Rapid ascent recommended."

"Continue descent."

"Acknowledged. Range to probe, ten thousand kilometres."

"Safety protocols have been disengaged. Warning. Atmospheric pressure is exceeding tolerance levels."

She was an engineer she could fix this, "Re-route power from secondary systems to structural integrity."

"Acknowledged. Micro-fractures are present in zones one and four."

And then something hit her, she felt it and then she felt the bliss of unconsciousness and she finally felt again.

[Paris Quarters]

B'Elanna was taking forever. He knew that this whole parenthood thing had been hard on her, losing her freedom.

Where Tom begged for the stability that a life with a wife and children brought him, B'Elanna lashed out against it.

It wasn't her.

And he was afraid she thought she was losing herself in a role that Tom himself had forced upon her.

[Janeway Quarters – 0200 hours]

The men had been out for a long time. Kathryn felt so alone at this point. The children were probably asleep and Tom was with them, "Kathryn to B'Elanna." She needed a girls night.

No answer, "Computer, locate Lieutenant Torres."

"Lieutenant Torres is in Holodeck one."

Hmmm, maybe it was her fun day too. If Chakotay could go out for a beer with the boys, then she could go and have fun with B'Elanna.

She exited her quarters and headed for Holodeck One.

[Holodeck One]

Kathryn walked into the holodeck and saw the last thing she expected. B'Elanna was lying on the floor obviously hurt, and running a simulation of the new Delta Flyer. She rushed up to her side.

She called to B'Elanna hoping she would wake up. She felt for her pulse and felt a thready one.

The computer blared out the grim deadline, "Warning. Hull microfractures are present in zones one, two, three and four. Hull breach is imminent. Repeat.

Hull microfracture are present in zones one, two, three and four. Hull breach is imminent."

She called out, "Computer, freeze program! B'Elanna. Janeway to Sickbay. Medical emergency!"

B'Elanna slowly woke from her stupor and looked around realizing she was in sickbay. The doctor approached her and she asked him, "What am I doing here?"

"You had an accident on the Holodeck."

"How long was I out?"

"Almost twelve hours."

"I'd better get back to my quarters, Tom is probably wondering where I am."

"Not just yet."

"Why?"

"The Captain's asked me to keep you here. She would like to talk to you."

"But I feel fine."

Kathryn walked in wearing a loose dresss, she was still on maternity leave, but the doctor was saying she was coming to her as the Captain, not as Kathryn.

"Would you excuse us please, Doctor."

"Captain, what's going on?"

"Come on B'Elanna, this is not the Captain and Chief Engineer talking, this is Kathryn and B'Elanna. The doctor said you had multiple injuries and some of them are weeks, even months old."

"Well, I'm an engineer. I've had my share of bumps and bruises."

She stared at her chief engineer and best friend, "But you didn't seek treatment for any of these? Come on B'Elanna talk to me."

B'Elanna felt the tears welling in her eyes, "I can't."

Kathryn looked at her confused, "Why not?"

"Because I don't know how to tell you or anyone else that the things that people want in life so badly are killing me."

"I don't understand B'E."

"I have the perfect life. I have the children, I have the marriage, but sometimes it seems like it's not real: this isn't me."

Kathryn saw B'Elanna staring at the floor. She tilted her head up so she was staring her in the eyes. "B'Elanna, I know that family life is sometimes overwhelming. I know how you feel: trust me. When there's a problem with the warp core there's a clear cut answer and that's not always the case when dealing with children and a husband, but sometimes you just have to make that leap and accept the things that life has thrown at you."

"Like you did with Jennica?"

Kathryn's jaw dropped open. "What I did with Jennica, was a long time ago."

"And it's still part of your life. Is that why you stranded us? Running away from your demons and ghosts?"

"B'Elanna I –"

"When you first blew up the Caretaker's array no one understood it, but I'm pretty sure that people understand it now. You thought you were getting rid of yours and Tom's dirty trash: You could start new here with Chakotay and forget about your past, but it didn't happen did it?"

Kathryn looked at B'Elanna, "I don't think there's anything else I can do here doctor. Clean her up and then she's off duty until she gets this all straightened out."

The doctor nodded, but realized that there was more going on here than anyone realized or accepted.

[Janeway Quarters]

Kathryn walked into her quarters and saw Chakotay sleeping on the couch with Hannah sleeping on his chest.

She smiled at the image that they made and walked up and picked up Hannah. She put her in her crib, and walked back to her husband and brushed a finger along his cheek, trying to wake him without giving him a start.

"Hannah!"

Chakotay looked around worriedly hoping he hadn't dropped his youngest baby girl. "It's okay honey, I put her in her crib for the night and I think soon she'll be up begging for food anyway.

Her prophetic words were answered when Hannah began fussing in her crib. She went to the baby and picked her up. She sat down beside Chakotay and clasped the baby to her breast silencing the hungry whines.

She turned to her husband and said, "I missed you tonight, but I had to go and try to help B'Elanna out."

"What's wrong?"`

"We should have seen it sooner, B'Elanna having trouble dealing with motherhood and marriage, and Jennica."

Chakotay raised a hand and ran it over the dark hair. "I think we're all having trouble dealing with Jennica in some way or another."

Kathryn sighed, "I know Chakotay but she is my daughter too."

"I know Kathryn, and if you weren't trying to help her: You wouldn't be you."

[Hallway]

Jennica walked along the hallway, she had just blamed her mother for everything that had happened in her life.

Was her mother really to blame?

As she walked down the hall with her head down she ran into a solid object. As she brought her head up she saw Harry standing there staring at her.

"Harry, what is the big deal about human emotions that everyone is so infatuated with?"

Harry stared at the attractive woman before him and brought his lips down to hers.

The kiss deepened and Jennica looked up confused. She felt 'butterflies' in her stomach and all of a sudden began to realize what her mother and father saw in these human emotions.

She looked up into the deep brown eyes of Harry and lifted her head up to experience the kiss again.

"You see what humans see in the emotions?"

Jennica nodded perplexed and followed Harry into his quarters.

Jennica gave in to the emotions that she knew laid just below the surface of the Borg Drone and allowed Harry to touch her supple breasts.

She felt the jolts go through her body and her mind processed this as the beginnings of an orgasm.

"Is this what –"

"Shut up Jenn."

Jennica laid down and enjoyed, as Harry brought his mouth to her sexual organs. She felt her breath escaping her, and her breathing speed up.

She felt the sensations continuing and his penis entered her. She screeched at the momentary pain that occurred when the hymen of a woman was broken, and she knew she was no longer a virgin.

She let out her breath and felt Harry's lips descend on hers and the feelings continue. She laid back and felt herself being filled with what she acerbically knew was semen.

She finally understood why sex was not something to be thought through or analyzed but merely enjoyed.

Jennica stared at Harry after it was all over and got up. The black jumpsuit quickly being donned and rushing out of his quarters in a flurry of fear and anxiety.

[Hallway outside Paris Quarters – 0300 hours]

Jennica rang the chime to the Paris Quarters and a sleep deprived B'Elanna Torres answered the door. "Jennica?"

"Is Tom home?"

B'Elanna shook her head confused, "Yes why?"

"Can you leave him a note and come with me to the mess hall? I am in need of a chat.

B'Elanna nodded and against her better judgement agreed. She wrote a note to Tom stating that she was going for coffee with a friend who needed a shoulder to cry on. She knew that Tom would think it was Kathryn and he would know she was safe.

Jennica followed B'Elanna to the mess hall and the darkness engulfed both women.

"What is it Jennica? What was so important that you needed to talk to me or anyone at 0300 hours?"

Jennica sighed, "I think I just had my first sexual experience."

B'Elanna's jaw dropped. "Okay."

"I did not feel comfortable going to my mother with this considering that my 'sexual partner' was her head ops officer."

B'Elanna shook her head again, "I beg your pardon."

"I said I think I just had sex with Harry."

"You either did or you didn't."

"Well I felt my 'hymen break and his seed flood my cervix."

"Well then I would say you just had sex for the first time."

Jennica nodded and walked out of the mess hall. "Thank you for the information Lieutenant."

B'Elanna sat dazed by the turn of events.

[0600 Janeway Quarters – 2 weeks later]

"Come on Chakotay we have to get to Celes', drop the kids off and then we have to get to the bridge."

Chakotay grunted, "You know I thought you were bossy before, but I'm telling you, having a month off and then becoming the Captain again: it takes the cake."

Kathryn glared at her husband. "Yeah and me being late for duty on my first day back would not be a good thing."

[0700 Kim's Quarters]

Jennica rolled over and looked at Harry. "Harry, I have to go regenerate at some point. I can't go so long without it."

Harry moaned, "I know Jenn, but I wish you didn't have to."

"I think I'm going to go see the doctor today and see if I can slowly be 'weaned' off of the regeneration unit. It's been what two years?"

Harry sighed, "Are you on boosters?"

Jennica stared at Harry, "Am I on what?"

"Oh god, I don't suppose anyone has had the talk with you have they?"

She stared at him, "The talk about what?"

Harry rolled his eyes, "The sex talk."

"I fully understand how to have sex we've been doing it for two weeks."

"That's not the sex talk I'm referring to. Has anyone talked to you about the birds and the bees?"

The light went on in Jennica's eyes, "Oh that talk."

"Yeah that talk. Maybe you should go and talk to your mom."

"Oh yeah I can picture how that one would go."

[0900 – Bridge]

Kathryn walked out of her ready room. Something was definitely up. Harry would not look her in the eyes. Hmmm... "Ensign."

"Uh, hello Captain."

"Harry you've already said hello to me three times this morning."

Kathryn walked down to the lower level of the bridge and sat in the command chair. She motioned for Chakotay to come close to her. "What is going on with Harry?"

Chakotay shrugged, "I have no idea. Maybe he finally landed a DeLaney sister and is embarrassed about it."

"Chakotay he's hardly a child. I'm sure he's had sex before: he was engaged after all."

"You don't think he was a virgin do you?"

Tom snorted.

"Something funny Mr. Paris?"

Tom shook his head, "Nothing at all Captain."

Kathryn went back to her conversation with Chakotay, "Well there is something funny going on and I have to find out what it is."

[1700 hours – Paris Quarters]

"They know something is up B'Elanna."

B'Elanna rolled her eyes, "Well Harry is a little obtuse. He can't lie to the Captain, he was fine when she wasn't on the bridge."

"I can just see how this is going to go. 'Sorry Captain, I've been banging your daughter for the past couple of weeks'."

B'Elanna swatted her husband. "Tom, really."

The baby started crying and B'Elanna got up to get baby Katie. "You know B'Elanna we still haven't talked about what the Captain said to you that day in sickbay."

She shook her head, "It was nothing really."

Tom took Katie from her mother and patted her back, trying to get a burp out of her. "At least you're finally done breastfeeding B'Elanna. Why don't you and Kathryn go out for the night."

B'Elanna considered her options, "You okay with the kids?"

"Remember a month ago I was taking care of five children alone. I'm sure I can handle our two."

B'Elanna nodded and hit her combadge. "B'Elanna to Kathryn."

"Janeway here."

"Can I come over and chat with you, maybe Chakotay can bring Taya, Haley and Hannah over here and the kids can have a play date with Tom and my two."

Kathryn turned and looked at her husband who nodded. Something was up with B'Elanna and she needed to know what. "Okay B'Elanna come on over and Chakotay will be there momentarily with the kids."

[1730 – Janeway Quarters]

"So what's up with B'Elanna?"

Kathryn shook her head. "I have no idea, but I think after that incident two weeks ago, that perhaps I should have a talk with her."

Chakotay took Haley's hand, and motioned for Taya to come along. He was so glad that two of the kids were walking now, it made his life a whole lot easier. "She could just be wanting to talk to you about something work related. Today was your first day back on duty after all."

Kathryn nodded, "I suppose." Chakotay left the quarters and Kathryn sat on the couch, waiting for her friend to come by.

The door chime rang and Kathryn called "Come."

Jennica was there.

[Paris Quarters]

Tom answered the door and saw that Chakotay had made his way to their quarters children in tow.

"Hey Tom."

"Hi. Wow, the kids are getting big."

"Yeah I know." He passed the littlest Janeway to Tom. "This one is still my baby."

"I know. Two months old now?"

"Just about tomorrow is her two month birthday."

Tom looked at Chakotay, "You think your wife can help mine?"

"I think it has even taken me a while to get over everything that has happened between the two of you, and I think that it's still hurting B'Elanna, but I think she'll get over it."

Tom stared at the floor, "I don't love Kathryn the way you do you know." He looked Chakotay in the eyes, "And she only has eyes for you Chak."

Chakotay smiled, "I know, and I'm glad you figured that out before you ruined everything with B'Elanna."

[Janeway Quarters]

"- and then I finally got Katie weaned, and now..."

B'Elanna looked at the scene before her. Jennica was sitting on Kathryn's couch with tears running down her face and Kathryn was staring at her with a hand on her daughter's knee: just listening."

"Oh my god Kat, what's wrong with Jennica?"

Kathryn motioned for B'Elanna to come in. B'Elanna walked over to the table and sat and watched the scene before her. "I didn't even think ahead."

"Have you been to see the doctor?"

Jennica shook her head. "I didn't want to worry anyone until I was sure, and I'm still not."

B'Elanna watched the scene play out before her. This wasn't exactly what she had planned for the night, but Jennica obviously needed to talk.

"Kathryn –"

Kathryn raised her hand stopping B'Elanna's questions before they began. "Jennica, you need to know for sure."

Kathryn pulled out a tricorder from behind her couch. "I can give you a quick scan now if you want, but I have to tell you that it will tell me who the father is."

"I don't want you to know mom."

B'Elanna's jaw dropped open, as she listened to everything that was going on. "I'm going to find out eventually Jennica, this isn't something that you can keep a secret forever."

"What if I don't want this baby?"

"The father has to know."

Kathryn felt her life re-playing before her.

She remembered a year ago, a moment in time where her and Tom had found each other on Earth. She felt her life unravelling before her, she had trapped her crew 400 years in the past, she had to find a way out. She was wound tighter then a violin string.

"Kathryn calm down you'll get us out of this, you always manage to pull that rabbit out of your hat."

She looked at Tom, "I am so tired of living on the edge like this. Chakotay and I haven't been getting along: it's just not right."

And then he kissed her, and she felt the déjà vu of many years ago. That day the two of them had conceived Jennica.

"We can't do this Tom. You're married, I'm married. We have children depending on us, there's too much at stake."

He let his hand clasp her breast and Kathryn lost herself in the past. It felt as if time stood still and nothing but this moment mattered.

Kathryn looked back at Jennica, pulling herself out of her reverie. She looked to B'Elanna. "Here can you scan her and just tell her if she's pregnant."

Jennica wasn't sure she wanted B'Elanna to know. Harry was after all B'Elanna's husband's best friend. "Okay mom, you can scan me but please don't say anything until I explain."

Kathryn nodded and opened the tricorder. She took the wand out of it's casing and began scanning her daughter. And there it was, a tiny heartbeat, and the father's identity.

Kathryn closed the tricorder and put her hand over her mouth. *Harry is the father of my grandchild.*

She took in a deep breath and turned to B'Elanna. "B'Elanna can you give us some privacy for a minute? How about you go to the mess hall and grab us all a snack."

B'Elanna nodded and left the quarters. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Jennica glared at her mother, "What did you want me to say? Did you want me to tell you I was too stupid to get on boosters? Did you want me to tell you that Harry and I lost ourselves in the moment?"

"I know that we haven't been getting along too well lately, but I'm still your mother."

Jennica nodded, "I don't know if I can have this baby mom. I don't know if Harry wants this baby, I don't know if I can take care of a baby, I don't know if my body will even carry a child to term."

"Shhh, Kathryn hugged her daughter: We'll work it out." Jennica nodded and placed a hand on her belly, "How far along am I?"

"Not that far along, about three weeks."

Jennica nodded. It was the first day they had made love then. They both spun around at the sound of the door opening behind them.

B'Elanna walked in carrying a tray of muffins. "I think they're supposed to be banana muffins, but I'm not sure."

Kathryn smiled. And motioned for her to come over. They all sat at the table and began munching on the muffins.

B'Elanna stared at Jennica, "Well I know that you and Harry have been seeing each other and I know that you lost your virginity to him –"

Kathryn cut her off, "You knew?"

B'Elanna made a face, "What was I supposed to do Kat? Tell you that Harry had deflowered your eldest daughter?"

"Oh this is great, am I the last one to know?"

B'Elanna stared at her best friend, "No I don't think that Tom or Chakotay are privy to this information yet."

Kathryn let her head fall in her hands, "How am I going to tell Chakotay?"

B'Elanna looked at her, "How am I going to tell Tom?"

Jennica got mad, "Neither of you are going to tell anybody anything until I talk to Harry and we decide what to do."

Kathryn walked up to her and hugged her, "I'm always here for you honey, no matter what you and Harry decide."

Jennica nodded and left her mother's quarters. Kathryn went and sat down on the couch. "Quite a day huh B'Elanna."

"Harry huh?"

"Yep Harry."

Kathryn drew in a deep breath and remembered:

She remembered before Jennica even re-entered her life. She knew she was pregnant, and she knew it wasn't even her husband's child. She had so much on her plate, so many things to deal with: the Borg, species 8472, her two children at home a husband that needed her.

And then there was B'Elanna, could she do this to her?

She looked in the mirror and made sure there were no signs yet of the child she carried and she tapped her combadge. "Janeway to Paris."

"Yes ma'am."

"Can you come to my quarters please, just you."

Five minutes later Tom walked through the doors of her quarters. "Tom, I need to talk to you."

Tom nodded and prompted her to continue.

Remember when we were back on Earth, and what happened between us?

Tom nodded, and waited for the bomb to drop.

"I'm pregnant."

"I beg your pardon?"

And she remembered thinking déjà vu, and then she remembered telling him that she couldn't have that baby and that neither of their spouses needed to know.

It was a null point since the doctor had needed to remove the baby to save Kathryn's life, but it still hurt.

She made the decision that she had not been able to make all those years ago; and now her daughter was faced with the same decision.

She heard the doors to her quarters open and the children came in. "B'Elanna came home so I figured you two were done; and just in time too, I think Hannah's hungry."

Kathryn reached for the baby, "Oh, is my little angel hungry?"

The baby greedily latched on to Kathryn's breast. Taya of course found the muffins. "Mom can I have a muffin."

"Sure honey." She turned to Chakotay, "Did you guys eat?"

Chakotay chuckled, "Yeah we had a Paris special: pizza and beer."

Kathryn laughed, "Well at least I know I don't have to feed the family."

Kathryn turned towards the viewport and got lost in thoughts of her eldest daughter and the decisions that had to be made.

[2200 hours – Kim Quarters]

Jennica stood outside the door to Harry's Quarters and brought her finger up to touch the buzzer. When he called for entrance, Jennica walked into the quarters.

"Hey Jenn, what's up?"

She stared him in the eyes. "I'm pregnant Harry."

Harry's jaw dropped open and Jennica was unsure: unsure of everything.

To be continued in 3. Tragic Beginnings


	3. Chapter 3

Jennica's Story

3\. Tragic Beginnings

J/C

Rated MA

June 2009

By: AW

Length: 2,404 words

Summary: Directly after 'Unexpected Revelations'. B'Elanna, what are they going to do with her now?

Disclaimer: blah blah blah, I DON'T OWN THEM

[Kim Quarters directly after part 2. Unexpected Revelations]

She stared him in the eyes. "I'm pregnant Harry."

Harry's jaw dropped open and Jennica was unsure what to do or say.

"Harry say something,"

Harry gulped, "Wow."

"Wow, that's all you have to say?"

"Have you told anyone else?"

She sighed, "I found out from my mother, and B'Elanna was there too."

"So what are you going to do?"

She glared at him, "I guess I'm going to have a baby."

"You know that's not what I meant," he paused, "I mean do you want to have this baby?"

Jennica's mouth dropped open. "I hadn't really thought that far ahead, but I think we should go visit the doctor and get my options."

"You mean OUR options."

Jennica shook her head, "No I mean MY options."

Jennica walked out of his quarters.

[2 hours later – Janeway Quarters]

"Kat what's up? You're been quiet all evening, and the kids are in bed now tell me what's going on."

Kathryn sighed, "I can't."

"I'll help you through this Kathryn whatever it is."

"I can't tell you Chakotay, not yet anyway: It's not my place."

Chakotay sighed, "Well then maybe you can talk to me about something that you can tell me about."

Kathryn looked at him confused, "How about what happened between you and Tom that ended up with a baby. I want to know how you could do that to me, especially when we were trying for a baby."

"I didn't mean for it to happen Chakotay and I surely didn't mean for a baby to come from it."

"So what? He didn't mean to stick his dick in you, and you didn't mean to have his seed flood you, and you didn't mean to get pregnant?"" He stopped and looked at his wife's shocked expression, "Okay I'll agree you probably didn't mean to get pregnant."

"Chakotay, I fixed that problem and not too much later we ended up with a healthy baby girl."

"And a baby boy, or did you forget that your other child caused Kole's death."

Kathryn got up and walked towards their bedroom, "I can't talk about this now, and I have other things that I have to deal with that don't include my stupidity from days and years past."

"Days? What the hell does that mean Kathryn, am I that bad that you have to get your jollies somewhere else?"

"Stop it Chakotay, just stop it. You know that there is no one else."

"That's not what Tom said after your little excursion."

Kathryn walked up to he husband and stared at him. "I don't know how many times I can apologize, but that doesn't seem to matter. I don't think you'll ever want to forgive me. I'm not sure if you don't forgive me we can go on."

Chakotay walked up to her and got closer, "You don't mean that."

"You have to let it go Chakotay, for the last time I'm sorry."

"I guess I'll have to accept that then Kathryn, because I want this to go forward."

She sighed, "Until you can get over Jennica and Kole I'm not sure we'll ever move forward."

[0200 hours Paris Quarters]

B'Elanna and Tom lay in bed, both were thinking of different things, their minds occupied with thoughts of everything that had happened over the last year.

"Tom, I gotta go for a little bit. Are you going to be okay with the kids?"

Tom nodded in his sleep induced mania.

B'Elanna walked out of their quarters and hit her combadge. "Torres to Chakotay."

"Chakotay here, this had better be good B'Elanna, it's 0200."

B"Elanna sighed, "Please Chakotay, I need to talk to you."

Chakotay heard the desperation in B'Elanna's voice and turned to his wife who was in a deep sleep. He left her a message saying he had to go and attend to one of the crew and left their quarters.

When he got into the hallway he messaged B'Elanna, "Where do you want to meet B'Elanna?"

"How about the holodeck, I have something I want to show you."

"See you there in five. Chakotay out."

[Holodeck 2]

He walked into a restaurant in Paris, France. "B'Elanna?"

She approached him and stared at him. "Why did they do this to us?"

"Kat and Tom?"

"Chakotay they almost destroyed our families."

"Yes they did, and the weirdest thing happened today. Kathryn actually apologized and asked for my forgiveness."

"Yeah right Kathryn asking for forgiveness?"

"Okay so she basically ordered me to get over it or our life could not move forward."

B'Elanna scoffed, "Yeah that sounds more like Kathryn."

"The reason I came here B'Elanna was because you sounded like you needed a friend."

B'Elanna walked up to Chakotay and pulled up her shirt. "Come on Chakotay what's good for the goose is good for the gander."

Chakotay pulled her shirt down. "Just because they gave in and messed up, doesn't mean we have to follow their path."

"They did it twice, what makes you think that if we let this go without consequences they won't do it again."

Chakotay smiled, "I can't promise that it will never happen again, but I can hope that for once I got through to her and that she meant what she said."

"Chakotay did Kathryn every tell you how that baby happened and what happened between them to create it?"

Chakotay shook his head, "I'm sure they'll tell us when they're ready."

B'Elanna sighed, "I hope you're right Chakotay. I need to believe that this won't happen again, I want to believe that this won't happen again, but this has happened twice and obviously there's still something between the two of them."

"Yeah and her name is Jennica."

B'Elanna rolled her eyes, "You know that's not what I mean."

"Fine B'Elanna, but I have to go. I'd like to be home before Kathryn or any of the girls wake up."

[Janeway Quarters 0300 hours]

Chakotay slowly crept into his quarters and crawled into bed beside his wife. His eyes were just starting to droop when he heard Hannah's cries filling their quarters. He went and picked up the baby and changed her diaper, once she was clean her eyes started to droop and he realized that at this point all she needed was a diaper change and there was no need to wake Kathryn needlessly.

[Same time Paris Quarters]

B'Elanna walked home and saw Tom sleeping soundly and the children still sleeping quietly as well.

She walked out and headed for the holodeck.

[Holodeck One 0330 hours]

B'Elanna stared around the holodeck at all the bodies that were lying there dead. She had made this program when she had heard of all her Maquis friends' deaths.

She saw Meyer laying on the ground, the life bleeding out of him and lay down beside the man she had loved and who had been hers once, she wanted that feeling of love and acceptance back, and she wasn't sure she would ever reach that with Tom no matter how much she tried.

She let a tear fall down her cheek and stared once more at the lifeless body who she sometimes wished she could join in the land of the dead.

She wished she had died along with them.

[Janeway Quarters]

Chakotay had been unable to sleep and finally he got up and got out his akunah and sat down to drift into the dream world.

His lucid dream took a path he hadn't expected. Normally he saw his father, his animal guide, Kathryn.

But this time, the forest was dark. He heard a scream and ran towards the sound and saw an animal, laying bloodied and broken.

The Elk was hurting and he knew that animal guide.

*B"Elanna...*

Chakotay woke himself up from the lucid dream and rushed out of his quarters. As he was headed towards the turbolift he called out to the computer for the location of Lieutenant Torres.

"Lieutenant Torres is in Holodeck One."

Chakotay rushed into the turbolift. "Deck Three." He commanded and the turbolift began its downwards voyager.

[Holodeck One – 0335]

Chakotay ran into the holodeck and saw B'Elanna laying beside Meyer crying.

She got up on her knees and yelled "Go away Chakotay."

"You know I can't do that B'Elanna."

She stood up and pulled a holographic knife out of Meyer's body. "I said back off Chakotay."

Chakotay called out to the computer, "What is the status of the safety protocols?"

"Safety protocols in holodeck one are off."

Chakotay slowly approached B'Elanna and as he got closer, the knife got closer. "Fine you want to watch me do it: here's your show." She plunged the dagger into her stomach and collapsed to the ground beside her former lover.

[0600 hours – Janeway Quarters]

Kathryn heard the cries of the baby and quickly went to go see Hannah, she was probably hungry. She stared around the deserted quarters and realized that Chakotay was nowhere to be found. "Computer location of Commander Chakotay."

"Commander Chakotay is in sickbay."

*Sickbay, what the hell is he doing in sickbay?*

Kathryn quickly got dressed and messaged B'Elanna to see if she could come and watch the children while she went to check on her husband in sickbay.

When there was no answer she spoke to the computer, "Computer location of Lieutenant Torres."

"Lieutenant Torres is in sickbay."

*What the hell is going on?*

She tapped her combadge. "Janeway to Wildman."

"Wildman here." Samantha sounded as if she was just waking up. "Can you come to my quarters and watch the girls for a bit for me?"

"I'll be right there Captain, just let me get Naomi up and out the door."

"Thanks Sam."

Ten minutes later Wildman walked into her quarters and Kathryn rushed out.

[0630 – Sickbay]

Kathryn almost lept into sickbay and saw Chakotay sitting by B'Elanna's bed, her engineer looking worse for wear. "Chakotay what happened?"

"It's all my fault. I should have listened to her."

"What are you talking about?"

"B'Elanna was lying down by her former lover, or the holographic representation of him anyway. We saw all the signs, she was depressed, she was distant –"

"It's not your fault Chakotay she was disturbed. Is she going to be okay?"

Chakotay snorted. "She's dead Kathryn. Nothing will ever be the same."

Kathryn covered her mouth with her hands. "I should have listened to her, if I wasn't so self-centered: She was crying out for help Chakotay."

"You knew about this? About her unstable frame of mind?"

"I knew she was running holodeck programs without safety protocols. I knew she was hurting herself, the doctor told me as much."

"And you didn't do anything?"

"I took away her holodeck privileges I did everything I could."

Chakotay looked at Kathryn disgusted. "You keep telling yourself that Kathryn, but if I had known this could have been prevented. And as for taking away her holodeck privileges: You thought that would stop B'Elanna?"

The doctor came rushing out of sickbay. "Captain, is it possible for you to get Seven down here?"

Kathryn looked confused, "Why don't you just ask her?"

"I think you'd have better luck Captain."

The Captain nodded and looked to Chakotay. "You can blame me all you want Chakotay but that won't bring her back."

She went to the Cargo Bay to get Jennica to agree to come to sickbay.

[Paris Quarters]

Tom woke up to an empty bed beside him and a flashing on the screen. There was a message there, it was from B'Elanna.

"If you're watching this Tom, I won't be able to continue the rest of this journey with you. I need you to know –"

[Cargo Bay 2]

Kathryn walked up to the regeneration chamber and woke her daughter. "Jennica, the doctor needs to see you immediately."

Jennica looked at her mother curious. "Why?"

She pulled on her arm, "Just come on."

Jennica followed her out of the Cargo Bay and towards deck 5 and sickbay. The doctor was standing above the lieutenant's body scanning her, almost as if expecting the readings to change.

Jennica ran up to the body, "B'Elanna!"

She looked at the doctor, "Can you reprogram my nanoprobes to fix her?

"Those were my thoughts exactly Jennica."

Jennica held out her arm and the doctor extracted the nanoprobes with a hypospray. "Captain, Commander, if you could leave us alone: we have work to do."

Paris came running into sickbay children in tow. "B"Elanna!"

"I'm sorry Lieutenant: she's dead."

"No, she can't be dead."

"Mr. Paris: calm down."

"Calm down? My wife is dead and you're telling me to calm down?"

Kathryn took the baby from Tom's arms he was getting hysterical and the baby was crying. "Here let me take the children down to our quarters for a while."

Tom passed Katie to her auntie and sank down on the floor and cried.

Kathryn and Chakotay walked to their quarters and entered the code. They entered with the Paris children and Sam went to trade the Paris baby for Hannah. "She's hungry and I can't help her there."

Kathryn smiled and took their youngest from Sam's arms. "Thanks Sam, there was a bit of an emergency."

"I hope everything's okay."

"I think it will be, I'll inform you if there's another problem."

Samantha listened to Kathryn's cryptic remarks, "Okay."

She walked out of the quarters Naomi in tow as Kathryn turned to Chakotay. "I'm sorry but maybe Jennica can help her out."

"If you had to have helped her out when she asked for your help you wouldn't need Seven now."

To be continued in 4. Distracted Intentions


	4. Chapter 4

Jennica's Story

4\. Distracted Intentions

J/C

Rated MA

June 2009

By: AW

Length: 2,880 words

Summary: Right after 'Tragic Beginnings' Tom has issues about the father of Jennica's baby.

Disclaimer: blah blah blah, I DON'T OWN THEM

[Sickbay]

The doctor watched the dead body of B'Elanna Torres, hoping that she would pull in a breath soon. She had been given the nanoprobe treatment and Jennica was laying down on the next biobed recuperating from the extraction of the nanoprobes from her body.

Kathryn walked into sickbay and walked up to her daughter's biobed and grabbed her hand: holding it and trying to give her strength to recuperate from the traumatic nanoprobe extraction that would probably save B'Elanna's life.

Kathryn turned around and stared at B'Elanna's body as she took a breath and the doctor walked up and took readings. "Heartrate at 40, 50, 70, 90..."

He stared at the Captain, "I think she's going to make it Captain, the nectrotic tissue appears to be regenerating."

Janeway let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. "Thank God."

She turned to Jennica and asked the doctor, "How is Jennica?"

"She appears to be doing okay, but since she's been slowly becoming less dependent on the Borg Technology there are also less nanoprobes in her system and I fear that the extraction of such a large amount could be detrimental to the baby's health."

Kathryn looked at the doctor, "What do you mean she's becoming less dependent?"

"I've extracted such a large amount of Borg Hardware from her system that extracting the minimal amount of nanoprobes that might have been acceptable and not damaging to her as a Drone could seriously harm her or even kill her now."

Kathryn stared at the doctor, "Did Jennica know this?"

"She's known for quite some time that carrying the child and extracting that portion of nanoprobes from her system could both be hurtful and destructive to her body and that of her child."

Kathryn's jaw got slack and she stared at him. "So why would she do this."

"She couldn't bear to see her father in the pain he was in when B'Elanna flatlined."

Kathryn shook her head, "You have to save her."

The doctor gave a quirky frown. "I have to respect her wishes Captain."

Kathryn let her head to fall to her hands and the tears fell. Her hand squeezed Jennica's harder. "Fight it honey: For me please."

[3 hours later – sickbay]

Chakotay had left the two older children with Celes, and brought Hannah to sickbay. The computer had told him that this was where Kathryn was.

Baby Hannah was crying, he had supplemented her diet, but the child needed her mother.

What he saw when he walked into sickbay was not what he expected. B'Elanna lay on a biobed her vital signs looking good, and Kathryn sat by a biobed one hand in Jennica's, the other covering the child she carried.

The remnants of tears on Kathryn's cheeks almost broke Chakotay's heart, and he knew that the news on Jennica's front was not good.

Chakotay walked up to his wife and ran his free hand over the Captain's head, moving the hair out of her face.

Kathryn slowly awoke from her disrupted sleep and looked up into Chakotay's dark eyes and saw that he had the youngest Janeway with him.

Kathryn took the child from her husband's arms and unbuttoned the front of her shirt, allowing the child to latch on.

She looked at Chakotay, "I know, I have to let go."

"This is Harry's responsibility now: not yours."

"Harry hadn't even visited her. I don't know if he's even aware of what has happened."

Chakotay got mad, "Oh he's aware, I told him myself. I told him my oldest daughter was in sickbay in critical condition and he'd better get down and take care of her cause it was at least half his fault."

Kathryn let the tears run down her face and she grabbed his hand, "That is the first time you've ever referred to Jennica as your daughter."

"I realized that to avoid losing you I had to accept you in past, present and future; and Jennica is a very large part of your past, even if it was a traumatic part."

Hannah had fallen asleep in her arms and she picked her up and walked her over to the biobed in sickbay.

She smiled at Chakotay and took him into her arms and reached her mouth up to his. "Have I ever told you how much I love you and how good a father you've turned out being?"

"Not recently, but I'll listen any time you want to say it."

Janeway smiled and hugged him. "I hope she makes it out of this Chakotay."

"She will Kathryn, and I'll be here to support you when she does."

[Paris Quarters]

Tom stared at his daughters and thought about his wife lying in the sickbay. The doctor had told him that B'Elanna was going to make it through okay and it was all thanks to Jennica and so it was also thanks to Kathryn. She had given him Jennica.

He loved Kathryn no matter what, and he in turn loved Jennica.

Tom shook his head and walked over to the replicator ordering a coffee. He took a sip and realized that he hated black coffee.

He got mad at the turn of events and threw the mug against the wall wishing it would shatter and give him a satisfying crash.

He stared at the coffee stain on the wall and broke down and cried: Life wasn't fair.

[2 Hours later sickbay]

Chakotay walked over to the bassinette where Hannah was sleeping and picked up his daughter. He brought her over to Kathryn and the two of them locked eyes, "I think we need to go home to our family."

Chakotay nodded and they left sickbay.

When Kathryn and Chakotay walked through the doors, Chakotay told Celes she could go. The children were both asleep and Hannah had fallen asleep in Kathryn's arms on the way home.

Kathryn placed the youngest Janeway in her crib and slowly walked back to Chakotay, taking his hand and leading him into the bedroom.

Chakotay's eyebrows raised, "What's this?"

"This is me apologizing for everything that has happened over the last year." His lips descended on hers and his hand grazed her cheek. "I love you. And I realized that Jennica is a huge part of who you are and what made you what you are and I have to accept her into my life, to accept you completely."

Kathryn had yet to say a word, and nodded. She let her cloths drop to the floor and Chakotay appreciatively gazed at his wife's body. "Do you realize how beautiful you are?"

Kathryn threw him a quirky half smile, "So you've told me."

Chakotay laughed and pulled her onto the bed his hand slowly rubbing her side as it made up to her breasts.

She sucked in her breath at the unexpected contact. "Oh gods, I love you ."

"Promise me you'll never leave me Kathryn."

"Never Chakotay."

He loved this woman more than life itself. He smiled at her, and they made love until the children woke up in the wee hours of the morning.

[Paris Quarters 0700 hours]

Tom had spent all night cleaning up the mess he'd made. He was surprised that neither Katie or Miral had woken up to the sound of things breaking.

He had to talk to Kathryn about Jennica. He thought that they'd finished their past once and for all, but he wasn't so sure anymore.

And Jennica was pregnant, and it was his best friend's baby: He was going to kill Harry.

And then there was B'Elanna, Jennica had saved her, but in saving his wife, she had endangered his granddaughter.

He sighed and made his way to Harry's Quarters. He had to get this out in the open once and for all. He took the children and dropped them off at the nursery and then made his way towards Deck 2 where Harry's Quarters were.

[Kim's Quarters – 0715]

Harry was awakened by the chime he wiped the sleep out of his eyes and went to answer the door. He bid entrance to whoever was on the other side and saw Tom standing there, anger in his eyes. "Hey Tom."

Tom walked into the quarters, and slammed Harry against the wall. "How dare you?"

Harry shook his head, "I beg your pardon?"

"If she dies I will never forgive you: Do you hear me?"

Harry was unsure what to say. "I love –"

"You love her? You don't even know her, and you took advantage of her. And now if you're not careful I'll take advantage of you." He threw his best friend on the ground and walked out of his quarters headed for sickbay.

[0800 hours – sickbay]

Tom walked into sickbay and watched his wife and his daughter. His family was currently being healed. He heard B'Elanna moan and rushed up to her bedside. "Hey."

B'Elanna smiled, "What happened?"

Tom shook his head. "You don't remember?"

B'Elanna shook her head.

Tom looked at the doctor who was motioning for him to his way. "Mr. Paris, my office please?"

Tom walked over to the doctor's office and looked at him questioningly. He walked through the doors and the door to the office slid closed. "Mr. Paris; she doesn't remember anything."

"Why?"

"I injected her with a serum and wiped the memories of the suicide. She'll be in a much better mood for you now."

"Does she remember the children, or anything else of our life together?"

He nodded, "I selectively removed certain memories. Those ones were untouched."

The doctor looked so proud of himself. Tom was confused and a little perturbed that he had done this without asking Tom himself. "You had no right."

"I had a suicidal half-Klingon Chief engineer, I had to do something for her."

"So she doesn't know what Jennica did for her then?"

"No, and she never will unless someone opens his big mouth." He stared at Tom.

B'Elanna's voice interrupted from across sickbay, "How's Jennica?"

"She's having problems with the pregnancy. I'm not sure if the baby will make it if I don't transfer it to another host."

Tom looked pleadingly at his wife. "Tom."

"No B'Elanna, I won't let you do that."

"Hey I offered."

Kathryn walked into sickbay at that moment. "Hello B'Elanna, feeling better? That was a nasty fall you took."

"Much Captain, thanks."

She walked into the doctor's office. "Did it work?"

"As far as I can see."

Kathryn nodded. "Okay doctor, now how's Jennica?"

"I'm not sure she can survive this pregnancy, the baby is doing well for the moment but he's draining so many of Jennica's life nutrients."

Kathryn shook her head. "Can you transfer the baby into another host?"

"I could, but as you know Captain...it can't be you."

She let her head fall, "I know that doctor, but is it possible?"

"Yes, B'Elanna's already offered, but Tom stopped that really quickly."

"Let me talk to Tom and see what can be arranged."

The doctor nodded and Kathryn left the doctor's office.

Kathryn walked up to B'Elanna's biobed, "It's nice to see you're feeling better Lanna."

She nodded, "Thanks Kat."

She stared at Tom, "May I speak with you for a moment Mr. Paris?"

Tom nodded and followed Kathryn out of sickbay towards the mess hall.

When they reached the mess hall, they found a secluded table at the back. "Tom, does B'Elanna want to do this?"

"Kathryn, you knew what the doctor was going to do?"

"I'm the one who suggested it Tom, we can't have her flying off the handle like this."

"I can't believe you didn't talk to me first Kat, memory wipe is a dangerous procedure."

"And it worked, and now Jennica needs her help."

He looked at her unbelieving, "I almost lost my wife today, you forced a dangerous procedure on her, and now you're suggesting another operation that you think might save your first born daughter?"

Kathryn tilted her head.

"Do you know who that baby's father is? Harry took advantage of your daughter."

"She's a grown woman, and so is B'Elanna, and you have to let them make their own decisions whether you think they're right or not."

"Kathryn, that is not right and you know it."

"It's not our decision to make, that child is grown, we got her back and now she'll leave us again if you don't let B'Elanna help her."

Tom nodded, "I'll speak with her tonight, she's being released right after shift."

Kathryn nodded and left the mess hall.

Tom went to sickbay and immediately walked over to B'Elanna's bed and took her hand looking into her eyes. "I've talked to Kathryn, she thinks that if you're willing to take Jennica's baby I should let you do it."

"I thought you said you didn't want me to."

He smiled at her, "I didn't, but it might be Jennica and her baby's only chance."

"I think we should let the doctor try then Tom. She's carrying your grandchild you know."

"Yeah and Harry's son."

B'Elanna let a smile grace her lips, "So you know it's a boy then?"

"That's what the doctor tells me."

"I'll do it Tom: I'll do it."

Tom nodded and went to talk to the doctor to make preparations.

[1700 hours – Janeway Quarters]

"Well the doctor said our daughter is going to be alright. Tom convinced B'Elanna to go through with the transfer and it appears our 'grandson' is going to be fine as well."

Chakotay looked at his wife. "I hope that Jennica will be fine Kat."

She smiled at him, "She's a Janeway: She's a fighter."

"I hope so Kat. I can only imagine what it would be like if it was Taya, or Haley, or Hannah that were sitting in sickbay dying."

Kathryn nodded, "Have I told you lately how great a father you've turned out to be?"

"No but I'm willing to hear it any time you want to say it Kathryn."

Chakotay bent down and kissed his wife, "So Harry is going to be our grandson's father."

"Ugh, don't remind me."

Chakotay laughed, "I was under the impression that you thought of Harry almost like a son."

She rolled her eyes, "Yeah but that doesn't mean that I really want him as part of my family, he's my operations officer Chakotay. I'll never look at young Harry the same way again."

Chakotay grinned, "Ah, the children as growing up so fast."

[1715 Paris Quarters]

"There you go B'Elanna, sit down and I'll get you something to drink."

B'Elanna hated being pampered but this time she'd give it to him. "Do you realize that I'm carrying Harry Kim's baby."

Tom glared at her, "Yes and all that means is he defiled my daughter."

"Tom, he's still your friend, and whether you like it or not, Jennica's a big girl."

"I know, but Harry?"

B'Elanna shrugged, "To each his own I guess."

B'Elanna ran her hand over her tummy. "You know, I hate being pregnant."

"It was your offer B'E, you could have refused."

She sighed, "And you never would have forgiven me, this is your grandchild."

Tom stared at her and placed a hand on her belly. "I would never hold it against you B'Elanna. I love you too much."

Miral toddled out of the room, "Mommy? Are you gonna have another baby?"

She smiled at the innocence in the child's question. "Yes, but it's not mine."

Miral looked confused, "Then whose is it?"

"Your sister Jennica's."

She scrunched her nose up still not understanding. "But..."

"Someday we'll explain it to you honey." Her dad took her and sat her at the table. "Why don't I get you some pizza for supper."

Miral nodded her head excitedly and Tom headed for the replicator.

[1730 – sickbay]

Harry walked through the doors of sickbay and went right up to Jennica's bed. "I'm sorry honey, I never meant for it to get this awkward."

He saw she was still fast asleep but he had to talk to her. "Your father isn't too happy about the fact that I am the father of our son." He smiled, "I couldn't think of a better woman to be the mother of my child though Jennica."

He thought about the family tree, "I just realized that my best friend and the Captain of this ship will be our child's grandparents; this could get very messy."

The doctor sat in his office watching the scene in front of him. He knew that the Captain had her doubts about the loyalty that Harry held towards her first born and Tom had been just about to kill Harry when he found out who the father of his grandchild was; but from what he saw: the doctor thought it would be okay.

He looked over the file of the scans that he had taken of B'Elanna after the memory wipe and realized that there might be problems, and he had to watch this pregnancy very closely.

He sighed and closed the files, Harry needed privacy.

"Computer, deactivate E.M.H. set restart for 0500 hours."

To be continued in 5. Hard Times


	5. Chapter 5

Jennica's Story

5\. Hard Times

J/C

Rated MA

June 2009

By: AW

Length: 2,775 words

Summary: Jennica tries to deal with the baby's 'new home', and Kathryn comforts and takes care of everyone.

Disclaimer: blah blah blah, I DON'T OWN THEM

[0600 hours – Paris Quarters]

Tom rolled over in his sleep. The baby had been up most of the night and now someone was bothering him at 6 am. Tom rolled his eyes and looked over to his wife who was sleeping soundly beside him.

He walked out of the bedroom and opened the door.

Harry was standing on the other side, and Tom knew he had hatred in his eyes. "What the hell do you want?"

Harry stammered and then stared at the person that used to be his best friend. "Tom, we have to get over this."

Tom glared at him, "Does Kathryn know that her grandson is your child?"

He sighed, "I will talk to her later."

"You listen to me, if you hurt Jennica or Kathryn or any part of either of our families: I'll tear you limb from limb, that is if Chakotay doesn't get to you first."

The door shut in front of him and Harry walked to the mess hall where he knew he would find the Captain at this time in the morning.

[Mess Hall – 0630 hours]

Kathryn sat in the mess hall. She enjoyed these early hours, no one was around and she had time to figure out her day before anyone else woke up for the day and her role as Captain started. She heard the doors open and she knew it wasn't Chakotay, he started later than her this morning and was taking care of the children until then.

She saw Harry approach her, "Well Mr. Kim, good morning."

Harry stuttered, he wasn't sure how to take this. "Captain, uh..."

Kathryn laughed, "It's okay Harry: I've had a couple of weeks to get over the surprise that you are the father of my grandson."

Harry looked at her. "I'm sorry Captain, I don't know how this –"

"Come on Harry, of course you know how this happened. You had sex, and the object of your affections just happens to be my daughter. I wasn't too impressed at first but like I said, she's 23; she's old enough to make her own decisions." She glared at him, "But you'd better take care of her and the child."

"I actually came to ask you something Captain. I'd like to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage and I wanted your approval first."

Kathryn sighed, *This was not going where she expected it to.*

"I think you should speak to Chakotay about that."

Harry had a look of terror in his eyes. "Oh god, I was hoping I could skip that particular step."

"Unfortunately Ensign, he's my husband."

Harry nodded and scurried away leaving Kathryn in solitude to finish her coffee.

[0900 hours – sickbay]

The doctor walked over to Jennica's bed and placed a hypospray on her neck. Her eyes slowly fluttered open. She moaned and looked at the doctor,

"Doctor? What happened?"

She placed her hand on her belly, "Is the baby okay?"

"I had to remove him from your womb."

Jennica felt the tears welling in her eyes. "I lost the baby?"

The doctor shook his head not exactly sure how to tell her, "No, no, the baby is fine for the moment; you're just not carrying him anymore."

"So where is he? What happened?"

"Your nanoprobes were rejecting the child and if I hadn't removed him when I did: he would have died."

She shook her head, "So where is he? Who made the decision? Harry?"

The doctor drew in a deep breath, "Your father and your mother made the decision." He paused readying himself for the outburst, "Lieutenant Torres is carrying your child now."

She was mad, "That wasn't their decision to make. And where was Harry throughout all of this?"

"At your side, where he should have been; he was in no condition to make the decision either, he was beside himself with guilt."

Jennica looked at the doctor, "May I leave now?"

The doctor shook his head, "I need you to stay for observations for 8 more hours, make sure everything's okay with you now."

Jennica nodded, she didn't have a choice. "Janeway to Janeway."

"Jennica, are you awake now? Are you okay?" She heard her mother's voice over the comm. line. "Yes Captain, I appear to be okay, but the doctor is keeping me in sickbay for another 8 hours."

[Bridge – 0900]

Kathryn heard Jennica's voice over the comm. line but something didn't sound right, "Captain to Jennica: I will come and visit you after shift."

"Acknowledged, Janeway out."

Kathryn sighed and turned towards Chakotay. "Chakotay meet me in my ready room." She nodded towards Tuvok and nodded telling him it was his bridge.

Tuvok acknowledged and the command couple made their way into the ready room.

[Ready Room]

Kathryn turned and looked at Chakotay, "There's something wrong Chakotay."

Chakotay stared at her, "What makes you say that?"

"She just doesn't sound right."

"That's hardly a Captain's analytical answer Kat."

"That's a mother's intuition."

Chakotay shook his head, "Maybe but we'll find out after shift what's up with her."

Eight hours later, Kathryn and Chakotay finished their shift and made their way together towards sickbay. As they walked down the hall Kathryn stopped Chakotay and stared at him. "I finally got her back and it appears she's not happy with me. We'll go to sickbay and find out what happened."

Chakotay nodded and as they reached the door, and walked through they saw Jennica standing by the bed fully dressed and ready to go.

Kathryn approached her daughter and stared at the blond woman before her. "Jennica."

Jennica turned around and stared at her mother, "You had no right."

"I had every right: You're my daughter."

"You should have thought about that before you gave me up all those years ago."

"Well I'm here now and –"

"Dumb luck Captain: Dumb luck."

"Jennica."

"Yes Captain, as far as I'm concerned you will never be my mother and Tom will never be my father and neither of you had the right to do this."

Kathryn sighed, "We probably saved the life of your baby."

Jennica began to let silent tears run down her face, "And I should be the one carrying that child, not dad's wife."

"You couldn't Jennica, the Borg made sure of that."

"The Borg weren't the one who took that child from my womb and gave it to someone else; that was you: All you. I know you believe you have all the rights because you're the Captain, but I think this time you stepped over the line."

Jennica turned around and walked out of sickbay. "Captain, nice to see you here." He paused, "I must say that I had to take extreme precautions with Jennica, I wasn't even sure if she was going to make it: the pregnancy put major strain on her body."

"Will she be okay?"

"She will be now."

Kathryn nodded and made her way to Sam's quarters where the children were. Chakotay followed her out of sickbay and grabbed her shoulder and turned her around so she was facing him. "You have to let her go, she'll come around Kathryn."

She looked at her husband, "Maybe, but she's a Janeway and stubborn to the core: which means it could be a while before she stops and thinks."

"That may be true Kathryn, but for now you have to let her go: she'll come around."

Kathryn's piercing blue eyes stared at Chakotay, "Maybe, let's just hope she does."

[Kim Quarters – 1800 hours]

Harry sat in his chair and lay back wondering what the hell he was going to do. He sighed. He knew that Jennica was getting released today and hopefully she would come see him.

His thoughts seemed prophetic as the chime rang. He called 'come', and Jennica walked through the doors.

She looked at Harry, "They took him from me Harry."

"They moved him for his own and your own good honey."

She glared at him, "Why didn't you stop them."

"It might have killed you."

"Why didn't you stand up for me: I'm the one who was carrying your baby, I'm the one who loves you –"

They stared at each other as the weight of the words finally hit them both. Harry smiled at her and got down, "Well you seem to be more open with your emotions than your mother is."

She smiled, "Not the response I was hoping for Harry."

He looked at her honestly, "I think we may have rushed into this Jenn."

Her mouth dropped open. "So what are you saying? You don't want the baby, that you don't love me?"

"I never said that Jenn I just said we're moving really fast here."

She scoffed at him, "Well if you don't want him I'll raise him on my own, don't think that you have to be there for me."

She glared at him and walked out of his quarters.

[Paris Quarters – 1700 hours]

Tom sat across the table from B'Elanna where she was feeding baby Katie her bottle. "Come on Miral, eat your supper."

Miral made a face and stuck her tongue out at her father. "I don't want to eat this. Neelix's food is yucky."

B'Elanna finished feeding the baby and placed her in the swing beside the kitchen table. "This is what you get for feeding that child pizza Tom, now she won't eat what Neelix makes."

Tom looked to his wife. "I don't like eating what Neelix makes either."

B'Elanna laughed, "Touché." She stared at her eldest daughter and try to cajole her into eating, "Come on Miral, three more bites and then you can go and play until bed time."

The three year old crossed her arms in front of her in a defiant gesture, "Fine."

"See Tom, sometimes bargaining is all that needs to be done."

The chime rang and Tom looked curiously at the door and then at B'Elanna, "Are you expecting anyone?"

B'Elanna shook her head and stood up to go and get the door. She answered the chime and saw Jennica standing on the other side of the door. "You took this from me B'Elanna."

Tom approached from behind B'Elanna, "Jennica that's not true and you know it: She was trying to help you."

"By taking away the one thing that would have bound Harry and I together?"

"We didn't take him from you Jennica, when he's born, you're the one who's going to take him and raise him."

"That may be so Tom, but I'm going to miss out on everything before he's born because of you and mom. I don't care if she's the Captain or not, it wasn't her decision to make and neither was it yours."

B'Elanna stared at her, "I know this hurts Jennica but we did this for you: you were so adamant about wanting this child that we had to try and make sure that he was okay."

B'Elanna placed her hand to her head feeling a major headache coming on.

Jennica glared at her step mother, "This isn't your baby and this isn't your job to carry him."

B'Elanna got mad, "You think I want to be pregnant with a child that isn't mine?" She looked at her daughter-in-law incredulous, "Whether I like it or not, I'm going to bond with the child and then I'm duty bound to give him to you."

Tom was watching the whole scene from the back, "Honey..."

B'Elanna turned around and stared at her husband, "Stay out of this Tom, it's between myself and your daughter."

Jennica shook her head, "If you weren't pregnant with my child B'Elanna, I'd take you out right now."

Miral watched from the corner with fright in her eyes. "Daddy, don't let her hurt mommy."

Tom turned around, he'd almost forgotten Miral was there. "It's okay Miral, why don't you go to your room and play by yourself for a while."

Miral quietly nodded and went to her room. "B'Elanna, calm down. The stress is not good for the baby."

"You're awful protective of 'your grandson' Tom. See Jennica, this isn't our baby and we know it." B'Elanna put her hand to her head again and keeled over.

"B'Elanna!"

Jennica looked at the scene unfolding before her and escaped the quarters before any more words could be said.

Jennica left her father's quarters and just ran. She ran for longer than she thought possible. Finally at the end of the corridor, she fell to her knees and let the tears engulf her.

[Corridor – deck 2]

Ensign Murphy had just finished her shift and she was walking down the corridor towards her quarters. She walked by a walkway and saw Jennica Paris crying on the floor curled up. "Jennica?"

The woman refused to answer the Ensign and she tapped her combadge to get the Captain's daughter help, "Murphy to Janeway."

"Janeway here."

"Can you please come to deck five section 47, I think that Jennica needs your help."

In her quarters Kathryn turned and stared at her husband, "I have to go Chakotay, can you take care of the children for a few minutes?"

Chakotay nodded, "Go Kathryn, she needs you."

Kathryn stared at him once more, "I hope I can help her Chakotay, it's been a long time."

"I know Kathryn, I know."

Kathryn exited the quarters and made her way towards the area that Ensign Tali Murphy had specified. Despite the bad feelings that Jennica seemed to hold towards Kathryn herself, she was still her mother.

She ran up to Tali and saw Jennica crouched on the floor.

"Jennica, come back to me."

Jennica looked up at her mother through frightened blue eyes into Kathryn's kind loving ones.

Kathryn opened her arms and Jennica threw herself into them. "Mom..."

"I know Jennica, I know."

Kathryn looked at Ensign Murphy and nodded telling her she could leave. The Ensign left and hoped that the Captain and her daughter would be okay.

Kathryn reached down under Jennica's chin and forced her to look at her. "Jennica, everything will be all right. Why don't you come to our quarters and talk to Chakotay and I?"

"Why would your husband want to see me? He has children of his own to worry about."

She smiled at her daughter, "He referred to you as his eldest daughter the other day you know."

Jennica looked at her mother surprised, "What are you talking about? He has children of his own to worry about and love."

"That's what you don't understand, he thinks of you as one of his own."

Kathryn grasped her daughter and held her close, "He loves you Jennica because you're my daughter."

"I know mom but it's just so hard to understand, it's so hard to accept."

Kathryn smiled, "I know. And I'm sorry that it took me 22 years to find you and help you but I'm here now, and Chakotay's here now. And I'm sure

Tom's here now to help you too. We all love you Jennica, all of us."

Jennica nodded, "I understand, but I'm not really part of your family, or part of Chakotay's."

Kathryn pulled her up to look her in the eyes, "You don't understand yet, and I understand that you don't think that Chakotay understands or accepts you yet, but it will all come together: All of it."

"Even the baby? Some day B'Elanna will accept me, and she'll love me too?"

Kathryn nodded, "And Harry will come around too." She let a little laugh escape her lips, "Because if he doesn't I'll have to have a little chat with Ensign Kim and he won't like it."

Jennica smiled. "I understand mom, I understand."

Kathryn grabbed Jennica's hand. "Come on; let's go home and you can talk to your step dad and let him accept the fact that he is going to be a grandfather."

Jennica laughed, "I guess he will, and B'Elanna is going to have that baby."

Kathryn shook her head, "I'm not sure I understand. I just accept it and move on, and the moment that you look at that baby Jennica you'll understand how I do it, how we all do it, how we've done it for five years."

Jennica nodded, "Thanks mom."

And then Jennica headed with her mother towards the Janeway Quarters and towards destiny.

To be continued in 6. Split Decisions


	6. Chapter 6

Jennica's Story

6\. Split Decisions

J/C

Rated MA

June 2009

By: AW

Length: 2,673 words

Summary: Directly after 'Hard Times' Jennica goes on, Harry gets involved and B'Elanna begins to rememeber.

Disclaimer: blah blah blah, I DON'T OWN THEM

[1400 - Janeway Quarters]

Kathryn had finally calmed Jennica down and even though she was scheduled to be on the bridge. She had commed Chakotay and informed him that she had to take care of Jennica for a little bit and he had been okay with that. He would be home from shift soon.

They all had a lot of healing to do.

"Jennica, please don't ask about such things."

"I just want to know why you made the decision but it wasn't you who carried my baby."

Kathryn sighed, "I couldn't Jennica."

"You couldn't, or you wouldn't?"

"Jennica please don't ask questions you don't really want to hear the answer to."

"I want to know mom. I would think after everything and accepting this child: your grandchild that you would want to help me bring him into the world."

Kathryn practically yelled at her daughter, "I was unable to do it, after Hannah and the complications with that birth, I was forced to have a hysterectomy if I was going to survive."

Kathryn had remember the look on Jennica's face at the realization that she had been the cause of Kathryn's suffering. If she could have she would have carried that child herself but she was unable to do so.

"I'm sorry Jennica, you have to believe it wasn't your fault."

"I need to get out of here mom.

And then she recalled getting a call from Tom saying that Jennica had gone to visit him and had basically demanded to know things about Kathryn's medical history.

Had the miscarriage and the death of her brother been her fault?

Tom had been unsure what her mother had told her and didn't want to divulge anything that Kathryn had kept from Jennica.

Finally Tom had comm'd her.

"Paris to Janeway."

Kathryn had answered the hail, and listened, "Kat, what did you tell Jennica about Kole?"

Kathryn sighed, "I didn't tell her anything, why?"

"She's here and she wants to know."

Tom, give Jennica my medical history and answer any of her questions, then I'll talk to her and try to explain what happened from my perspective once she had the hard facts."

"Thanks Kat, Paris out."

Jennica had told her mother that she had received all of the facts, but she insisted on hearing it from her mother. Was Kole's death her fault?

Kathryn had been unsure how to respond. Did she tell her that yes Kole's death had been her fault, if only she had been gentler and not pulled on the umbilical cord the child might have survived.

She was at a loss when Jennica had come to her, and demanded answers. The truth might put her development back to humanity back to the beginning.

She remembered sighing, in all honesty the doctor had told her that Kole might have died anyway, there was no way to tell.

Unfortunately the doctor had said in the death report - which Jennica had seen - that the cause of death was hypoxia, brought on by the cord being tightly wound around the child's neck.

Jennica had cried for the child that would never know the world: She had blamed herself and Jennica had turned away from her mother.

"I don't know why you didn't tell me?"

"You were having enough trouble dealing with humanity, you didn't need to feel the blame for your brother's death too."

"Okay and then because of his death we almost lost you too? I was almost responsible for the death of the Captain of this ship?"

Kathryn had stared at her and wiped the tears away from her daughter's cheeks. "I never blamed you Jennica and neither did Chakotay."

Jennica let out a shallow laugh, "Yes he did. Now you're lying to me."

Kathryn walked over to the viewport and softly said, "Maybe at first baby, but he got over it. I forced him to get over it. He accepted you or I was leaving."

Jennica let out a shallow laugh, "Yes he did. Now you're lying to me."

Then she had collapsed on the couch, and Kathryn had run her hands through her daughter's hair until she fell into a fitful sleep.

"Chakotay, I'm sorry it came out like that."

Chakotay smiled at his wife. "It would have come out eventually Kat."

Kathryn sighed, "I know but it wasn't fair to you; and I know you blamed her at first for Kole's death, but I'm glad you got over it." She let his lips descend on hers, when she pulled away she looked up at him. "Have I told you lately how great a father and husband you've turned out to be?"

He grinned, "No but it's nice to hear anyway."

She smiled and slowly her hands moved downwards. She undid the buckle of his pants and slowly slid her hand inside his pants.

Chakotay grabbed her wrist and stared at her, "Maybe we should take this into the bedroom."

She nodded and took his hand following him into the bedroom. She kissed him and ran her hands underneath his shirt, finally taking it off.

He reached his hands under her shirt and it was pulled off as quickly as she had rid him of the rest of his clothing.

He slowly worked his way up until he reached the bottom of her bra. His hand slowly wound around to the back and undid the clasp, letting her breasts invitingly pop out towards him.

She growled as his lips descended on her nipples. "Yes, please Chakotay."

He licked around the areola and her breathing sped up as he worked his way down her front, past her belly and to her pubic line. She began to writhe as his tongue met her clitoris and sent jolts through her body.

She screamed out his name as he entered two then three fingers into her moist depths. "Oh god Chakotay." She reached down and grabbed his throbbing member opening up for him to enter her and make her complete.

His lips grazed her ear and worked their way down her jaw line eventually making his way to her lips.

As his tongue entered her mouth they joined in more than one place, and the steady and ancient rhythm began and they knew as they had always known that they were one.

An hour later they woke up in a tangle of limbs and juices left over from their lovemaking. Someone was calling them through the com system, "Mom, I think someone is hungry."

Kathryn rolled her eyes, "A mother's work is apparently never finished."

Chakotay laughed, "Just remember this is the last time that you'll ever have to breastfeed my child."

"Oh that makes me feel better."

Kathryn got up and wrapped a robe around her body as she walked out to the living area and took her youngest child from the arms of her eldest. "Thanks Jennica."

Jennica smelled sex off her mother, "Having fun were you?"

Kathryn glared at her daughter, "Don't even."

"Sorry mom, dad."

Chakotay smiled and walked up to hug his 'daughter'. "You should know Jenn you ended up pregnant."

Jennica blushed, "And mom, thanks for the fair Irish skin."

"No problem babe, I figured I'd pass that particular trait on to at least one of my children."

Jennica rolled her eyes, "Lucky me."

[1700 hours – Paris Quarters]

B'Elanna was trying to get some sleep but every time she closed her eyes and cycled into R.E.M. sleep images of blood, and Chakotay, and sickbay plagued her. *I don't consciously remember any of this? What's going on?*

Tom looked at his wife who hadn't slept properly in days and wondered what nightmares plagued her dreams.

Finally she sat bolt upright. "Tom, what's going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"I have memories of stuff happening that I don't remember, but they feel so real."

Tom looked at his wife, "Don't worry about it, we all have nightmares once in a while."

"But they feel like things that actually happened?"

Tom shook his head and knew what was happening. B'Elanna finally fell into a sleep that he knew would be plagued with nightmares and hit his combadge.

"Paris to the doctor."

"Yes Mr. Paris."

"I think we have a problem Doc."

[1730 hours – Kim Quarters]

Harry walked around his quarters confused. He had been so adamant about Jennica carrying that baby. He had wanted that child so badly, and he had pushed when the child was killing his mother to have it transferred to another host.

At first he had been sure that the Captain would volunteer, but then she had said it wasn't possible, and Jennica's eyes had been pained at the refusal.

There was something going on that he wasn't privy to; and then he had heard that B'Elanna had volunteered.

He had almost told her that it wasn't possible. In reality he just thought it was too weird.

But then again, having Tom as his father-in-law was a little weird in itself, and so he had backed off unsure of where the relationship was going.

Point blank, he was scared and all of a sudden he reverted back to the little green ensign who had boarded Voyager five years ago.

Since that day he had not seen Jennica, Tom or B'Elanna outside of their duty shifts.

He thought this odd since B'Elanna was carrying his child, and Jennica had not come around to see him or to talk to him about their child.

Harry heard the chime at his door, and stated: "Come."

Jennica was standing at the door waiting for admittance. "Hi."

Harry smiled, "Hi." He looked at her, she was beautiful. He stepped back and motioned to her, "Why don't you come in."

Jennica walked into the darkness of his quarters. Harry called for lights to 75% and stared at the woman in front of him. "You should let your hair go back to its real colour."

Jennica gave him a crooked half smile and all Harry was thinking was how much she looked like her mother. *Where had that come from?*

"We'll see Harry, we'll see."

He stared at his hopefully soon to be wife, "Let's go see B'Elanna and Tom and try and get this situation settled."

Jennica shook her head, "I'm not sure that's a good idea right now Harry, Dad is still a little sore about you knocking me up."

Harry smiled, "I guess Jenn, but this situation is going to have to be dealt with sooner or later."

"I know, maybe it would be better if you tried to talk to my dad by himself, you are his best friend after all."

Harry nodded and kissed Jennica on the top of the head. *She was so tiny, just like her mother.*

Harry sighed and turned to Jennica, "Jenn maybe you should go for now and maybe I'll talk to you after I deal with your parents."

Jennica nodded, "Okay see you later." She walked out of his quarters, and all of a sudden he realized he had to deal with his feelings towards Jennica, Tom and the Captain. He sighed, why he hadn't seen this before he wasn't sure, but the more he saw Jennica, the more he realized that these things had to be dealt with before he moved forward.

[2000 – Janeway Quarters]

Harry rang the chime and waited. He had made his way by Jennica's Quarters, and she hadn't been around. He had asked the computer for her whereabouts and it had told her the Captain's Quarters.

Kathryn answered the door, "Harry?"

She looked great. Harry mentally slapped himself. *You have a baby on the way with her daughter.* He shook his head, "Is...uh...Jennica here?"

"Yeah she's in the other room playing with Haley." She looked at Harry riveted to the spot, "Come in."

Harry walked into the Captain's Quarters and saw all sorts of toys strewn all over the floor. Taya was sitting in the corner holding a stuffed animal and playing with a puzzle. *Leave it to Kathryn Janeway to get the kids educational toys, I hope Jennica's as good a mother as Kathryn obviously is.*

Harry shook his head, *Jennica is the one you love, not Kathryn.*

Harry turned to the Captain, "Uh...Captain, is Jennica really busy right now?"

"She's just playing with one of the kids, getting in some practice."

Harry nodded, "Okay, can you tell her I'll see her later: I gotta go and talk to Tom."

Kathryn looked at Harry strangely, "Okay Ensign, see you later."

Harry nodded uncomfortably and backed out of the Captain's Quarters.

Kathryn turned to her husband, "That was weird."

"What did Harry want?"

"He said he was looking for Jennica, and then he left before he even saw her, and he was in a most unfortunate situation."

Chakotay stared at her, "You mean?"

Kathryn nodded, "He saw me and he got a little flustered and then –"

"You think?"

Kathryn shrugged, "I have no idea."

Kathryn walked into her bedroom to finish feeding Hannah.

[2030 – Paris Quarters]

Harry stood outside the door and rang the chime. Tom answered and looked at Harry with loathing. "What do you want?"

"I uh, I just wanted to apologize for everything that has happened over the past few months."

"Listen Harry I can't believe you did that to my –" Tom scrunched up his nose. "Were you just with her?"

"Uh, no: It was just me."

Tom raised an eyebrow, "Oh really."

"Yeah I had an unfortunate thing happen in the Captain's Quarters when I went to see Jennica. She was playing with one of the Janeway kids."

Tom laughed, "You have a crush on Janeway?"

"I wouldn't call it a crush, more like an involuntary reaction."

Tom snorted, "Is that what they call it nowadays."

"Oh like you're one to talk, Jennica is here because you laid her."

"Yeah, when we were teenagers."

He glared at Tom, "Yeah like that makes it any better."

"Okay Harry, it's the power thing and she's always had it."

"You'd know."

He smiled, "Unfortunately I would. Okay let's just let it go: I'm sorry I was so hard on you earlier, but she was my first born and you: you were my best friend."

Harry looked at Tom, "She's a grown woman Tom."

"I know Harry, it's just hard to imagine her doing that."

"Kids grow up Tom."

He glared at his best friend, "I'll remember you saying that when your son is 16."

Tom pointed the way to the table and got them both a beer. "Let's just sit and talk it's been too long Harry."

They sat down at the table and Tom brought out a deck of cards. They played gin for an hour until they heard cries from the master bedroom. Tom went running to his wife's side. "I knew the memory wipe was a bad idea."

He sat down on her bed and moved the hair from her face, "Its okay B'E. Everything is going to be okay. Shhh, I'll be here for you when you wake up and when you need help." He kissed her temple, "I'll always be there for you."

Harry walked to the doorway of their bedroom hoping that B'Elanna was okay. He saw Tom lovingly speaking to B'Elanna, and thinking that he hoped that he would be as good a husband as his best friend was.

He whispered, "Tom, I'm gonna go now, thanks for the beer I'll talk to you soon."

Tom nodded and picked B'Elanna up to set her on his lap. Her scared eye opened and he saw fear there.

"I'll always be there for you B'Elanna."

"Why is this happening?" She cried, "Why don't I remember it?"

Tom shook his head, "Everything will be fine, you'll see."

To be continued in 7. The Future of Us All


	7. Chapter 7

Jennica's Story

7\. The Future of Us All

J/C

Rated MA

June 2009

By: AW

Length: 1,802 words

Summary: Kathryn informs Jennica and Harry of the problems, and Tom decides it's not their decision.

Disclaimer: blah blah blah, I DON'T OWN THEM

Tom rubbed B'Elanna's head and finally watched as she fell into a deep sleep. He ran a hand over her belly and felt a kick from inside and realized truly, for the first time that this was his 'grandchild' that she was carrying.

Tom sighed and walked out to the living room. He hit his combadge, "Tom to the doctor."

"Yes Mr. Paris. What's wrong?"

"We have a problem with B'Elanna."

In sickbay the doctor was going over cell samples from an ensign. "What do you mean that you have a problem with B'Elanna?"

Tom sighed, "She's remembering doctor: The memories, she's remembering everything; and we have to stop it."

"There is no danger to the foetus I don't think. I think that Jennica's baby is fine."

"I don't care about Jennica's baby at the moment doctor, I know that's my grandson, but this is my wife."

The doctor paused, "Tom, she's the one who decided that she would carry this baby."

"And we're the ones who decided to wipe her memory rather than let her deal with it on her own."

"There was no time Mr. Paris, unless you wanted a complete stranger to carry your grandbaby."

Tom was yelling at the E.M.H., "I don't care right now all I want is my wife happy and healthy again." He looked over to where B'Elanna was lying in the bed in the next room and watched her begin to convulse. "Oh my god doctor, she's going into convulsions!"

"Doctor to transporter room 2, emergency transport: Lieutenant Torres to sickbay."

"Yes Sir."

The doctor watched as B'Elanna materialized on the sickbay biobed. "Mr. Paris, I need you to come to sickbay and help me out."

"Yes, Doctor, I'm already on my way."

Tom ran out of his quarters waiting for Jennica to come and take care of the children. "Jenn, take care of the children for me for a bit, I gotta go to sickbay the doctor needs me." He refused to tell Jennica that her son's life was in danger.

"Sure dad, did the doctor say how long you were going to be needed?"

"No and I already informed the Captain that you might not be on duty today."

"Thanks dad." And Tom ran, he needed to be by his wife.

Tom ran into sickbay and saw B'Elanna laying down quietly on the bed, at least her seizures had stopped, at least that was one good thing that was working in her favour.

"Mr. Paris, I know you have children to take care of but your wife and your grandson's lives were in danger."

"Doctor, we can't just keep repressing these memories."

"We may not have a choice if you want your grandson to come in good health."

Tom smacked the bed, "I don't care, I need my wife to survive and to be healthy. I can't live without her."

"I understand Tom, but you have to let the parents know: They have to be a part of this process."

He shook his head, "They can't be a part of this doctor, I'm B'Elanna's next of kin. I have the power to make these decisions: not Harry and not Jennica."

"But this is their child she's carrying."

"I don't care, I'm not going to lose my wife over a child that was created out of a night of indecision and indiscretion." Tom felt like that day all those years ago when Kathryn had told him she was pregnant. If something had been wrong with Kathryn and she had not been able to carry the baby without putting her life at risk, he was sure that Admiral Janeway would have put his foot down.

"I can't lose her doctor."

[Bridge]

Kathryn sat in her ready room and stared at the monitor: there was a report from the doctor. B'Elanna was in the hospital. Her grandson was in danger.

Tom wanted to abort.

Kathryn couldn't make that decision nor did she have the right.

"Janeway to Paris, does Jennica know?"

She felt the hesitation on the line. "Oh Tom please tell me that Jennica and Harry know."

"I can't tell them Kat, they'll insist on me trying to keep both the baby and B'Elanna healthy and the doctor and I have determined that that's not possible."

"Tom they're the parents they have to know."

"And I'm B'Elanna's husband and the decision is ultimately mine."

Kathryn sighed, "So why did you tell me if you didn't want them to know?"

Tom stammered, "You're the Captain you have a right to know."

"That's bullshit Tom, if you want me to soothe your guilty conscious I can't help you."

"Paris out."

Kathryn had to talk to Chakotay. "Janeway to Chakotay."

"What is it Kathryn? Your kids are being really difficult and I'm not due on the bridge for another hour."

"I talked to Sam she'll be right there, I need to see you in the ready room a.s.a.p."

"I'll be right there."

Ten minutes later, Chakotay walked into the ready room. "What was so important that you had to see me right away?"

"Tom wants to abort Jennica's baby."

Chakotay looked confused, "Why?"

"B'Elanna's in trouble. Tom is beside himself, he doesn't want to lose B'Elanna."

"But Kathryn, she's only five months pregnant: that baby won't survive."

"I realize that Chakotay, but Tom refuses to tell the parents."

Chakotay sighed, "Does he have the right to abort?"

"By law, he's the next of kin to B'Elanna Torres, and he can make those medical decisions."

"It's not right Kathryn, and you know it. Harry and Jennica have to know."

He looked at his wife who looked beside herself with fear and concern for the baby and for her Chief Engineer. He tilted her head up to look at him straight in the eyes. "You'll make the right decision Kathryn, you always do."

"I wish I had as much faith in me and my decisions as you do."

"You should we all do." He bent down and gave her a kiss.

Kathryn looked at Chakotay and nodded; she tapped her combadge. "Janeway to Jennica."

"Yes mom?"

"What are you doing right now?"

"I'm taking care of the Paris brood."

"Okay can you take them down to my quarters, and ask if Sam will take them too? I need to talk to you immediately."

"Okay mom, are you sure she'll be okay with all five kids?"

Kathryn smiled, "She has Naomi with her to help her out."

"Alright mom, I'll be there as soon as I get them to your quarters."

[15 minutes later – Ready Room]

Kathryn heard the door chime sound, and said "Come." She knew who it was.

Jennica walked into the ready room and saw her mother sitting behind her desk, looking none too happy. "Mom, what's wrong?"

"When was the last time you spoke with your father?"

"When I took the children this morning, he said there was an emergency in sickbay." She looked confused at her mother, "Is everything okay?"

Kathryn sighed, "What did Tom tell you about who was in sickbay?"

"Nothing all he said was the doctor needed him immediately –"

There was a minute when she stared at her mother, "What is it mom?"

"I think you should go down to sickbay and see your father right away."

Jennica nodded and was about to leave when she turned around and looked at her mother, "Do I need to bring Harry with me?"

Kathryn gave her daughter a sad smile, "It might not be a bad idea Jennica."

Jennica nodded, "Okay thanks mom."

Kathryn shook her head and headed out to the bridge and watched Jennica and Harry leave and head for sickbay.

At first Kathryn had not been fond of the fact that Jennica and Harry were together. In fact she did not like the fact that Jennica was with anyone, but she had soon discovered that Jennica was not a little kid anymore and despite the years that she had lost to the Borg, she was still an adult.

And Kathryn knew she had never really been her mother.

[Sickbay]

Tom watched as his best friend and his daughter walked into sickbay. "Hello, is something wrong?"

Harry stared at the scene before him, he hadn't really seen B'Elanna in a couple of weeks and he realized that she was getting big with his child. Jennica stared at B'Elanna, "Dad, that's our baby in there."

"And that's my wife suffering on the biobed."

"You have no right to decide our fate; B'Elanna knew what she was getting into when she decided to carry our child."

Tom was angry, "You can have other children, I can't have another B'Elanna." He had tears streaming down his cheeks.

The doctor came out of his office, "Oh, dear. You two need to stay out of this."

Harry piped in, "The hell I will this is my son."

Tom stepped up to his best friend menacingly, "I will not risk B'Elanna for a child that was never alive."

Jennica looked at her dad, "It wasn't your decision, it was your wife's and she made it."

The doctor stared at the scene before him, "This animosity isn't doing anyone any good."

They turned around at the sound of B'Elanna's muffled words. "What the hell is going on?"

Tom rushed over to her side, "B'Elanna? Thank god."

"What happened?"

He smiled, "Nothing you're fine now."

"Is the baby okay?"

The doctor sighed, "For now."

"But?"

"But I'm not sure for how long. These seizures are taking their toll on B'Elanna's body, and it's not good for the child."

Tom walked up to the doctor, "I can't lose her."

The doctor sighed. "Doctor to Captain Janeway, could you please report to sickbay."

"I'll be right there doctor."

[Ready Room]

Kathryn turned around and stared at her husband. "Chakotay, did I do the right thing by telling Jennica and Harry that their baby could be in danger?"

"I don't know what else you could have done being you."

Kathryn looked at him confused, "Being me?"

"The way you are you hold all life at its highest regard and that wasn't Tom's decision to make even if legally it was."

"Is this the gray area you're always talking about?"

Chakotay nodded, "Let's go to sickbay and see what's going on with our daughter."

Kathryn nodded and they made their way out of the ready room to meet their future, and that of their eldest daughter.

To be continued in 8. Difficult Decisions


	8. Chapter 8

Jennica's Story

8\. Difficult Decisions

Pairing: J/C, P/T, K/7

Rated MA

June 2009

By: AW

Length: 1,806 words

Summary: Directly after 'The Future of Us All', Kathryn makes the final decision, and hard feelings are thrown all around.

Disclaimer: blah blah blah, I DON'T OWN THEM

Kathryn and Chakotay walked into their quarters and looked around. Sam was nodding off on the couch as Kathryn went to Hannah's crib and picked her up. The child was staring at her through sombre brown eyes so much like her father's.

"I don't know what to do honey. Your dad and your sister's father want to get rid of that child. In my heart of hearts I know as the Captain of Voyager, I need B'Elanna as my chief engineer."

Kathryn sighed and clasped the baby to her breast. She looked down at the nursing child, "Could I take the joy of motherhood away from my daughter? I love you all so much, and I want her to experience the joy of motherhood too."

Kathryn finished nursing the baby and put her nodding baby back in her crib to sleep for the night.

Once she was sure that all her children were asleep and dreaming of suger plum fairies and happy places she went over to the couch and patted Sam on the shoulder. "Thanks Sam, you can go now."

Sam nodded, "No problem Captain." She woke Naomi up and took her home.

Kathryn walked up to Chakotay who had been in the other room checking on the Paris children. "Chakotay we have to figure this out."

Chakotay looked at his wife, "Figure what out? This isn't our fight Kathryn."

"I'm the Captain."

"Yes I know, but that has nothing to do with –"

"I need my chief engineer and I can't run this ship without her: It's not an option."

He shook his head, "Kathryn it's not your decision to make."

"As Captain of this ship when it interferes with ship's operations, I have to make it my business and my decision."

Chakotay shook his head, "You're going to force her to abort aren't you?"

Kathryn silently nodded and let a stray tear escape her completely intact facade. "Don't think this isn't painful for me, that is my grandson B'Elanna is carrying."

Chakotay nodded, "I know."

For a moment Chakotay realized that his wife had to make decisions that were in the best interest of the crew and no matter what, he knew 99% of the time her decisions were correct. "I'm sorry Kathryn."

She looked at him, "I know."

[Sickbay]

Tom stayed by his wife's bedside: praying that she would be okay. "Listen to me Lanna, I need you to be okay. I need you to survive this." He felt the tears rolling down his cheeks, "No matter what don't hate me for the decisions that I make."

Tom heard the voice of his Captain over the com. line. "Janeway to Paris."

"Paris here Captain."

"Can you come and meet the Commander and myself in the ready room as soon as possible please?"

Tom sighed and looked at the doctor who nodded telling him he could leave for a few moments. "I'll be right there Captain."

"Thank you Lieutenant."

Kathryn turned to Chakotay, "Are we doing the right thing?"

"As Captain I think you're doing the only thing you can do."

Twenty minutes later Tom walked into the ready room. "Tom."

"Captain, Commander."

Kathryn sighed, "I need you to know that the decision I made, was one I made as the Captain and not as Kathryn."

Tom nodded, knowing as Captain of this ship the decision she made was final. "So what did you decide Captain."

"That baby cannot risk the life of my chief engineer, I need her too much to get this crew home."

Tom nodded, "You've decided to force her to abort haven't you?"

"I have to Tom. I can't run this ship without my chief engineer."

"What about Jennica?"

"She is really important to me, but I can't let family overrule the ship's business."

Tom stared at Jennica's mother, "I don't envy you your job Kat."

She gave him a crooked half smile, "Some days neither do I."

[Sickbay]

Chakotay walked into sickbay and stared at B'Elanna, she looked like she was sleeping.

He and Kathryn and spoken of what had to be done, but he to speak to B'Elanna: she had been his best friend for too long. He touched her face and realized no matter what she would always be his best friend.

She had taken it upon herself to try and carry his grandson to term.

For that he would be forever grateful.

Finally she woke up and Chakotay stared at her and three words came out of his mouth, "Thank You B'Elanna."

B'Elanna smiled at him and then her eyes rolled back in her head and convulsions started again. Chakotay yelled out to the doctor, "Doctor, she's seizing again."

The doctor ran out of the room, and placed a hypospray to her neck. The seizing stopped almost immediately and as she hit the biobed for the last time, he water broke.

Chakotay hit his combadge, "Chakotay to Janeway."

"Yes Commander, what can I do for you."

"Can you get down to sickbay now and bring Tom with you."

Kathryn stared at Tom, this was the call they never wished to get. "We'll be right there Chakotay."

"Why didn't you ask him why we were supposed to go to sickbay?"

"We don't have time Tom, he sounded rushed, and scared."

Tom nodded and they walked out of the ready room and towards the disaster - that was no doubt sickbay - happening at that moment.

[Sickbay]

Chakotay stared at B'Elanna's lifeless body. "Doctor what is wrong with her?"

I have checked and the hypertension that she experienced caused preeclampsia. She will lose this baby: I suggest that you call Harry and Jennica to sickbay so they can say goodbye to their son."

Chakotay looked at the doctor, "So that's it: It's over."

The doctor nodded solemnly, and hit his combadge. "Chakotay to Harry."

"Kim here."

"Do you know where Jennica is? I think that you two should come to sickbay immediately, there has been an emergency concerning your child."

Jennica covered her mouth with her hands, "Harry we haven't even talked about a name for our baby."

"We can always try for another baby."

She stared at Harry, "This one wasn't even planned. I never wanted to be a mother, in fact until about a year ago: I didn't even know that it was possible for me to think about being a mother."

Harry looked at her, and realized what he had fallen in love with all those months ago. "I still love you Jennica, and I still want to marry you."

Jennica laughed sardonically, "Harry you don't even know what you want."

Harry took Jennica's hand, "We have to get to sickbay and I do know what I want. I want you."

Jennica laughed, "Yeah right, I couldn't even manage to carry our child to term."

Harry approached Jennica and let his lips descend upon hers. She looked at him through clear blue eyes brimming with tears. "We need to get to sickbay."

Harry nodded and took her hand and headed with her towards sickbay.

[Sickbay]

Kathryn and Tom were standing by B'Elanna's bed. She looked pale, sick: nearing death and they both worried that if something wasn't done soon, there could be nothing they could do for her. "Doctor?"

"I would really like to wait until Harry and Jennica get here before I do anything that would jeopardize the life of the child."

Kathryn stared at the doctor about to countermand his decision when the parents of the child that would never know life walked through the doors.

"Mom, Dad, Chakotay...what's going on?"

"B'Elanna is dying. She has a severe case of preeclampsia, and she can't carry that baby for much longer."

Jennica let the tears fall down her pale ivory complection. "That is my son she's carrying."

Tom approached her, "And that is my wife whose carrying him. I can't lose her."

"And I don't want to lose my son." Harry responded.

Kathryn shook her head, "I'm the Captain and I can't lose my chief engineer: not if I'm going to get this crew home. If you don't make the decision I will."

Chakotay watched the scene unfolding before him. He had to give his wife credit, she never folded: and sometimes that was her undoing.

Harry looked at B'Elanna lying back on the bed, looking sick and tired and knew that Tom and Kathryn were right. "We can't lose B'Elanna: We need her to get home."

B'Elanna's eyes opened briefly, she looked at Harry. "Damn straight Starfleet."

Tom rushed up to his wife. "Hold on B'Elanna, we'll take care of you."

She had tears in her eyes as she looked up at Tom, "I know you will Tom, and I'm sorry I couldn't manage to carry your grandson."

"Hey it's okay, no one blames you."

She shook her head, "You're going to abort the baby aren't you? I don't want Jennica and Harry to think of me as the failure who could not help them through a bad situation."

Kathryn interrupted, "No, I'm making the decision to abort the baby; it's my prerogative as Captain no one else is to blame but me. I need my Chief Engineer."

Kathryn glared at Tom and at Harry and her daughter, trying to get across the point that there was to be no hard feelings towards anyone. "Is that an order Captain, are you ordering us not to feel hostility towards each other?"

Jennica glared at her mother, "Well mom."

"Yes, that's an order."

Jennica just looked at her mother, shaking her head. "You can't order somebody to get rid of an emotion or to get rid of resentment."

"Well I am, and you're going to listen."

Jennica turned around and walked out of sickbay.

Harry stepped up, "I think that this time Captain, there are going to be some hard feelings towards you as well."

"That's enough Ensign."

Kathryn emphasized the rank and Harry bowed his head and shook it. "I'm sorry Captain but this time I can't comply." And he followed Jennica out of sickbay.

Chakotay came up from behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. "You made the decision you had to Kathryn."

"Then why does it feel so wrong?"

She turned to the doctor, "Doctor, can you start the process? You have my authorization to do anything that you deem necessary to save Lieutenant Toress' life."

The doctor nodded and Kathryn walked out of sickbay with Chakotay following close behind. As he was about to leave sickbay he was stopped by Tom's voice. "Chakotay: Thanks."

Chakotay glared at Tom and left sickbay.

To be continued in 9. New Transitions


	9. Chapter 9

Jennica's Story

9\. New Transitions

J/C

Rated MA

June 2009

By: AW

Length: 6,696 words

Summary: 10 Days after 'Difficult Decisions'. Voyager meets the Haazari and the 'Think Tank'.

Disclaimer: blah blah blah, I DON'T OWN THEM

[10 Days after part 8. Difficult Decisions]

Kathryn sat in her ready room thinking about what had happened to her and her crew over the past two weeks.

She had been forced to make a decision for her daughter as a captain, a choice that no one should ever have to make.

B'Elanna was still in sickbay, slowly getting better.

Jennica wouldn't talk to her and neither would Harry outside of the area of Captain and Ensign, or Captain and crewman.

Her heart broke every time Jennica called her Captain instead of mom off duty.

Kathryn bowed her head, and remembered,

She needs a transfusion Captain, she's just lost too much blood.

Are there any matches in the crew?

The doctor refused to look at her, "Just one."

"So who is it?"

"Jennica."

It had been at that moment that she had really been forced to take the Captain to the next level. Asking her daughter to donate blood-plasma, to save a woman who was dying because she had miscarried Jennica's baby.

And then came the explosion:

"Jennica she needs help, she tried to help you."

"Then why are you the one coming and asking me? Dad afraid to come?"

"That's not fair Jennica, she's his wife."

"And that was my baby." She paused turning around so her back was facing her mother, "My one chance at true happiness."

"You and Harry can still live full happy lives together."

"You and Chakotay have three kids, you're the top two officers on this ship, and everything is going well for you. What right do you have to say we'll be happy without these things?"

She remembered being unsure of what to say to that. In all honesty she couldn't picture her life without her children: all of them.

She was lost in thought and she decided there was not much sense thinking about it anymore. It was beyond her control, and beyond her reason.

She walked up to her desk and took out the game that Tom had introduced to the crew recently. She had spent hours, and was damned if she was going to let it beat her.

Forty-five minutes later, Kathryn heard the chime to her door ring.

"Yes."

Seven walked in, she refused to be called Jennica by her mother any longer. "Captain, long-range scans have detected -"

She ignored Seven's yammering. She would not give her daughter the satisfaction of seeing her in pain. "One second. I've wasted two hours on this thing and I'm no closer to solving it."

"You can thank Ensign Paris for introducing the artefact to the ship." *Ensign Paris, she won't even call him dad.*

She looked up at the woman who's 'blonde' perfection - aside from the hair colour – mirrored her own. "He was behind the last ship-wide craze, too. Yo-yos. Now it's Sheer Lunacy. Another hour and I'll go insane."

"The solution is quite simple. If you align –"

"No, I want to figure this out myself." Kathryn pushed a couple of more buttons, hoping it would give her the answer and she could prove for once to this former Borg Drone that she was worthy of being in the Captain's seat.

The 'game' made a funny noise and Kathryn looked up at her daughter, "You said something about long range scans?"

"They've revealed a planetoid with high concentrations of dilithium crystals."

"Let's take a look."

She got up from her place behind her desk and gave the 'toy' one more smack before proceeding to the bridge.

Harry looked at Kathryn coming out of the ready room, "Captain on the bridge."

Kathryn glared at Harry. "On screen."

There were pools of dilithium according to their sensors just below the planet's crust. Kathryn looked at the scans, there was something odd about it though, not quite right.

Jennica quickly moved to her station and scanned, seeing the same thing the Captain did. "The planetoid is destabilising."

Chakotay realized they were going to be right in the line of fire of the gas clouds, "Shields!"

Janeway stood up from her seat, "Report."

Chakotay answered not sounding too happy, "We're trapped in a cloud of metreon gas. It's collapsed our warp field and knocked the impulse engines offline."

Tuvok interrupted the banter, "A heavily armed vessel just dropped out of warp off the port bow."

Seven stared at the vessel and Kathryn knew that she knew who they were. "Captain, I recognise it. It's Hazari, species four-two-two-eight: Technologically advanced, extremely violent. They make excellent tactical drones."

Kathryn looked at her daughter, knowing that she had knowledge in her head that most of the crew would never even know or need, "What do they want with us?"

"They're bounty hunters. They're hired to capture and deliver alien vessels."

Harry asked from the ops deck, "So who hired them?"

Chakotay answered, "The Malon, the Devore. We've made our share of enemies here."

Finally Harry gave them contact, "They're hailing."

A mean looking alien showed himself on the viewscreen and demanded right away, "Surrender. No one need be hurt. My client would prefer your vessel intact."

Kathryn, always the Captain answered, "Who hired you?"

"That's not your concern."

"I'm only asking because I'm curious how much they're paying. Maybe we can do better."

"Doubtful "

The banter between the two leaders went on for a few minutes when finally Kathryn pulled her trump card: "Charge phaser banks to full power."

Y'sek answered from the viewscreen, "Fire and you'll ignite the gas cloud. You'll be destroyed."

Kathryn got a smug look on her face, "You've left me no choice. I suggest you back off if you want to save your own ship. End transmission."

Tuvok the voice of reason when the Captain didn't know when to stop spoke, "They are moving closer. They've locked on a tractor beam."

Tom spun around from the helm, "Looks like they're calling your bluff, Captain." He saw Kathryn's determined face and got a bad feeling, "It was a bluff, wasn't it?"

Kathryn spoke of their shields, and forcing them to hold. She asked Seven if they still had warp power: At the affirmative, a plan started to form. Tuvok shook his head and as the gas cloud approached them, he stated: "Shields are holding. We're approaching the perimeter of the gas cloud."

Finally Kathryn heard a sigh of relief from the con. "We're out."

"Warp speed."

Tuvok, shocked every time that Captain Janeway got them out of a seemingly impossible situation agreed with Paris and the rest of the bridge crew, "No sign of pursuit."

Kathryn looked suspiciously at the screen then turned to Chakotay, "They weren't that heavily damaged. Why aren't they following us?"

At his shrug, he made his way to the ready room following her.

Five minutes later, Sam Wildman came in with baby Hannah. She clasped the baby to her breast and turned to Chakotay, "I'm going to have to get her on a bottle soon. I can't just stop every time she needs to be fed."

Chakotay nodded, "I know Kathryn, she is six months old. I think that you're right."

Kathryn smiled, "This is the last one Chakotay. This is the last time that I will ever feed a child from my body. This is it. My child rearing days are over."

Chakotay laughed, "No doubt, but you know you're happy about it."

"Yes I'll be happy when breastfeeding is over. Won't put Sam through hell every time that Hannah needs to be fed."

Chakotay smiled, "I'm sorry that you have to deal with this Kathryn, but it's almost over."

Kathryn had spent hours trying to figure out how the hell she was going to get the ship out of this one. Every time there was a possible way out, Kathryn found the loophole. The way that they would get Voyager no matter what.

She sat in the mess hall going over padd. after padd., there had to be a way.

Kathryn heard the com line open. "Kathryn I can picture you sitting there with cup after empty cup of coffee. The doctor wants to know if he should prepare a hypospray?"

Kathryn shook her head, "Excuse me?"

Chakotay laughed at Kathryn's response, "So you can absorb the caffeine more directly. Save time."

"Point well taken. I'll make this my last cup and I'll be home soon."

Kathryn was leaning against the wall, stretching her back. She loved her time alone in the mess hall. It was so quiet at this time of night.

She spun around at the sound of another's voice. "There is nothing like a good problem to spark the synapses, is there? To open the mind to new possibilities, new ways of seeing things. Of course, one must always confront self doubt and fear, but that is a small price to pay for the exhilaration of finding the perfect solution."

"Who are you and what do you want?"

"You have a problem, Captain. I am the solution."

Kathryn stared at him and slapped her combadge. "Security to the Mess hall. Intruder alert."

The alien looked at her smugly, "I deactivated your communications device, Captain, but do not worry. I am not an intruder. In fact, I am not really here."

"A hologram."

Kurros looked at her as if she were an insect trapped in a flytrap, nothing important and nothing woprth worrying about. "Nothing so crude: An isomorphic projection." He picked up her cup of unfinished coffee and smelled it and then took a gulp. "You actually enjoy this?"

"It's an acquired taste."

He smiled, "It bears a resemblance to an Alkian confection we acquired several years ago."

"We?"

Here came the truth, and everything was becoming clear as Kathryn listened to him tell his tale. "I am a member of a small group. Explorers like you, but we seek out challenges. Problems to be solved technological, biological, social, even artistic."

"A Think tank."

Kurros looked at her puzzled, "I like that, it's very apt. Our Think Tank is nearby. A modest vessel. I have come to offer our help with your Hazari paradox."

Kathryn let out a little laugh, "Paradox?"

"That is right. Is it an escape route or is it a trap? Do they know that you know that they know? It is the best kind of puzzle: Pure tactics, psychology."

"Something tells me your help comes with a price tag."

"Whatever your culture has to offer that is unique. Technology perhaps, or maybe something you would not even think to value. I would need a closer look at your database."

Kathryn looked at him suspiciously, "And how do I know you aren't an Hazari trap? Maybe they're trying to lure us into an ambush like before."

"You are wise to be suspicious, Captain. We have done some preliminary analysis on their manoeuvres. It does suggest some more likely ambushes. I've downloaded the data onto your computer."

He handed her a pad with the co-ordinates to meet him 'face to face'. Then he looked at her, so sure of himself. "Then I look forward to meeting you in person."

Kathryn nodded and made her way to the ready room.

She thought about the many things that had happened to her in the past 2 years with Jennica's re-emergence in her life.

Then she thought about the past 4 years and the arrival of her first baby and then the two after them.

She ran her hand over her stomach, she still looked good for a woman who was just over 40 with three kids – four if you counted Jennica – and who was under constant stress at all hours of the day.

Jennica

That was one subject she'd have to deal with sooner or later.

At the moment though the immediate concern was the 'Think Tank'

She was roused from her stupor and thoughts of the past, present and future by a chime at the door.

She sighed, "Come in."

Tuvok appeared, this she had not expected, her husband perhaps, or even her daughter, but Tuvok only came if there was a big problem. "You have a visitor. Mister Kurros has returned in isomorphic form."

"Send him in." She watched as Kurros appeared, "Welcome back."

"Captain, we have compiled a short list of items we would like. It was not easy. Voyager has a great deal to offer."

Kathryn slowly looked over the list of stuff that Kurros was requesting. "Quantum slipstream technology. I should warn you. We never got that to work reliably."

"It is still intriguing, theoretically." *Yeah that's what we thought too until it blew up in our faces.*

"Neelix's recipe for chadre'kab?" Kathryn almost laughed at that. Neelix would be pleased that his food made the list.

"Yes."

"An ancient Olmec figurine: I guess Commander Chakotay can be persuaded to part with it." *Or I can just borrow it from the shelf in our room.*

"I am pleased to hear that."

Kathryn saw the next item and her jaw dropped open. They wanted Jennica. They couldn't have her, she had just gotten her back. She looked at him shaking her head. "You can't be serious."

"I realise the next item may seem unorthodox, but I believe it can be beneficial to both of us."

"You never mentioned anything about bartering my crew members."

He smiled at her with teeth that left something to be desired showing through his mouth. "She will have an extraordinary opportunity to explore the galaxy as one of us."

"I'm afraid the answer is no." She had to keep the family together even if they didn't want to be with her.

"I understand your feelings, Captain," *Oh no you don't, you don't have any idea. "But have you thought to ask Seven of Nine herself?"

Kurros left and Kathryn picked up a china mug off the edge of the counter and threw it against the wall.

She almost hyperventilated as she tried to breath through her anxiety. She took in three deep breaths, trying to calm herself and reached her hand up to her combadge. "Janeway to Chakotay."

"Chakotay here Captain, what can I do for you?"

"Could you please come to my ready room. I need to speak with you."

"Acknowledged, I'll be right there."

Five minutes later, Chakotay had walked into her ready room, looking wary at having been summoned into the ready room halfway through the shift. "Yes Captain."

"Kurros wants Jennica."

Chakotay shook his head, "Okay Kat, start at the beginning, what the hell are you talking about."

She drew in a deep breath. "Kurros: the alien from the think tank, he wants Jennica, or Seven to him."

"What do you mean he wants her?"

"I mean that that is what he wants her in payment for the answer to our little Hazari trap." Kathryn began to cry, and Chakotay walked up to her and engulfed her in a hug.

"It'll be okay honey, I promise we'll figure this out."

An hour later Kathryn was relatively calm and had summoned Jennica to the ready room.

She stared at Jennica. "Do you understand what he's asking? He wants to take you away from everything. Me, your father, Chakotay...Harry. The possibility of a life outside of your Borg Identity."

"Okay mom, so what do you want me to do?"

"I want your opinion. You're not a baby anymore, you can make your own decisions."

Jennica stared at her mom, "Honestly, if I'm what they want to save the crew: I can't really say no."

"There is no solution. What's at stake here is your future: Your happiness."

"The issue is Voyager's survival."

Kathryn stared at her daughter. She approached her and told her, hoping for once Jennica would listen to her mother. "Sit. Please." Jennica had a seat and Kathryn looked at her more as the Captain than as her mother, "While I still question this Think Tank's way of doing things, there is a genuine opportunity for exploration. It could be the chance of a lifetime."

This was killing her but she had to make Jennica see that this was a possible option. She had to make her see that maybe this was what she needed to do.

Jennica was taken aback by those words and stared at her, "I knew you never wanted me around. All I was doing was messing up your perfect little family.

Chakotay never accepted me as his daughter: I know. You're telling me to go, then maybe I will; and you'll have your perfect little family without the bastard child that you never really wanted."

"You don't understand baby. I don't want you to go, but it's not my right to tell you what to do anymore. Until now – when I finally got you back from the Borg - I've kept a close eye on your progress, helped you with decisions but, I think you've learned enough as an individual to make this decision yourself. Would you like to join them?"

Jennica shook her head as tears fell down her cheeks. "I can't. I love Harry too much to leave him like this. I need to see that through."

Kathryn couldn't help but think that she had been about Jennica's age when she had found Chakotay for the first time, and it has taken her twenty years to realize that love. She wasn't sure that she could do that to her daughter, no matter what the danger was to Voyager.

"Mom, I appreciate the trust you're putting in me, but you need to make the decision for Voyager, not me."

This was killing her but she had to say it, she had to give her daughter the choice: and kids eventually grew up. "You've earned it. And remember, if you do choose to go make sure it's what you want, not what you think is best for Voyager. We're getting out of this, with or without the Think Tank's help."

[Bridge]

Jennica walked back onto the bridge. She had gone to see them and told them no. "I said no mom. I don't want to be with them I want to be with Voyager."

Kurros appeared, "You refused our first offer, there will be more."

"She said no Kurros: Please leave my bridge."

"You are making a fatal mistake. We have already analysed hundreds of scenarios. Voyager will not survive without our help."

Kathryn glared at the think tank representative. "Your scenarios, not mine."

"Your confidence is unfounded, Captain. Reconsider. Order Seven of Nine to join us.

"No, I won't do that, it was her decision."

"Captain, we will get Seven of Nine one way or another."

"We have an old expression, Kurros. Don't call us, we'll call you. Re-modulate the shields to a phase variant frequency."

Tuvok looked at his Captain, she was acting illogical. "His ship is vanishing from sensors. It's being absorbed into subspace."

Chakotay had to back his wife up no matter what, "I get the distinct feeling they won't take no for an answer."

She sighed, "Same here. Looks like we're facing two threats now. The Hazari and our would-be saviours."

[0300 – Ready Room]

Kathryn had sent Alpha shift home many hours ago, including her husband, but she needed to find an answer. She couldn't let Jennica leave her.

Finally sleep found her on the couch of her ready room and she awoke, not in the comfortable area of her ready room but aboard the ship with the 'Think Tank'. "Why have you brought me here? I'm not the one you want."

"Our friend here, he was in complete contact with Seven of Nine, or should I say Jennica."

Kathryn's jaw dropped open. "You think that you can hide such things from us?"

Kathryn shook her head, "Apparently not."

"I know you want to give your husband the son that your daughter destroyed. I felt the guilt. I know that you want to help her have the child that she wants."

He looked at her. "I know all."

"And you know that I would willingly give myself up to save my crew."

He smiled a sly smile, "Yes, but would your daughter do the same thing and give you up?"

"My daughter would obey me as would the rest of the crew."

"Maybe so, but we've started as a motion of good will. You have been healed, we expect Seven of Nine with us by 1200 hours your time tomorrow, or we will destroy your son."

Kathryn shook her head. "I'm not pregnant."

"There is a solution to any problem Captain, and we have found the solution to yours."

[0500 – Janeway Quarters]

Kathryn woke up around 5am in her bed, next to her husband. She sat bolt upright. "Chakotay, wake up."

Chakotay grumbled something unintelligible and rolled over. "Chakotay!"

He still wouldn't move, "Commander."

The steel of the command voice coming out in full force. Chakotay woke up and was out of bed so fast. "I have to go and check something out and I might have to explain something to you a little later. First though, I'd like you to organize a meeting for me with the leaders of the Hazari and our senior staff at 0900."

Kathryn got out of bed and got dressed, she looked herself in the mirror and saw nothing different.

*How could she be pregnant? The doctor had taken out her uterus more than 6 months ago.* She shrugged her shoulders and decided not to sweat an impossible comment by a little man.

She sauntered over to the bridge and checked to see who was on. Poor Harry, she knew he liked being in command of the night shifts, but lately Chakotay had put him only on night shifts.

She shook her headed to the ready room.

She looked over the tactical scenarios that had been discovered by Alpha and Beta shift.

Everyone came to the same conclusion, they couldn't do anything and they couldn't get anywhere they were trapped: which meant that Jennica was their trump card.

It was 0700 when Kathryn headed back towards her quarters for breakfast. She walked into the quarters and saw Taya playing with a puzzle, Haley had gotten out of bed and was sitting with a sippy cup drinking some apple juice, which mean Hannah was still sleeping.

He went to the baby's room and looked at the perfect baby, sitting up happily cooing at Kathryn. "Hello, my little girl." She picked her up and felt a dry bottom, Chakotay must have been up and changed her already. She called out "Chakotay."

He came into the room, "Already been up have you?" Chakotay nodded and walked up behind her. "Kids seem happy enough, I think that we should take them for breakfast in the mess hall."

Chakotay nodded, "You do realize that for the most part these kids eat nothing but Neelix's food."

"Yeah, we're torturing them."

"Oh it's not that bad, Kathryn."

Kathryn stared at him, "I guess so, but come on. If had lived on this crap when I was small I'm not sure that I would have eaten every day."

Chakotay chuckled, "Well let's get going and see what he's made for breakfast."

They picked up all the children and made their way out of their quarters.

[Mess Hall – 0730]

Kathryn lifted a spoon to Haley's mouth, "Oh come on honey, one more bite."

Haley hit the spoon and oatmeal went all over the place. Chakotay laughed, "Okay Haley, eat for your mother."

Kathryn glared at Chakotay, "Hey how come now that the baby is being bottle fed you get her and I get the mess one?"

Chakotay laughed, "Hey you were the one who said you couldn't wait until Hannah was off the boob so I could feed her."

Kathryn raised an eyebrow at her husband. "This is still your issue once in a while."

She stood up, "Well Chakotay it is almost 0800 and we have to get these children to the nursery and get to the bridge."

Chakotay nodded, "Yes mommy."

Kathryn rolled her eyes, "Come on daddy, let's go."

[Bridge – 0900 hours]

Kathryn sat on the bridge and was holding the chair, making sure she didn't fall out of the chair as the Hazari fired at them. Kathryn turned to Chakotay, "Kurros told us that the Hazari always fire in pairs, fire at the supporting ship."

Tuvok looked at her, "Aye Captain."

Jennica answered, "No effect Captain."

"Janeway to transporter room one, can you get a lock on those Hazari?"

"Not yet Captain, there's still too much interference."

Kathryn got off her chair and went towards Harry's station. "Ensign, can you get a lock on them, cut through the interference using a quantum resonance scan."

Harry looked at the Captain, "There now I have a lock."

"Fire."

Tom stared at Harry and then at Kathryn, "Direct hit. The lead ship is breaking off."

"Can you cut through their shields and get a lock on those two Hazari."

"Yes, ma'am.

Harry locked onto the Hazari and transported them to the bridge. Kathryn pointed a phaser in their faces. "You're on my bridge now."

"Senior staff meeting 1000 hours." Kathryn stared at Chakotay, "Let's go to my ready room, we have to talk."

"Paris, you're in charge of the prisoners. Tuvok, help him out."

Tuvok nodded and Chakotay and Kathryn made their way to the ready room."

Kathryn got into the ready room and stared at Chakotay. "So what do you think of my act of terrorism so to speak?"

"Kathryn, that wasn't terrorism. How many times have I told you over the years that sometimes you have to go against Starfleet protocols to make things right, to have them work in our favour."

"I know but now that we have a marriage and children to look out for, the stakes are so much higher."

Chakotay shook his head, "You know my dear I have never heard you talk that way before."

"I guess I'm just realizing now how fragile life is, and how much I always had to lose."

Chakotay stared at his wife, "And if you back down now though you won't be the Kathryn Janeway we've all followed and loved throughout."

Kathryn nodded. She took Chakotay by the arm, "Chakotay..."

"Yes Kat?"

Kathryn laughed, "Never mind, it's not important."

[Hazari Vessel – 1000 hours]

Kathryn stood by the communications panel. "Any luck?"

Chakotay didn't look too sure, "I'm still trying to access their primary database."

"Let me guess. They're the strong but silent types."

Tuvok looked at Kathryn, there was something not right with her, but he held strong. "Very silent."

Chakotay piped up, "Did you try a mind meld?"

"Oh great idea Chakotay, mind melds don't solve everything."

Tuvok raised an eyebrow and said, "Without success. They're unusually resistant."

Kathryn laughed, "Well, hold off on the torture till we see what we can dig up here."

"I've found something. A series of encoded transmissions."

"They've been discussing Voyager. Our co-ordinates, our defences."

Tuvok looked at the command couple, "Whoever hired the Hazari know a lot about us."

Kathryn looked at everyone, checking over the sensor readings, "Check these sensor logs. See if they had any visitors recently."

"I've got some bioreadings, but they're pretty scrambled."

"If they are bioreadings, perhaps the Doctor can unscramble them."

Kathryn looked at Tuvok, then at Chakotay. This was their last chance, "Tell him to give it a try."

[Mess Hall – 1500 hours]

Kathryn had finally given B'Elanna permission to come to the mess hall and help them figure stuff out. She led her over by the arm, pulling out a chair and letting her sit down. The doctor had told Kathryn that B'Elanna would still not be at 100%, but she needed her there.

Her mind was no something that the crew could do without, especially not with the Hazari and the Think Tank threat.

Kathryn made sure that B'Elanna was settled and smiled at her before getting to the head of the table. "We've got a puzzle and we're not leaving this room until we solve it. The Think Tank is out there somewhere, hiding in subspace. How do we find them? And even if we can, their ship's hull is neutronium-based alloy, impervious to our weapons. How do we capture them?"

"What if we send out a multispatial probe?"

B'Elanna piped up and Kathryn knew that she had been right to break her out of Sickbay. "It would take weeks of scanning to find them."

The Hazari Y'sek answered "Weeks? We're not willing to wait that long."

Kathryn shook her head, "Maybe we're going about this the wrong way. A direct assault seems unlikely to succeed. Pure tactics, psychology, that's how they solve problems. That's what we have to do. They've created this paradox to manipulate us into giving them Seven of Nine. How do we manipulate them? Think."

Chakotay tried to support B'Elanna, "I thought we were onto something with B'Elanna's plan"

"Forget it. I was wrong."

"Let him talk."

The doctor piped up, "We're talking in circles."

Kathryn all of a sudden felt her head spinning. She shook her head and felt really warm all of a sudden.

Chakotay walked up to her, "You okay?"

Kathryn nodded and tried to keep herself standing, but then she lost consciousness. Chakotay rushed up to her, "Kathryn!"

Y'sek ignored the melodrama that was going on, he didn't have time for this, "Enough! Three hours, no progress. I should have contacted my ships by now."

Chakotay stared at Y'sek, "My wife is sick." He turned to Tuvok, "Get him off her ship."

Tuvok nodded and pulled Y'sek to the transporter room."

The doctor walked up to Kathryn and scanned her. His eyebrow furrowed. "This can't be."

"What what is wrong with my wife?"

"Please Commander, I need to get her to sickbay."

A blue ensign walked up an placed Kathryn on a stretcher. "He looked to Harry, "Harry, make sure you keep me informed of the Hazari threat." He turned and looked to Tom, "Get to sickbay and help the doctor."

Tom nodded and went off to sickbay. "I need to go and check on the kids, Tom I'll take care of your children tonight too."

"Tom nodded, thanks Chakotay."

Chakotay nodded, "No problem."

Chakotay walked to the ready room first, and went to get the reports. He had to get this Hazari threat taken care of now. Kathryn was in no condition to make any of this happen at the moment.

Chakotay picked up the reports and went to his quarters to go get the children set up and to make sure that he had all the information that he needed.

He walked into his quarters and saw Sam there with the kids. "Thanks for brining them home Sam. And I have the Paris children too, but it will be okay, again...thanks."

Chakotay brought Taya and Miral to the table and made them chicken rice.

Then he brought the babies, which he realized he had three of, to the table set them up and began to feed the tykes.

He started feeding Haley and she spit the strained carrots all over him. *Nice so this is what Kathryn deals with.*

When the child finally got enough food in her he turned to Katie. "Okay baby, make this easier on me." Then he though, *She's a Kathryn...I'm screwed.*

Two hours later, Chakotay finally had all the children fed and put down for bed. *Thank god that's over.*

The door chime rang and Chakotay hailed, "Come."

Tom Paris showed his face. "I'm done my shift: Do you want me to take the kids for a bit?"

"Oh now you come, they're asleep and fed, and now you decide to show your face."

"I just thought maybe you'd like to get a chance to go and visit your wife in sickbay." He paused, unwilling to tell him what was wrong. "She's awake now, and would probably like to see you."

Chakotay took in a deep breath, "Thanks Tom. Did you guys find out what was wrong with her?"

Tom nodded, "Yes we did and when you go to sickbay, I'm sure that the doctor will tell you."

"Thanks Tom, see you in a little bit."

Tom nodded and Chakotay took off to see his wife and figure out what was wrong.

Chakotay walked down the hall towards the sickbay. He had to make sure that Kathryn was okay; he needed her, the kids needed her and the crew needed her.

He finally got off the turbolift and made his way towards sickbay. When he got to the door, he entered and saw the doctor scanning her, focusing on her abdomen.

Finally Chakotay cleared his throat and walked up towards his wife and the doctor.

What he saw on the monitor made his heart stop. "I know what that looks like but how is it possible?"

Kathryn smiled. "I had a feeling this was the case this afternoon when I went to see the Think Tank."

"That doesn't answer my question Kathryn, how?"

"When I see the Think Tank with Jennica, Fennim read her mind. He knew that I was Jennica's mother. He read Jennica's thoughts about wanting a baby, and he checked out our biochemical balance."

"But why are you pregnant?"

"Well when a man and a woman..."

"Damnit Kathryn, that doesn't answer my question."

"We had sex yesterday and you know that semen stay alive in a woman's body for a couple of days. And Kurros figured if he did this for us, Jennica might help him, possibly even join him."

Chakotay shook his head, "So what are you gonna do?"

"I've spoken to Jennica and here's what's going to happen."

[Bridge – 0900]

Kathryn watched the viewscreen and the confrontation going on between the Hazari vessel and the 'Think Tank'. In the Hazari vessel, Y'sek watched Kurros on the monitor.

Kurros spoke up, "We have what we want. Call off your attack."

"Not until we've been compensated."

Kurros looked at him suspiciously, "Fine, but first order your other vessels to stand down."

"Now, or we'll destroy Voyager."

Kathryn watched the scene play out, she heard the talks going on and she felt queasy. She knew in her heart of hearts this was psychosomatic she was only three days pregnant, but could she do this again?

Was this baby safe within her womb?

Would any baby that Jennica entrusted in her care be safe?

Kathryn let the tears fall down her face and excused herself to the ready room.

Chakotay watched her leave and was concerned. He let her stay alone for five minutes and then followed her in.

When the doors to the ready room closed Chakotay walked up to her, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"There is nothing wrong with me."

"You were listening the conversation between the two enemies that could quite possibly end our lives and our very fragile family and here you go: freaking out."

"Why did this happen Chakotay? I never asked to be a mother again. I thought I was done."

Chakotay looked at Kathryn. "I'm sorry Kathryn."

"You know that's normally not what people say when their wife says they're going to give them a baby."

He walked up to her and kissed her on the lips, "You know that's not what I mean Kathryn; but is this going to make you happy?"

Kathryn looked at him, "I don't know what will make me happy; but I know we have to get back out on the bridge and see where this situation goes."

The two of them walked out onto the bridge. "Ensign report."

Harry looked at the Captain, she looked like hell. "Are you okay Captain?"

She smiled at Harry, "I'm fine Harry thanks, just feeling a little under the weather lately."

"Okay Captain, sorry to bother you. I was just wondering, Jennica says she hasn't seen a lot of you lately."

She grinned and nodded her head. "I understand that you and Jennica are very close, I just haven't had a whole lot of time lately with Chakotay and the kids."

Kim smiled, "I can understand that Captain. Well if you want to talk or anything, Jennica and I are always around."

Janeway smiled and nodded her thanks.

Jennica finally came onto the bridge. "So you understand the plan then Jenn?"

Jennica nodded, okay well wish me luck."

Janeway nodded and Jennica went over to transporter room to make her way to the 'Think Tank'.

Kathryn acknowledged the transport. Jennica as onboard.

[Think Tank]

Kurros looked at the Borg Dron: "Seven of Nine, welcome."

Jennica looked at Kurros with hostility."Your hospitality is irrelevant. I am here because you left me no choice." Jennica turned on the Borg 'charm' and hoped against all hopes that her mother would work it out and get her off the ship before they had a chance to totally integrate her into the Think Tank.

"You gave into your human instincts to save your crew, as we knew you would. Just another factor in our equation."

"If Voyager is destroyed, I will not co-operate."

"Do not worry. The solution to the Hazari paradox is quite simple."

[Bridge]

The EMH came over the comm. line, "Sickbay to Bridge. Seven's neural transceiver has been activated."

Kathryn looked at Tuvok, "Acknowledged. Do it."

"I'm transmitting the carrier wave."

"Was there any effect Tuvok? Can you target the think tank's ship now?"

Tuvok nodded, "Yes transmitting the co-ordinates to the Hazari right now."

Janeway nodded an opened a channel, "Voyager to Hazari vessels. Their systems are down. Fire the spatial charges."

[Think Tank]

Seven stared at Kurros, "We seem to be experiencing some turbulence."

Kurros looked at Jennica smugly, "Primitive spatial charges. I will have the dome back online before they can do any damage." He looked at Jennica, "What have to done? We're being pulled out of subspace."

[Bridge]

Kathryn stared with fear in her eyes towards Kim, "Harry, what's your tactical status? Do you have a lock?"

"I've got a lock on Seven."

"Good Harry, initiate transport." She stared at Tuvok, "Are the Hazari going after them?"

"The Hazari vessels are converging on the Think Tank."

"Tom."

"Setting a course."

Kurros got in the middle of things from the other vessel. "Captain, we helped you, you're reaping the benefits at the moment.I urge you to reconsider."

"A good guest knows when he's outstayed his welcome. Thank you again for everything you've done for us, but I think it's time we left."

"We can still negotiate a peaceful solution. Do not destroy my faith in diplomacy."

"Your diplomacy could use some polishing."

Kurros stared at Jennica, making one last plea for her to stay with the Think Tank. "You know you will never be satisfied here among these people. Is this what you really want?"

'Acquiring knowledge is a worthy objective, but its pursuit has obviously not elevated you."

Kathryn gave Kurros a sly smile, "Looks like your ship's having difficulties."

"A minor problem."

"Oh, I'm sure you'll find a solution. Just give it some thought."

She turned to Tom, "Get us out of here."

Tom nodded.

Kathryn turned towards Chakotay, "Can you meet me in my ready room Commander?"

Chakotay nodded and followed her. When they got into the ready room, she looked to her husband. "I'm sorry Chakotay, it's been a rough day. I do want this baby, I do want to give you a son. I don't know what Kurros planned to do, but I'm glad he did."

Chakotay nodded, "I guess we're going to have another baby then."

Kathryn nodded, "I guess so. Looks like you're finally going to get a son Chakotay."

Chakotay let a shadow fall across his face, "I had a son Kathryn."

"I know, but this time I'll try to be more careful, this time the baby will come full term and healthy."

"I hope so Kathryn, I hope so."

To be continued in 10. The Hero's Answer


	10. Chapter 10

Jennica's Story

10\. The Hero's Answer

J/C

Rated MA

June 2009

By: AW

Length: 9,472 words

Summary: 12 weeks after 'New Transitions'. Equinox happens, and Kathryn hopes she won't be alone as the Captain again: Ransom proves her wrong.

Disclaimer: blah blah blah, I DON'T OWN THEM

[12 weeks after part 9. New Transitions]

[Janeway Quarters – 0400]

It had been a little over threre months since the 'Think Tank' incident. Aside from Chakotay no one knew that Kathryn was pregnant, yet again.

She sighed, she was beginning to feel her condition.

It hadn't been as bad with the girls: aside from Jennica that was.

She tried to get out of Chakotay's grasp, they had cuddled together to sleep after last night's romps. She had to admit that being pregnant did have its advantages her sexual appetite was insatiable.

She ran a hand over her stomach and felt the tiny swell that was beginning to make itself known. Her breasts were sensitive, her belly was beginning show and Chakotay touched her stomach and felt the tiny changes whenever he could.

She smiled and as quickly and quietly as she could, she ran to the bathroom.

"Kathryn?"

He heard the retching from the next room and felt bad. No matter what, Chakotay felt guilty every time Kathryn ended up pregnant and suffered from morning sickness.

He sighed, then he heard a hail from the bridge. "Ensign Ayala to Captain Janeway or Commander Chakotay: We're getting a distress signal with a Federation signal. I've transferred it to the Astrometrics lab."

"Acknowledged Lieutenant."

Kathryn came out of the bathroom looking a little worse for wear. "I'm getting too old for this Chakotay."

He smiled, "It'll be okay Kathryn, only six more months."

Kathryn rolled her eyes, "Only?"

Chakotay smiled at her, "You'll be fine. We got a distress call from a 'Federation vessel'. Ayala said it was transferred to Astrometrics, so we should make our way there."

Kathryn nodded swallowing the bile that was forming in her throat. "Let me grab a quick sonic shower, I'll get dressed and then I'll make my way there."

She looked at him, "Can you make sure that the kids get to the nursery before you make your way to Astrometrics?"

"Sure thing 'mom'."

Kathryn glared at him and made her way to the bathroom to take the sonic shower.

[0600 hours – Astrometrics]

Kathryn showed up clean and refreshed. She'd only gotten sick twice more before she made her way to Astrometrics. This pregnancy was going to kill her.

Kathryn stared at the screen: "- Federation Starship Equinox. We're under attack. We need assistance. This is Captain Ransom of the Federation Starship Equinox. We're under attack. We need assis..."

Kathryn rubbed her chin, "Ransom. He was in command of a science vessel, the Equinox."

Seven looked at her mother, "So now I get to meet more humans huh? This distress call was transmitted approximately fourteen hours ago."

"Distance?"

Jennica looked at Chakotay, "Three point two light years."

"Try to get a fix on their location."

Chakotay looked at his wife, "What's it doing in the Delta Quadrant?"

"You could ask the same about us? What were we doing in the Delta Quadrant."

Chakotay nodded, "True, you think they were brought here by the Caretaker too?"

"I don't know, but I think we should find out." She straightened up and rubbed a hand over her belly.

Jennica looked oddly at her mother, "Perhaps it's searching for Voyager."

Kathryn went back into the 'Captain's mode', "The Equinox is a Nova class ship. It was designed for planetary research, not long-range tactical missions."

Jennica looked at her 'parents' "I've got their co-ordinates. Heading two five eight mark twelve."

"Set a course, maximum warp. Go to red alert." She paused and looked to Chakotay, "Hang on, Captain."

Kathryn walked out of Astrometrics, Chakotay following close behind. "We may actually get some help getting back to the Alpha Quadrant Kat."

"Maybe, but I'm not counting my chickens before they hatch."

He pulled her close. "I love you, and I'm sure you'll get us through whatever may come." His hand reached down and brushed over her abdomen.

"Chakotay, if you want to keep this pregnancy a secret for a while, it might be better if you don't touch me in the middle of the hallway."

He smiled, showing the dimples she loved, "Maybe, but I can't believe how incredible this is. I thought we were done with the children."

She drew in a deep breath, "So did I. I thought weight gain and breastfeeding were finished."

Chakotay laughed, "Oh come on you love it and you know it."

Jennica approached from behind and the command couple didn't even see her or realize that she now knew their dirty little secret.

Jennica made her way to Harry's quarters. She rang the chime, she knew he wasn't due on duty for a couple of more hours.

Harry answered the door, looking as if he had just woken up.

"Jenn? What time is it?"

Jennica stared at Harry, "0700 hours."

Harry attempted to wipe the sleep from his eyes, "I don't have to be on the bridge for another two hours, you could have let me sleep."

Jennica looked at him determined, "I need to talk to you."

Harry opened his arms and showed her the way in. She fell into his arms as the doors closed to his quarters. "My mother lied to me."

Harry shook his head, "Why would she do that?"

"She's pregnant. She told me she had had to have a hysterectomy performed after Kole's birth and it was all my fault. She refused to carry our baby because she said it wasn't possible: she lied to me."

Harry shook his head, "I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation for this."

"No, you don't understand! She never wanted to help me and she lied to me at every turn."

Harry sighed, "Now Jennica, I'm sure that's not true."

"I need to get back on duty, we need to get a fix on that ship we detected."

[Bridge – 0900 hours]

Tom turned to look at the Captain and Commander as they entered the bridge. "We're approaching the coordinates."

"Take us out of warp."

Kim stared at Janeway, she didn't look pregnant. Oh well what they did was none of his business. "I've got them. Two thousand kilometres off the port bow. They're moving at low impulse."

"Intercept. Can you get a visual?"

Tuvok looked at the Captain, stating the obvious, "They are heavily damaged. Multiple hull breaches. Warp drive is offline."

Harry stared at her sitting in her chair her hand going unconsciously to her belly. Could she be pregnant, and possibly have lied to Jennica? As far as he knew that wasn't the way Captain Janeway was. He was sure there was a realistic explanation for this.

He heard her voice, "Harry?!"

Kim came out of his reverie, "We're in hailing range."

"Open a channel. This is Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager. We're responding to your –"

"Voyager, you've got to extend your shields around our ship! Match the emitter frequency!"

Kathryn jumped up from her chair and felt her equilibrium go nuts; she placed a hand to her head and shook tried to shake it off before taking in a deep breath and answering, "Are you under attack?"

Ramsom demanded, but it had been far too long since she had been in contact with another Starfleet vessel and she wasn't about to let the opportunity slip away. "Shields, quickly!"

"Do it."

Tom glided in close to the Equinox, "We're in position."

"I am attempting to match their shield frequency."

The doctor turned around, "Do you hear something?"

Jennica looked at the senior staff concerned, "Interspatial fissure are opening on decks ten, six and one."

"Tuvok!"

"Stand by. Shields are holding."

Chakotay looked at his wife. She had almost passed out, she spent the morning losing whatever was in her stomach, he had to speak with her; but first things first. "The fissures?"

Jennica just about spit out, "No sign of them."

"Voyager to Ransom. Captain!" When no answer was forthcoming she turned to Chakotay, "Assemble rescue teams. Secure the Equinox. Tuvok, you're with me."

Chakotay put a hand on her arm, "Are you sure you're the best person to take this away mission?"

"I'm the Captain of this ship, I have to go."

Chakotay didn't like it, but he knew he couldn't talk her out of this. "See you soon: Be careful."

[Equinox Bridge]

Kathryn had crewmembers all over the 'Equinox', she had to make sure that this crew was okay. By the looks of the ship: her crew and ship were in much better order.

She kneeled down so she was eye level with him, and he answered, the same as any good Captain would, "My crew."

"You took heavy casualties. We're treating the survivors. Who attacked you?"

Ransom looked confused and upset at the same time, "We don't know, we can't communicate with them. They've been attacking us for weeks."

She pushed him back down in the chair, "Easy, easy."

"I've got to secure the ship,"

She would help him, she would make his ship better. She had B'Elanna: the best Engineer she had ever worked with and her best friend here to help her. "Leave that to us."

"No, treat me here. I'm not leaving my bridge."

For once, she had someone who was the same rank as her and she knew she couldn't pull rank, for once she knew she wasn't the top; she wasn't the be all and end all of the human race. "I can't pull rank on you, Captain, but you're in no condition to put up a fight."

And the question that broke her heart and ruined her dreams of finally seeing home again. "So, how's Earth?"

"I wish I could say."

"You weren't sent here to find us?"

He was hoping the same thing she was and both were wrong. Now she had to take care of the fact that she was again alone. "I'm afraid not. We've been stranded in the Delta quadrant for five years. We were pulled here against our will by an alien called –"

Kathryn looked at him and together they both said the words that had stranded them in the Delta Quadrant and had ended their careers so to speak, "The Caretaker."

She looked at him, "We'll compare notes later on. Let's get you to Voyager."

Kathryn stood up and helped Ransom get up. She was almost carrying his weight and she knew that she should be more careful since she was indeed carrying a child, but no one knew and she was the Captain. She tapped her combadge, "Janeway to Voyager can you transport myself and Captain Ransom to my ready room?"

"Yes, Captain."

[Ready Room]

The two Captains stared at each other. "I've asked the doctor to come here to check you out. I need to know if you know anything about those aliens that are attacking you. I need to keep my ship and my family safe."

Ransom stared at her, "Family: Voyager isn't a family ship is it?"

Kathryn shook her head, "No, but I have had to make a lot of changes on this ship since being stuck 70,000 light years from home."

Ransom nodded, "I guess we all have."

The doctor entered the ready room and looked Ransom over from top to bottom. "He looks like he's in fairly good shape. A couple of abrasions, a cracked rib...he needs sleep."

Kathryn nodded, "Aside from that he's fine?"

The doctor nodded, "Yes Captain; aside from that no problems."

She looked gratefully at the doctor, "Thanks."

Kathryn looked at Ransom, "I think you should go and take a nap, and then at 1400 hours we'll meet in the Astrometrics lab. I'll have Commander Chakotay assign you some quarters."

Ransom nodded, "Thank you Captain."

[Astrometrics lab]

Jennica looked at her mother, keep it professional, don't let the personal problems surface. "I've run a thermographic analysis of our shields. It revealed multiple stress points. We believe they're the result of alien attempts to infiltrate our vessels. Each time a fissure opens within a metre of our shields it weakens them by point three percent."

Kathryn shook her head she had to get this to work. "At the present rate, we have less than two days to mount a defence."

Jennica decided to talk to Ransom more than her mother. She couldn't deal with her mom right now, she couldn't deal with her lies and her perfect little life that she had that Jennica herself would never have: Life wasn't fair. She turned to Captain Ransom, "According to your bio-scans the aliens can survive in our realm for only several seconds."

"They're like fish out of water, but they can do a lot of damage in those seconds."

Tuvok looked at the pair of Captains, "Nevertheless, it is a tactical weakness. Perhaps we can exploit it."

Burke answered, "What have you got in mind?"

"If we can show them we have the ability to hold them here, they'll think twice before launching another attack."

"But the question is, how do we catch these fish?"

"You build a net."

Kathryn looked at the 'Commander' of the Equinox. He had some good ideas, she could get used to ideas and information that were coming from someone of than those that were part of her Senior Staff.

She could get used to not being the only one in charge of everything.

They'd decided in the end to build a multiphasic force field to catch the aliens. It looked good in theory, it looked like it might work.

Kathryn sighed and she heard Chakotay come up behind her. "You need your sleep Kathryn."

"I can't Chakotay: I still have work that needs -"

He cut her off, "And I need to make sure you're okay, you have to make sure you're going to get through this with you and the baby healthy."

Kathryn glared at him, "I can't just take a break whenever because I'm pregnant."

"But sometimes you need to give yourself a break Kathryn."

She looked at her husband, "I can't. It's bad enough that I've married my first officer and had three kids already while the Captain of the ship; I can't just ignore my responsibilities because I'm going to have a baby."

He sighed knowing he wasn't going to win this one.

She stared at him telling her she was going to do it no matter what, "Now if you're done, I have to get to the Equinox bridge and speak with Ransom."

She turned around and left the astrometrics lab, leaving her husband behind wondering if his wife would ever change.

[Equinox Bridge]

Kathryn shook her head, she had to get her little fights with Chakotay out of her head. She couldn't possibly deal with Ransom and another crew while she was at odds with her first officer; and the Equinox Crew did have a little bit of a lax philosophy when it came to protocol, and everything else. For God's sake they called him by his first name.

She could just picture Harry calling her 'Kathryn' on the bridge, he'd probably die of embarassement.

She sighed and walked up to Captain Ranosom, "I couldn't help but notice your crew calls you by your first name."

"When you've been in the trenches as long as we have, rank and protocol are luxuries. Besides, we're a long way from Starfleet Command."

"I know the feeling." And she did know the feeling even if it didn't seem to be to the degree that the Equinox crew seemed to have lived it.

Ransom glared at her, and stated: "You seem to run a pretty tight ship."

And Kathryn thought that it was probably at that point that she knew that something was wrong; that she knew that they weren't alike and would never be alike, and she would probably never get through to him. Something just didn't feel right.

"We've been known to let our hair down from time to time but I find that maintaining protocol reminds us of where we came from and hopefully, where we're going."

"It seems to work quite well for you."

"Oh, we've overcome our share of obstacles, Warp core breaches, ion storms, a few rounds with the Borg -" Kathryn rubbed a hand over her abdomen, and hoped that these people couldn't tell yet. She didn't want them to think that she was soft because she was carrying a baby.

She wanted Chakotay to believe in her; she wanted Ransom to respect her; and she wanted Jennica to accept her.

Ransom broke her train of thought, "The Borg? We haven't seen so much as a Cube since the day we arrived."

She turned to him surprised, "Consider yourself lucky."

Kathryn spoke with Ransom about all the losses they'd suffered through. All the alien species they'd met. Their experiences were different and the two crews had made different decisions and ended up in different places.

Kathryn sighed as she realized that Ransom was still speaking to her, "When I first realised that we'd be travelling across the Delta quadrant for the rest of our lives I told my crew that we had a duty as Starfleet officers to expand our knowledge and uphold our principles. After a couple of years, we started to forget that we were explorers, and there were times when we nearly forgot that we were human beings."

Kathryn stared at him, trying to make him seem okay, trying to realize that his decisions were not that different than the ones she had made over the years...except: they were. "This is a Nova class science vessel, designed for short term research missions. Minimal weapons. It can't even go faster than warp eight! Frankly, I don't know how you've done it. You've obviously travelled as far as we have with much fewer resources."

"I wish that I could take all the credit, but we stumbled across a wormhole, and made a few enhancements to our warp engines." He paused almost as if judging what Kathryn's reaction would be before he asked the question. "I'd like to ask you something, Captain to Captain."

Kathryn looked at him, this was the question that was going to make or break their 'Captain to Captain relationship, "Mm-hmm."

"The Prime Directive. How often have you broken it for the sake of protecting your crew?"

She looked at him shocked, he was going to divulge something to her here, he was going to tell her that he had broken the Prime Directive, that he had gone against every rule ever. "Broken it? Never. Bent it on occasion, and even then it was a difficult choice. What about you?"

"I've walked the line once or twice, but nothing serious." There you are she thought, he had gone against every principle of Starfleet. "There you are!" He stated and went to pick up the plaque commemorating 'the Equinox'.

She smiled at him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "It's a good omen. Let's put it back where it belongs." And Kathryn had a bad feeling about the Equinox from that moment on. They had decided to follow different rules than Kathryn's crew had. They had broken directives left right and center: Kathryn there were certain directive that she had broken but they had to do mainly with her personal life, and in the end the only one that would end up paying for these indiscretions was Kathryn herself.

Kathryn walked away from the Equinox Captain and left his bridge to let him stew things over. She called for transport and headed directly for deck one and went to visit her bridge. She walked out onto the bridge and looked around at the good crew she had been stuck with.

Kathryn looked at the time and realized that her shift was over, and that she and the baby needed their rest. She stared at Chakotay, "I'll see you when you get home, I think I'm going to call it a day."

Chakotay nodded and watched his wife leave the bridge.

Kathryn got on the turbolift. She immediately called for deck two and she walked into her quarters where Samantha was waiting for her with the children.

She walked up to the playpen where Haley was standing up in her playpen staring at her mother, "Mommy."

Kathryn walked up to her and picked up the middle child. "Yes, honey. How's my baby today."

The child smiled at her mother and Kathryn picked up the child and walked up to Samantha. "So how were the children today?"

"They were perfect; but I shouldn't expect anything else, they are the Captain's children after all."

"Yeah right, whatever Samantha. Now you're lying to your Captain."

Samantha smiled at her, "Taya is very headstrong: Kind of like her mother."

Kathryn glared at Samantha, "No need to insult to me."

Chakotay walked in the quarters and saw Kathryn holding baby Haley. He walked up to her and kissed her on the lips. "Hey how's the youngest baby Kat?"

"Hannah is fine Chakotay."

"That's not the one I'm referring to Kathryn."

Samantha's mouth dropped open, "Another one?"

Kathryn nodded, "We weren't going to tell anyone yet, but I guess Chakotay felt the need to spread the news."

Samantha smiled, "I'm happy for you: Do you two think you're going to get a boy this time?"

"The doctor says we are."

Kathryn walked up to Samantha, "Again thanks, and I guess Celes has the Janeway brats tomorrow; so have a great night Samanatha."

"Thanks Captain, Commander; and congratulations again."

Kathryn stared at Chakotay. "I see you felt the need to share?"

"Just to Samantha, and in all honesty...I don't think she'll betray our confidence and tell anyone else."

She stared at him, "And you just had to share."

"Kathryn, I don't think that most people knew that you had been forced to have a hysterectomy: aside from Jennica, and I think that it will seems normal enough for us to have another child."

"Chakotay we already have three, I think after this one, we should stop."

Chakotay looked at her, "I think so too."

She stared at him, "Did I ever tell you why the 'Think Tank' did this for me?"

Chakotay shook his head, "Not completely, you just told me they fixed you and you were pregnant."

She tilted her head, "It has to do with Jennica."

He looked at her, "How so?"

"They did this for me, so that Jennica and Harry could have a baby and I could carry it."

Chakotay was livid. "You're going to give her this baby."

"No," She took his hand and placed it over the baby bump, "This child, is your son."

He looked at her, "But?"

"But when we were on the Think Tank, they read Jennica's mind. They knew I was her mother, and they didn't want to fix her to make her able to have children because it would have taken away the Borg Enhancements that they wanted so badly."

"So they made you able to carry her children."

Kathryn nodded, "They changed my bio-chemistry so it matches hers. There won't be a problem with me carrying a baby for her."

"Kathryn you can't be serious, is this dangerous for you?"

"No more dangerous than me carrying any child I would think."

He looked at her and shook his head, "When you do decide to do this for her, you are going to have to go through all sorts of hormone treatments and embryo implantation, are you sure you want to go through that?"

She let a tear fun down her cheek, "I don't think I have a choice. The think tank no matter what their methods and intentions have given us a chance to give Jennica and Harry what they want."

Chakotay looked at the two year old in his wife's arms. "Well looks like this one is asleep."

Haley was off in dream land and Chakotay couldn't help but smile. "And Hannah has been asleep for a couple of hours, so that just leaves Taya."

They heard the child's voice come from the back room, "I heard that."

Kathryn placed Haley down to sleep, "So how's my oldest daughter tonight? Did you have fun with Auntie Sam?"

Taya nodded her head quickly, "We read, then we did arts and crafts, then we played with Flotter and Treevis, then –"

Kathryn stopped her, "Okay I get it: you had fun."

Chakotay walked up behind his daughter and picked her up swinging her in his arms, "So it's getting late, your sisters are in bed and I think it's almost your bedtime."

"But daddy, I'm not tired."

Chakotay smiled at his child, "Are you telling me after a busy day like today you're not the least bit tired?"

"Nuh-uh daddy, not yet: First mommy has to read to me and I have to get my jammies on and I have to brush my teeth and..."

"Okay Taya, well get ready for bed and I'll be in to read to you in a minute. What do you want to hear tonight?"

"Cinderella!"

"Okay baby: ten minutes to get ready and then it will be story time."

Taya ran off to get ready for bed and Chakotay walked up to his wife. "Have I told you recently what a good mother I think you've turned out to be?"

She gave him a crooked half-smile, "Not today, but I'll hear it any time."

"I'm ready mommy."

She smiled at her husnandf, "Ah, duty calls."

And Kathryn walked into Taya's room and began the bedtime routine; and all she could think was that she couldn't remember her life before her husband and children.

When she married this man her life really started.

Kathryn read the story to her daughter and then came out to the living room where Chakotay sat and waited.

"So how is Taya?"

"Sleeping like a baby I didn't even get through half of the story before she passed out."

Chakotay smiled, "Ah." He motioned for her to come and sit on the couch between his legs. She complied and lay down and snuggled near her husband.

"So what do you think of Captain Ransom?"

"So we're getting down to business are we; I knew it would come up sooner or later."

Kathryn looked up at him, "I don't trust him Chakotay."

"Ah, the skeptical Captain comes to the forefront."

"He's admitted to almost giving up on Starfleet rules and regulations and on getting home!"

He placed a hand on her belly, "Like you haven't broken a few rules out here?"

"Nothing like he's done Chakotay."

"Do I want to know?"

"Probably not, I say we go to bed for now." She stood up and took his hand and led him to their bedroom. "I don't know how long we'll have before Hannah gets up."

Chakotay chuckled, "I'll go with that, let's see if we can get a couple of hours of sleep."

Kathryn nodded and off they went to try and get a few hours of sleep before the baby woke them up.

[Kim Quarters – 0400]

Jennica stood and got up from bed. She sighed, she had yet to talk to her mother about the newest addition to the Janeway clan or why she had lied to her all those months ago.

She was hurt. She walked up to the viewport and stared out at the stars before her.

The stars looked so beautiful. Every star represented a dream, a wish...and she could only hope that some of those dreams and wishes were hers and would be granted.

She sighed and went to the bathroom, emptied her bladder and snuggled back up to Harry: Life would be okay, even if the dreams were never given to her.

[0700 hours – Janeway Quarters]

"Tuvok to Captain Janeway or Commander Chakotay."

Kathryn woke up to her combadge: she slapped her combadge, "Janeway here."

"Captain, we need to see you in the Briefing room as soon as possible."

"Acknowledged, we'll be there in half an hour: Janeway out."

Kathryn shook Chakotay, "Chakotay we have to go to the bridge and I told them we'd be there in half an hour, so contact Celes and ask her if she can come and get the children a little early: then we have to make our way to the bridge."

Chakotay was only half awake as he nodded his consent. "No problem Kat."

[Briefing room - 0800]

Kathryn Janeway and Chakotay walked into the briefing room at exactly 0800 hours. Tuvok had told her she could have an hour, and Chakotay had been glad about it. He was insistent that Kathryn get some food in her.

She walked up to Jennica, she said she had information about the multiphasic chamber that was on the Equinox. "We've examined the schematics of your multiphasic chamber. It can be adapted. We intend to create an auto-initiating security grid."

Tuvok put his two cents worth in, "The moment an alien invades either ship a force field will surround it." Jennica countered, "Once we modify our field generator to emit multiphasic frequencies it will power the security grids on both ships." Kathryn stared at her chief of security, "How long will it take?"

"Approximately fourteen hours." Marla Gilmore stared at the Voyager senior staff, so different from her senior staff. Two different groups of people that started out in much the same way many years ago, but who had made different choices, leading to different destinies. "We don't know when they'll break through again. We may not last that long."

"We could cut the time in half if we evacuate all personnel from the Equinox and focus our efforts here on Voyager."

Ransom answered, "Remember, we are still thirty five thousand light years from Earth. We should try to preserve both ships." Max piped in with his ideas of a perfect scenario, "With two vessels we'd be able to pool our resources, doubling our chances of finding a short cut home."

Kathryn just about hissed, she was the one in charge, she was the one with the power: "Normally I'd agree, but right now one of our ships in vulnerable. Chakotay's right, we should make our stand on Voyager."

"I don't want to force the issue, but I am prepared to return to the Equinox with my crew. What is the protocol in this situation? We have two Captains and two ships. Who gets the last word?"

Janeway made her stand, "Starfleet Regulation one hundred ninety one, Article fourteen. In a combat situation involving more than one ship, command falls to the vessel with tactical superiority. I looked it up this morning."

Then Rudy and Max made their position known that even though Starfleet protocol recognized her authority, they didn't necessarily agree.

They said they wanted to beam back to their ship and Janeway agreed, trying to be kind to the people who might very likely spend the rest of their lives holed up with the Voyager crew. Kathryn watched as most people left until there was no one left in the conference room but Kathryn and her daughter.

"Jennica."

"Mom."

Jennica looked at her mother with hate, "How could you?"

Kathryn was taken aback, "Pardon?"

"How could you lie to me, tell me you couldn't carry my son, and then go and get pregnant again."

Kathryn drew in a deep breath, "I never lied to you."

"Yes you did." She tore Kathryn's jacket off and lifted her shirt up. "You have a baby in there. You told me you were barren, that you couldn't possibly carry a baby ever again and here you are."

Kathryn was unsure what to say. "You don't understand. You have no idea Jenn. I never tried to get pregnant or thought I ever would again."

Jennica let out a hollow laugh, "And you expect me to believe this? Here you are, pregnant and from what I've been told you're going to give Chakotay a son now." She paused glaring at her mother, "You know mom, you could have told me it was unlikely you'd ever get pregnant again because of your age, or because of the miscarriage of Kole, anything, but a hysterectomy."

"I never meant to hurt you, and whether you believe it or not I never lied to you: I love you."

Jennica had tears in her eyes, "If you loved me, you would never have given me up all those years ago, you would never have let Admiral Paris, allow me to be assimilated by the Borg, and you would never have refused me when I asked you to help me have my baby boy."

Kathryn looked at her daughter, "Can I say anything else to convince you? To make you believe that I did this for you?"

Jennica laughed, "For me right. You never did anything for me and you'd never do anything for me. You're selfish, you're a bad mother, and I don't want to be associated with you anymore."

"Jennica, you don't –"

"Oh yes I mean it. I can't look at you right now mom, and I hope you have a nice life together with your perfect family." She threw Kathryn's jacket at her feet and left the ready room.

Kathryn collapsed on the floor and hoped that someday Jennica would realize that she had done this for her.

[1100 hours – bridge]

Kathryn made her way onto the bridge and walked right up to her seat, "Commander, I'm going to my quarters for a bit I'm not feeling well."

Chakotay nodded and let her go on her way. Half an hour later she had gotten to her quarters and had laid down listening to the quietness. She had almost forgotten what it was like to be in her quarters and listen to the blissful sound of silence.

She laid back in her bad and quickly passed out.

[1300 hours]

Chakotay walked into their quarters looking for his wife. She was lying on the bed, looking like an angel.

He moved her hair away from her face and realized without the stresses of the day on her shoulders and when she was relaxed she looked a lot younger than she was.

He stared at her as she rolled onto her back and slowly the sheet fell down exposing her breasts and the beginning of the swell of her abdomen. She had looked so tired on the bridge that morning, and he knew that she had had a little confrontation with Jennica.

She was wearing nothing more than a housecoat with nothing underneath. She looked so beautiful. He touched her cheek, "Kathryn."

She mumbled something in her sleep her hand going to her belly unconsciously, "Mmmm."

"Kathryn, time to go for lunch."

She pulled the sheet over her head, and all he could think was: *This was the brave Captain Kathryn Janeway.*

He smiled, "Kathryn, you need to eat."

She pulled the sheet down and pulled the housecoat closer to her, "Fine."

He pulled her close to him and gave her a kiss. "You made a pretty picture when I came in here."

She glared at him, "This is why I don't sleep in the middle of the day Chakotay."

He placed a hand on her belly and felt the baby bump becoming more and more noticeable. "We should probably start telling the crew."

She stared at him, "If you recall you already started with Samantha Wildman."

Chakotay chuckled, "It was only Samantha, I mean she watches our other three kids. It seemed like the right time to tell."

"Chakotay, we have crewmembers here from another ship, that I have to question their motives every minute: Now is not the time to share information like this."

Chakotay sighed, "Okay, but now is the time for you to eat."

Kathryn rolled her eyes, "Okay let's go, and then I'm going back to the bridge."

Chakotay nodded. "Okay, as long as you eat your lunch."

[Mess hall]

Kathryn and Chakotay walked into the mess hall. They walked up to Neelix, and stated, "So what looks good Neelix?"

"Oh, Captain, Commander, what can I get you today?"

"Maybe some of that casserole, not sure."

Kathryn nodded, "Sounds good, two helpings." She paused, "And a coffee."

Chakotay looked at her then decided there was no point in arguing with her, "Make that two coffees Neelix."

"Coming right up Commander."

Kathryn and Chakotay walked up to a table where one of their new crewmembers Marla Gilmore, sat and ate some lunch.

He stared at Marla, "Before we abandon the Equinox we should try to salvage any useful components. Let's start with your dilithium crystals."

"What we have left of them. I'm afraid we only have a few isograms."

Kathryn stared at Marla, "That's barely enough to power the sonic showers."

Marla was getting a little nervous at having Voyager's two most senior officers sitting with her, "Can I make a suggestion?"

"Please."

Marla decided to make her case, "Let's forget about the primary systems, they're too badly damaged. Let's focus on supplies. We picked up a few items I think might come in handy. Two kilotons of kemacite ore, a dozen canisters of mercurium."

He turned and stared at his wife, before making the last, "I guess I'd better tell Neelix to make room in Cargo Bay one."

Kathryn grinned as Naomi approached the group, "Excuse me."

Marla looked at the little girl. "Oh, hello there."

"Commander, permission to interrupt?"

Chakotay grinned, "Granted."

"Ensign Gilmore."

"That's right."

"Naomi Wildman, Captain's Assistant."

"Is that so?"

"I wanted to officially welcome you aboard the Starship Voyager."

Marla almost laughed, "I'm glad to be here."

"If you need anything, replicator rations, a tour of the lower decks, I'm your man."

"Thank you, Miss Wildman. I'll keep that in mind."

"As you were."

Marla looked at Chakotay, "I didn't realise you had children on board."

The Captain glared at Chakotay informing him not to tell of her condition. "The Captain and I have three, there are two that belong to the Paris' and then there's Naomi."

Kathryn piped up, "And if you noticed, there are two heavily pregnant crewman that work on the lower decks. We had to adapt, when we figured we were going to be here for 70+ years, we knew that the staff wouldn't be able to carry them for the whole trip."

Gilmore smiled, "I have a nephew back on Earth the same age. Well, not any more. I guess he's a teenager by now. I probably wouldn't even recognise him."

Chakotay was optimistic as he stated, "You'll see him again."

The happy conversation was cut short by a hail from the Equinox Bridge, "Ransom to Gilmore."

"Yes, Captain."

"Report to the Equinox Bridge."

"On my way." Kathryn waited for the Ensign to leave when she turned and stated to the Command Couple, "Duty calls."

They both nodded and Kathryn turned to her husband, "Is it just me or did she seem very on edge?"

Chakotay nodded, "She did, but if I'd been through what she had: I would probably be too."

Kathryn looked at Chakotay, "See Voyager isn't so bad."

"I never said it was Kathryn: You're here, and that makes it all the better."

"Well Chakotay, we'd better get to our bridge."

Chakotay nodded and put his arm out so she could take it. She joined him and together they walked towards the turbolift.

[Bridge - 1400 hours]

Kathryn entered the bridge Chakotay in tow. The Equinox crew were on the bridge talking to her senior staff trying to get things worked out. They seemed very intent on getting their ship up and running.

Kathryn heard a comm. call from the doctor: Last time she checked he was on the Equinox, checking out the science lab. "The chamber contains a polaron grid and a submolecular resequencer. It looks like it was designed to convert the alien cell structures into some kind of crystalline compound."

Kathryn decided this was not something that should be heard by the Equinox crew. She looked to Chakotay and he followed her into her ready room.

"I didn't see anything about that on the schematics doctor, and I certainly didn't hear about that from the crew."

She heard the doctor sigh on the other end of the line. "I've a feeling there's a lot here they didn't specify. I've accessed their research logs. They're encrypted, but judging by the file headings they've performed this procedure dozens of times. More of the alien compound, but it's' been biochemically altered. They've extracted the base proteins. It's molecular structure is most unusual."

Kathryn did not look happy when she looked to Chakotay. "Looks like the Equinox crew definitely does not follow the Starfleet objective."

"Where is the doctor?"

Kathryn looked at her husband, "I asked him to go to Astrometrics and speak with Tuvok and Jennica about what else he found."

"And?"

"He sent me a message stating what exactly he thought the alien compound was being used for." She turned the screen of her computer so that he could see it too. "And I think that they were using it as an energy source. They were killing innocent creatures to get themselves home a little quicker: It's wrong."

"Kathryn –"

"No Chakotay, there are certain things I won't stand for and this is one of them."

"So what are you going to do Kat?"

She sighed, "I'm giving him one more chance to explain himself Captain to Captain. I have a meeting with him in the Briefing Room in 30 minutes."

Chakotay nodded, "I'll take the bridge Captain."

Kathryn nodded and started putting material together for the meeting.

[Briefing room – 30 minutes later]

Kathryn was pacing around the room, trying to figure out how she was going to deal with this. It was right, she was angry, he was a Starfleet Captain, he was supposed to set the standard, and right now he seemed to have set the standard awfully low.

Finally Ransom poked his head into the briefing room, at Ransom's questioning look Kathryn motioned for him to sit down across from her.

"The alien compound. Ten isograms. If I understand your calculations, that's enough to increase your warp factor by what, point zero three percent for one month? Unfortunately, that boost wouldn't get you very far, so you'd need to replenish the supply and that means killing another lifeform, and then another.

How many lives would it take to get you back to the Alpha quadrant? I think you know the reason we're under attack. These aliens are trying to protect themselves from you."

Ransom stared at Kathryn, "Not all ships are as lucky as yours."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"I mean not all ships are lucky enough to have their former lover become their first officer. I've heard you've got a family on this ship too."

Kathryn sighed and let her hand fall to her abdomen where the latest Janeway rested and grew. "I had to create a family environment, we were supposed to be out here for more than 70 years."

"So were we."

"And you chose the easy road, so how many more aliens would it take for you to get your crew home?"

Ransom stared at her knowing to a certain extent there was some truth in her words, "Sixty three, that's how many more it will take. Every time I sacrifice one of those lives, a part of me is lost as well."

Kathryn looked at him unbelieving. "I might believe that if I hadn't examined your research. These experiments were meticulous and they were brutal. If you'd felt any remorse, you'd never have continued."

Ransom looked at the self-righteous woman before him. She was spouting rules and regulations at him she and she had been since he'd came on board this ship; well now it was his turn. "Starfleet regulation three, paragraph twelve. In the event of imminent destruction, a Captain is authorised to preserve the lives of his crew by any justifiable means."

"I doubt that protocol covers mass murder."

"In my judgment, it did."

This is where Kathryn lost it, this is where Kathryn decided that she was taking things into her own hands. What he was doing was beyond acceptable and she was going to put a stop to it right now. "Unacceptable."

Ransom was livid. "Captain, you're talking from the bow of a ship where there is everything you could want: Everything working, people get along, there is no strife and you have no deaths."

"We've had our fair share of death and destruction since we've been in the Delta Quadrant, but we held strong to our principles, and you should have done the same."

Ransom felt as if he was being lectured by a woman who was probably ten years his junior, "We had nothing. My ship was in pieces. Our dilithium was gone, we were running on thrusters, We hadn't eaten in sixteen days. We had just enough power to enter orbit of an M class planet, and lucky for us, the inhabitants were generous."

"I don't care how generous the inhabitants were, what you're doing is wrong."

Ransom continued his story: "They were called the Ankari. They provided us with a meal, a few supplies, even some dilithium crystals. They even performed one of their sacred rituals to invoke spirits of good fortune from another realm to bless our journey; but these weren't spirits, hey were nucleogenic life forms. Our scans revealed that they were emitting high levels of antimatter. Later the same night we managed to obtain one of the summoning devices in exchange for an energy converter."

Kathryn stood up from her place at the end of the table and approached him and leaned over him against the table. "You obtained a summoning device but I doubt that they gave that to you in good faith so you could kill their gods."

"You're so self-righteous, so stuck in your ways Captain: What would you do if you were stuck in the same situation?"

"Not what you did. What you did went against everything we as Starfleet Officers believe in."

He scoffed at her, "So does a pregnant Captain on the bridge."

"I will deal with any disciplinary hearings when we get home, but I need to make sure this crew gets home, and if that means that I have to have children to make sure that the crew thinks it's okay then so be it."

"And you don't think that that skews your judgement? I mean don't you think that any time you're in a fight, you're thinking of not what's best for the crew but what's best for your family?"

She stared at the Captain, "We're not killing innocent lifeforms."

"We tried to send it back but it was too late. We examined the remains and discovered it could be converted to enhance our propulsion systems. It was already dead. What would you have done? We travelled over ten thousand light years in less than two weeks. We'd found our salvation. How could we ignore it?

Now Kathryn was livid, she could possibly give him the first death by proxy but the rest, were in his control and it was murder. "By adhering to the oath you took as Starfleet officers to seek out life, not destroy it."

"It's easy to cling to principles when you're standing on a vessel with its bulkheads intact, manned by a crew that's not starving."

And for once Kathryn was actually glad for Neelix, "It's never easy, but if we turn our backs on our principles, we stop being human. I'm putting an end to your experiments and you are hereby relieved of your command. You and your crew will be confined to quarters."

And Ransom finally knew he had lost, "Please, show them leniency. They were only following my orders."

"Their mistake."

"It's a long way home, Captain."

"For you not long enough."

Kathryn was about to order security in to take him away when he continued. "I guess though for you it doesn't matter considering you have everything you could ever want here on this ship."

Kathryn glared at him and called security in to take him out of her sight.

[Engineering – same time]

Max was fiddling with the engineering console. He had to try and figure out how B'Elanna had configured the engines, the warp manifolds and most importantly the shields.

B'Elanna walked up behind him, "Intruder alert. Same old Max, going through my things. That is a command station. It's off limits without my direct authorisation."

Max played it cool, this was his old girlfriend, she would probably give him the benefit of the doubt. "I didn't realise: You going to throw me in the Brig?"

B'Elanna felt the sexual attraction that had always been there between her and Max, but she had Tom to think about and the babies. "I think we can overlook this infraction. Can I help you with something?"

"Just doing some homework, studying your propulsion system. There's a chance I'm going to be stuck on Voyager. I figured I had better learn my way around.

Maybe you could tutor me over dinner?"

"Problem is, you were never really interested in the work, or the meal. Something tells me you haven't changed."

B'Elanna looked at Max, "You'd be surprised. Life changes people B'Elanna."

"Look, Max, don't get me wrong, it's good to see you again, but ten years."

Burke had noticed the possessiveness that Tom Paris had with her, he had noticed the love shining in both of their eyes, "Tom Paris."

"Tom Paris."

He looked at his half-Klingon ex-girlfiend, "You could do worse. So we still on for dinner? Just the two of us?"

"Max I can't." She had children and Tom to think about."

"I understand, well I'd better get going."

B'Elanna nodded, "Get going, or I will throw you in the Brig.

[1700 hours – Paris Quarters]

Tom was staring at Katie sleeping peacefully on the couch. She had fallen asleep after watching a 'disney movie' on his TV.

He laughed, The 20th Century had its charms. Tom waited, B'Elanna should be home any time now. And sure enough, he just put the kids down for bed and the door opened. "Tom?"

"Hi honey, how's it going tonight?"

"I heard the weirdest rumour today. They said Kat is pregnant again, I thought she had a hysterectomy, but I didn't say anything: It's really none of my business."

"Hey B'Elanna, its true: She is pregnant, but the why could take some explaining that I really don't feel like doing right now."

B'Elanna nodded, "I had the weirdest dream last night Tom. It was like a memory of something that happened when I was pregnant with Jennica's baby."

She shook her head trying to erase the cobwebs to access the information tucked away in her brain. "It's like an image of something that did happen but didn't."

Tom shook his head, "What do you remember?"

"I remember Chakotay being there, which is weird and I can't figure out why you weren't there." She shook her head confused, "Then I remember feeling like I was asleep and hearing voices, telling me that they needed to get rid of the bad memories?"

"B'Elanna, just try to calm down."

"Don't tell me calm down: What the hell happened?"

Tom stared at B'Elanna, "I don't know."

The two of them stared at each other trying to figure out what was truth and what was a lie. Then B'Elanna started to cry, "I need to know what happened."

Tom approached her and enveloped her in a hug whispering, "Shhh, it'll be okay."

[Bridge]

Kathryn sat on the bridge in her command chair, Chakotay by her side. She bent over and whispered to him, "Did the doctor say he found anything?"

Chakotay shrugged, "Not that I know but he may have found something since."

She tapped her combadge, "Bridge to the Doctor."

The doctor answered but didn't sound right. "Sickbay here."

"Did you find anything?"

"Could you be more specific?"

Kathryn looked at Chakotay and raised an eyebrow before answering the doctor, "Neural patterns, cortical scans, anything that could help us program the universal translator."

"Uh, negative. I couldn't access the Equinox data files. They were encrypted."

Kathryn just kept going, "Keep studying the information we have. See what you can come up with."

She stared at her husband, "What the hell is wrong with our EMH? He's never unsure of anything and yet he can't seem to make a decision."

Chakotay shook his head, "I have no idea Kathryn."

"Well come on you have to help me figure this out Chakotay; you are after all my first officer after all."

Chakotay glared at her, "Kathryn, calm down." When she didn't change her stance he opened his mouth and tried another tactic. "I'm sorry Captain," he said. "I never meant to sound disrespectful."

Kathryn glared at him.

The Equinox crew had escaped, how she wasn't sure: but they had gotten away.

She shook her head, the doctor couldn't come up with an answer, something wasn't quite right.

She had B'Elanna and Vorik, and the doctor working on it, something had to work.

Harry piped up, "Fissures are opening, all decks!"

Kathryn looked around at the aliens penetrating their defences. She shot the fissures, trying to keep them closed. She heard Chakotay yell at her from the other side of the command chairs, "Kathryn!"

And then she felt something hit her on the side of the head, and her hand flew to her belly; hoping the baby was okay.

And then everything went black.

Chakotay watched his wife go down with her hand clenching her abdomen. He called for transport and watched as Kathryn's form disappeared. He turned to Harry, "Give me tactical control." He tapped buttons on the command console and looked to the ensign, "Good guess. I used a deflector pulse to reinforce the shields. It won't hold for long."

Tom had seen Kathryn go down. "Bridge to Sickbay. Doctor, respond." He looked to Chakotay, "Doctor is there any news on the Captain?"

The hail came from sickbay but it wasn't the doctor, it was an ensign. "Yes, sir; she appears to be okay. I'll know more later, but at the moment we have major casualties."

Harry Kim piped up from the back, "Casualty reports are coming in. Two dead, thirteen wounded. We took heavy damage to the engines."

Chakotay looked at him, "The Equinox?"

"They've gone to warp. No sign of nucleogenic particles."

Chakotay stared at him and knew what Kathryn would say, "Then they haven't engaged their enhanced warp drive yet."

Chakotay rushed off the bridge, he had to be with his wife. He had to know that his son was okay and he had to know that his wife was okay.

He just had to know.

Neelix stopped him halfway to the sickbay, "Commander, I found the Doctor's mobile emitter on deck nine. You might want to take it to Sickbay."

Chakotay nodded and took the mobile emitter and continued on his way.

Less than five minutes later, he rushed into sickbay. Tom was looking at the sickbay staff, "Any sign of the Doc?"

Chakotay looked at Paris, "I've got him right here Paris."

The doctor materialized before them all, "Please state the nature of the - Don't bother."

"You should start with the Captain, she took a nasty fall on the bridge. She seems stable at the moment, but considering her condition we should keep her here a little longer.

Chakotay nodded and stared at the doctor, "We found your emitter on deck nine."

"I was taken hostage by the Equinox crew. I deactivated myself to escape. Did you stop them?"

Chakotay shook his head, "No."

Kathryn sat up, and Chakotay stopped her worried about her and the baby. "Hey hey, take it easy."

Kathryn lay back down and stared at her husband, "I'd ask for a status report but I'm not sure I'd want to hear it."

They spoke of Harry trying to figure out the language of the creatures that Ransom had been torturing. And then Chakotay looked at her hard, "How are you doing...honestly?"

"I'm fine, and I'll be out of sickbay and back on duty soon, so don't get too comfortable in my command chair."

Chakotay chuckled, "Yes, ma'am."

He walked out of sickbay and hoped she was being truthful with him.

To be continued in 11. Crossing the Line


	11. Chapter 11

Jennica's Story

11\. Crossing the Line

J/C

Rated MA

June 2009

By: AW

Length: 6,009 words

Summary: Directly after 'The Hero's Answer', and we complete the Equinox Paradox.

Disclaimer: blah blah blah, I DON'T OWN THEM

[Directly after part 10.]

[Equinox â€ô Transporter Room]

Jennica awoke on a transporter pad. She looked around this wasn't Voyager, she turned her head and saw Max Burke, the Commander of the Equinox staring her in the face.

"Seven? Come on, we need to take you to see the Captain."

Jennica glared at him as she was pulled out of the transporter room and towards the Captain's Quarters.

[Ransom's Quarters]

Rudy was staring at the coast, watching the waves hitting the shore.

He heard the chime ring on his door and called for them - whoever they were â€ô to enter. "Who is it?"

Max's voice came over the line, "It's Max. I've brought you a visitor."

Ransom was shocked, and wondered who it was he'd brought with him, "Hold on."

He pulled off the synaptic stimulator, "Come in." He stared at the tiny blonde woman in front of him, "I'm glad you're okay. I've been using this synaptic stimulator. I was just taking a stroll along the Tenkaran coast. You're welcomed to try it."

Jennica glared at Ransom. "You stole me from my home and my mother, you took me from the only home I have had in years; you try to destroy the ship to get yourselves home; you kill alien life forms for no reason: What do you want?"

"You know, once we get our enhanced warp drive back online we'll be on our way home, but it'll still take months to get there. You can spend that time in the brig, or you can become part of this crew. I'd prefer the latter."

She stared at him, hatred in her eyes, "I'd prefer the brig."

Ransom knew that she wasn't listening, "You know, Janeway's not the only Captain who can help you explore your humanity."

"My mother is the only one I want to teach me; you would be an inferior role model."

"Janeway clung to her morality at the expense of her crew. Maybe you should learn from that mistake."

She shook her head, "Yeah and your idea of morality is killing innocent life forms and using their remains to make your ship go faster. The only mistake my mother made was trusting you."

He stared at Max, "Take care of her wound."

[Equinox Bridge]

Ransom turned around and stared at the ensign at the engineering station, "Infuse the enhanced warp drive with twenty isograms of the compound."

Lessing looked at his Captain, "Aye, Sir. Warp drive ready."

Ransom just about yelled, "Engage." When nothing happened and the ship was still at a standstill, he turned back to Lessing, "What happened?"

When no answer was forthcoming he called engineering, "Marla, what the hell is going on down there?"

The hail came across the line, "The power relays are offline. They've been encoded."

Ransom quickly hurried towards sickbay. He was mad; that half-Borg woman was really trying his patience. He walked into sickbay and approached Jennica' laying on the biobed, "Give us the codes."

Jennica laughed and looked at Ransom, "You order me around, go against everything that as humans we believe in and now you want me to help you? No!"

Burke looked at her, "If she won't give us the codes maybe we could extract them ourselves."

The EMH had become a friend to Jennica Paris, and he went to her 'rescue' right away, "Seven's cranial infrastructure is highly complex. You'll need months just to figure out what she had for breakfast."

"That's why you're going to help us."

"I refuse."

"Do it, or I'll erase your program."

The EMH looked smugly at Burke and at Ransom, "Be my guest."

Ransom and Burke looked at each other. They turned to Gilmore and told her to erase his ethical subroutines.

Jennica lashed out, "You can't do that."

Ransom looked at her, "I just did."

Burke jumped in and spoke to the doctor, "All right, Doctor. Now, get to work. You know what we're looking for."

"Very well. She'll try to resist. I'll have to restrain her."

Jennica looked at the EMH. The 'man' who had become one of her closest friends, "Doctor."

"I deleted his ethical subroutines. He'll be a little more co-operative now. Keep me posted."

Jennica stared at the doctor as he looked to the Captain, "Aye, Captain." Then he turned to Jennica, "This way, please."

[Voyager â€ô Ready Room]

Kathryn sat on the couch in her ready room. She had no idea what had brought her to this point; What had brought the other Captain to this point.

She sighed and brought a hand to her belly. She sighed as she felt the child move. She was almost 13 weeks along now, and her crew was none the wiser.

She called Chakotay to the ready room.

En entered and he looked at her rubbing her belly: seemingly lost in thought. "Chakotay what brought him to this point?"

At Chakotay's shake of his head she continued, "Would I ever get to that point?"

Chakotay wasn't sure what was bringing on this line of questioning. "Kathryn I'm sure nothing would bring you to that point."

"I don't know Chakotay. I can't say that certain thoughts have not crossed my mind to get this crew home sooner â€ô"

"But you never did, and that's the difference."

Kathryn sighed and decided to change the subject, "How have you been coming with that talk for the Ankari?"

He passed her a pad, "I guess we should go to the bridge and test this out then."

Kathryn looked over the pad once more and turned to Chakotay, "It's not exactly Shakespeare, but it gets the point across."

"A small olive branch is still an olive branch."

She turned to Harry and handed the padd. to him, "Run this through to your translation matrix."

Harry finished the translation and stated to the Captain, "Ready to transmit."

"Drop shields, Bridge only." She turned around, "Go ahead, Harry."

The message was transmitted and the whole bridge crew waited with baited breath. The transmission finished and she spun around to Harry, "Raise shields."

"If they understood our message, they haven't responded."

The ship shook and Kathryn drew her phaser. She had to save the ship, she had to save her children.

"There's your response. Activate another deflector pulse. Focus your efforts on repairing the warp drive. We've got to find the Equinox."

Chakotay turned to his wife. "If it's all the same to you I'd like to take another stab at the message. If we can reroute â€ô"

She sighed. She was getting angry, whether it was the pregnancy hormones or Chakotay going against her she wasn't sure. "They're not listening, Chakotay. We should be tracking Ransom, not tinkering with adverbs."

She picked up and headed to the ready room, Chakotay following on her heels. "Want your first officer's advice?"

"My first officer, my husband or the father of my children?"

He stared at her, "I said First Officer, don't do this Kathryn: don't mix them up."

"Well then, allow me. Our deflector's losing power, and when it fails, we'll be defenceless. It's Voyager we should be worrying about, not the Equinox."

Chakotay looked at his wife and made an obnoxious comment, "You'd make a great first officer. It's advice worth taking."

"You have no right to question my orders 'Commander'."

"Kathryn this is beyond orders. What I want to know is, is this really about Ransom, or is this about Jennica."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"This is about Jennica, it has been about Jennica since she came on board this ship. You have to stop â€ô"

"I have to stop what? Caring about my child? You think differently about 'our children'."

"You've been known to hold a grudge. This man betrayed Starfleet, he broke the Prime Directive, dishonoured everything you believe in, and threw Voyager to the wolves."

Janeway stared at her husband. "Borg, Hirogen, Malon. We've run into our share of bad guys. Ransom's no different."

"Is that what this is really all about? Jennica had to live as a Borg and now you're taking it out on Ransom? I don't blame you for being angry, but you can't compromise the safety of this ship to satisfy some personal vendetta."

Kathryn just about spit out the next words, "I'm not taking it out on Ransom, what he did is wrong. And for the last time this has nothing to do with Jennica."

[Equinox Sickbay]

The EMH stared at the former Borg Drone. It was going through his head that at one point they had been friends, but now he saw her as nothing more than Ransom's way home. "The ocular node's connected to the sensory node. The sensory node's connected to the cortical node. The cortical node's connected to the reticular node. Don't look so gloomy. There's a silver lining to all this. Just think, we're finally going to see Earth."

Jennica stared at him, "It's me Jennica. The Captain's daughter: your friend. Let me fix your program, bring you back to the person you were."

"Now why would I want you to do that. You of all people should understand being unfettered by ethical subroutines has made me far more efficient."

Ransom walked into the sickbay with an annoyed look on his face, "Status?"

The EMH looked smugly at Ransom, "I'm going to extract her cortical array. It contains an index of her memory engrams, but once I've removed it her higher brain functions, language, cognitive skills will be severely damaged."

Ransom got close to Jennica's face, "Tell me the codes."

"No. Get out of my face."

"Janeway was right about one thing. You are unique. It would be a shame to lose you."

"Your compassion means nothing to me and it sounds very 'fake'."

"You think this is easy for me? The sight of you on that table, but you're leaving me no choice!"

Jennica stared at Ransom hatred in her eyes, "No choice. You say that frequently. You destroy life-forms to attain your goals, than claim that they left you no choice. Does that logic comfort you?"

"The codes."

"You'll have to destroy me to obtain them."

Jennica had definitely inherited Kathryn Janeway's stubborn streak.

[Ready room]

Kathryn sat and looked over all the different files she had gotten about the Equinox, psyche profiles about Ransom...anything to pull him down.

And as much as she hated to admit it: Chakotay had been right, anything to get her daughter back.

She felt the baby moving and wished he would stop, it was distracting.

She heard the door chime and called for entrance. She knew who it was.

"Come in."

Chakotay walked in looking perturbed, looking annoyed and Kathryn knew she was in for a yelling match. He quietly stated, "You wanted to see me?"

Kathryn looked up into his eyes, "It's not like you to submit recommendations in writing: We live together for God's sake, normally if you have a problem you'll just tell me."

"The last time we spoke you weren't exactly receptive."

Kathryn stared at him, the Captain not his wife, "I'm afraid I'm not going to be very receptive this time, either. It's an interesting idea, but the Ankari are fifty light years in the wrong direction." She paused, gathering her thoughts, "And that's not the way to Jennica either."

Chakotay's eyes lost their stubborn and mad streak, "Kathryn: we'll get her back. I understand that the Ankari are in the wrong direction but they're the ones who introduced Ransom to these life forms. It stands to reason they might be able to communicate with them, tell them to call off their attacks."

"I appreciate the way you think of my daughter but whether we like it or not, our first priority is to find Ransom." She drew in a deep breath and went back to ship's business and no longer worrying about her child. "Still no sign of nucleogenic particles?"

"Not yet."

"We'll forget the Ankari for a moment; we know that Ransom couldn't have gotten far. Without his enhanced drive his ship's only capable of warp six."

She stopped and looked at Chakotay, "I know Chakotay. I know that Jennica can't be our first priority the ship has to come first: I've spent my life realizing that my life never comes first."

She shook her head going back to the notes that she had on Ransom, "I've been studying his service record. He's had his share of run-ins with hostile aliens. It seems that when he's being pursued he tends to hide. At Epsilon four he ran into a Klingon Bird-of-Prey, played a game of cat and mouse for three days in a nebula before the Klingons finally gave up. Two years later, he eluded a Romulan Warbird by taking his vessel into the atmosphere of a gas giant. Go to Astrometrics. Start looking for the kind of place you'd hide if your ship was damaged."

"Yes, ma'am." He paused and walked closer to her before walking out of the ready room. His hand reached up and touched her cheek, "And for the record, your life does matter: and sometimes it has to come first."

[Planet surface]

Chakotay had finally convinced Kathryn that it was him that had to go down to the planet and not her.

Kathryn â€ô at four months pregnant - had decided that she was going to go down to the planet and get the Equinox crew. He had basically had to hold her down to force her to stay on Voyager. He had sent her to their quarters to look after the kids, it had been almost 36 hours since she had seen any of them.

He sighed and watched the Equinox crew having a little bit of friendly banter on a planet that appeared to be empty of humanoid life and safe for the crew.

The crewman he would learn to call Lessing made a comment. "I'm reading a vein of ore. Azimuth one seventeen, thirty metres. It could run pretty deep.

We might need to use phasers to excavate it. Funny, this reminds me of McKinley Park. I used to take my sister there when we were kids. This place looks just like it. As I recall, there was a family of ground squirrels who lived right over there. There was a patch of poison ivy next to it. When I was ten, I walked right through it and I swelled up like a Rigellian bloodworm. When I get back to Earth the first thing I'm going to do is â€ô"

Chakotay ignored the banter and got ready to catch them. He had to get them to Voyager, he wasn't sure what Kathryn was going to do, but she wanted to question him.

Finally he saw his chance. He stunned the crewman and called to Voyager, "Four to beam up."

[Janeway Quarters]

Kathryn stared at her children sleeping peacefully, no idea what was going on. Hannah stirred and Kathryn went to get the child. "Oh baby, what's wrong?" She picked the child up and the soaked diaper dripped all over her uniform. *Oh that's what's wrong.*

She pulled the baby out of the drenched sleeper and changed her diaper. The child opened her eyes, dark hazel so much like her fathers and Kathryn knew what she wanted.

She ordered a bottle from replicator and set the child against the bump of her baby brother.

Hannah gobbled down the bottle and slowly drifted back to sleep. She placed the baby in her crib and heard her combadge go off. "Captain Janeway to the bridge."

She looked over to Celes who was in charge of the Janeway brood tonight while her parents were on duty. "You gonna be okay with them Celes?"

The Ensign nodded and Kathryn thanked her and tapped her combadge, "On my way."

[Bridge]

Kathryn entered the bridge just as Paris spun around and looked at the Captain.

"They've gone to warp."

She stared at Paris and then ran up to the spot just behind his chair, "Match their course and speed."

She heard Harry chime in from behind her, "We can't, not until we restore primary systems."

"Time?"

"We'll need a few hours."

Kathryn looked up to the sky and prayed that everything would be okay, *God forgive me* She thought as she turned to her husband who had just entered the bridge, "At least we didn't come away empty-handed."

[Cargo Bay two]

She approached the spot where Lessing was sitting on a chair in the middle of Cargo Bay Two. "I want Ransom's tactical status. I want it now, Mister Lessing."

He sneered at her, "Or what, you'll hit me?"

"No, crewman; I'll drop the shields around this room and let your little friends come pay you a visit." Kathryn felt herself losing her grip on reality, but at that moment, anger was forcing her to do things that under normal circumstances she wouldn't do.

'That would be murder.'

"You could also call it poetic justice."

Noah turned his head to look at Chakotay who had been watching this whole display silently from the side of the Cargo Bay, "I suppose the plan is that you're going to come to my rescue now, right?"

Chakotay looked at his wife and for the first time since he had boarded Voyager, he wasn't sure what was going to happen, and he couldn't read her next move. "There's no plan as far as I know. The Captain's on her own."

Kathryn slowly approached Lessing and pushed him against the back of the chair, "Ransom's status, now."

"No way in hell."

She pulled away from her prisoner and stated, "We all make our own hell, Mister Lessing. I hope you enjoy yours. The comm. is active. We'll be outside if you have a change of heart."

Kathryn rushed out of the Cargo Bay Chakotay closely behind. "Kathryn what the hell are you doing?"

They reached the hallway and Kathryn turned around on Chakotay. "Weren't you listening? I told you exactly what I was going to do."

"Don't do this!"

Janeway's eyes were full of hatred and full of conviction. "I have to do this for my babies, for you, for Jennica, for the crew: He'll break."

Kathryn heard her combadge go off as she hit the buttons shutting off the shielding to the Cargo Bay. "Bridge to the Captain. We've lost shields in section twenty nine alpha."

She looked at Chakotay, and he knew that she was beyond reason. She was becoming what Ransom had become and what she never wanted to be.

He hoped when she looked at herself in the mirror tomorrow she could accept what she'd become: exactly what she hated. "I know. Stand by."

Chakotay looked at his wife, but she was no longer his wife; she was only the Captain. "He's a loyal officer. He's not going to betray his Captain." He grabbed her hands as she hit the controls once more, "Put up the shields!"

"Let go of me Commander, these are not our quarters, and this is not a private matter. This is between the Captain and the First Officer: He'll break."

Fine she wanted to play it like this, "Captain!"

"As you were."

Chakotay tried to undo the damage that Kathryn had set into motion. He pressed the buttons, he had to make this work. The computer came online, "Level nine authorisation required."

"Damn it, Kathryn!"

She glared at him, "I told you this is not an issue between a married couple, I hold all the cards Commander. You're panicking. He's going to talk."

Tuvok answered from the bridge, giving Kathryn the answer she knew was coming, "Captain, a fissure is opening in that section."

Kathryn stared at Chakotay, she still had the upper hand and she knew it. "Understood." Chakotay looked at Kathryn, the devil had taken her over.

"Stand down Commander."

He got up and approached the door to the Cargo Bay, Kathryn felt like she was losing more than the battle between Captain and First Officer. "I said stand down Commander."

He shook his head and looked at her, "You know I can't do that."

"I'm the Captain."

"And I wouldn't be good to you as a first officer if I didn't stop you when you went too far."

"By my estimations: I haven't gone too far."

The sadness in his eyes almost killed her, "Yes you have." He entered the Cargo Bay and dragged Lessing off the chair.

He pulled the officer out to the hallway and had to show Kathryn what he was doing, he had to get through to her: he needed his wife back.

He threw Lessing against the wall, "Okay, you've demonstrated your loyalty to your Captain. Now you have one chance to make your life on Voyager something decent, and not hell."

Kathryn glared at Chakotay one more time and walked between her first officer and Lessing. Where she was going she wasn't sure yet, but Chakotay had betrayed her.

Kathryn walked until she reached the mess hall and sat down after getting some food from the replicator. They were in a crisis situation and here she was sitting in the mess hall eating Lasagne. She almost laughed at the irony of her enjoying a meal.

She sighed, and as she was almost finished her meal she heard her combadge beeped. "Paris to Janeway."

Kathryn scrunched up her eyebrows in confusion, "Yes Tom, what is it?"

"There's something wrong with B'Elanna. She's asking for you."

Kathryn shook her head and put her plate in the replicator, "On my way."

[Paris Quarters â€ô 15 minutes later]

Kathryn rang the chime, there was no answer. She heard yelling from the other side of the door. "Don't do this B'Elanna."

Kathryn entered her override codes and burst into the Paris Quarters. Little Katie was sitting on the floor crying. "Hello Kathryn, here to see the show?"

Kathryn stared at the scene that was unfolding before her. "You had no right Tom: you stole my memories."

"I tried to save you B'Elanna."

Kathryn picked up the squalling infant on the floor and held her close. "Shhh little one it'll be okay."

"Oh look Tom, isn't she maternal? Well after I'm gone I'm sure that you can raise our daughters with her, isn't that what you've wanted all along?" She laughed sardonically, and spun around to face the Captain, "Come on Kat, admit it: he's a better lay than Chakotay ever was."

Kathryn shook her head, "You know that's not true B'Elanna: you know he only has eyes for you."

B'Elanna stared at her Captain, and raised a razor out of her pocket. "I'll do it Captain, don't tempt me."

Kathryn realized that B'Elanna had her back to Tom and watched as Tom raised a phaser and fired. "It was only on stun Captain, she'll recover."

"Tom what the hell is going on?"

Tom shook his head, "Remember when she was pregnant with Jennica's baby and we performed a memory wipe? It appears it's no longer holding."

"I need my chief engineer."

Tom scoffed, "That's all that ever mattered to you wasn't it? Well this is my wife and I'm standing up to you 'Captain'." With that lasting though he picked up his wife and left for sickbay.

Kathryn sighed and knew she had to take the Paris children to her quarters so that Celes could take care of them.

She grabbed Miral`s hand and out they went: heading towards the Janeway Quarters.

[Janeway Quarters]

Kathryn walked in and saw Celes gently rocking baby Haley. Her two year old looked so peaceful in the sitter's arms. She walked over to the crib where Hannah was peacefully sleeping and placed Katie there too. Kathryn took Haley from Celes arms and placed her in her bed. "Will you be okay with these two as well?"

"Yeah Captain, I think I can handle it. Katie's asleep and Miral looks like she's ready to crash."

"Thanks Celes I really appreciate â€ô" She was cut off by a hail from the bridge. "Captain Janeway to the bridge."

Kathryn nodded and thanked Celes and took off for her bridge.

[Equinox Sickbay]

The EMH stared at Jennica, and began singing. "Oh, my darling, Oh, my darling, Oh, my darling."

He used an iso spanner to press the cortical node above her eyebrow, as she continued. "Clementine."

Ransom rushed into the sickbay and glanced at the scene before him exasperated, "How much longer?"

"Another hour, maybe less." He continued singing, "You are lost and gone forever."

"Dreadful sorry, Clementine."

"What are you doing?"

"Her auditory processor. We used to practice duets together. In fact, I taught her this old chestnut. Light she was and like a fairy."

"And her shoes were Number Nine."

Ransom yelled at the pair: "Enough!"

"Why the long face, Captain. You're about to get your crew home. She tried to stand in your way. You had no choice."

Ransom stared at the doctor for whom he had flipped a switch and played 'Doctor Jekyl and Mr. Hyde'. "No choice. Thank you, Doctor."

The EMH looked at the Captain, "When this is all over, perhaps you'll allow me to teach you my repertoire." He continued singing as if nothing were the matter, and Ransom felt his moral compass changing directions.

[Voyager â€ô Sickbay]

Tom looked over his wife as the doctor scanned her. "Well what have you found out?"

The EMH looked at him, "About what?"

Tom looked at him incredulous, "Why is the memory wipe causing these kinds of problems for her?"

The EMH stammered, "Uh...Oh, she seems to be having a bad reaction to the drugs that were used to induce the coma and the memory wipe."

Tom scrunched up his face in confusion. "Wouldn't you have seen this before now?"

"Um...sometimes it takes a while for these symptoms to manifest themselves."

Tom sighed, "Thanks doc, call me when she wakes up."

The doctor nodded and watched as Tom walked out of sickbay. When the doctor was sure Tom was gone, he went to the Voyager EMH's office and tapped his combadge. "Doctor to Ransom."

"Yes doctor, what is it?"

"The Voyager chief engineer is incapacitated, I think now is the time to make the strike."

"Acknowledged doctor."

Ransom turned to face Maxwell Burke. "I don't think we should do this anymore?"

"What the hell are you talking about Rudy? Change of tactics?"

He looked at his first officer, "You might say that. It's time we found another way home."

"Another way?"

"We're going to co-operate with Janeway, Max, if she's willing. And the only reason that you got that shield emitter from Voyager is her chief engineer is no longer able to work. We're no match for them Max, and if we do this, Janeway won't have any leniency on us."

Max looked at his Captain incredulous, "Rudy, with all due respect, have you lost your mind?"

"Just the opposite."

Marla stared at the conflict that was going on before her. "They're within range. They're charging weapons!"

"Hail them."

The First Officer decided he was going to take command, because he wanted to keep going with the aliens and getting home. "Belay that order. Raise shields."

Rudy looked at Max, "Are you out of your mind? You're relieved of duty, Commander."

Max stood up to his Captain, "I'm taking command. Anyone who isn't with me, speak up now. Take him to the brig."

Marla stared unbelieving at the turn of events, "I'm sorry." And she grabbed her Captain's arm and escorted him off the bridge.

Max looked at 'his crew', "What's the status of our weapons?"

An ensign in blue looked at the commander, "Full complement of torpedoes. Minimal phasers."

Max stared at Thompson, "Open a secure channel to their Sickbay. Stand by weapons."

"Aye sir."

[Voyager]

Kathryn turned around and glanced at Tuvok, wondering what Ransom would do next. Tuvok's command rang out, "They are firing torpedoes."

Harry's frantic answer came: "Direct hit to our port shields. They're holding."

Kathryn glared at Harry. "Return the favour." Kathryn watched the plasma gas vent from the nacelle of the Equinox and Harry told her they were venting plasma. All Kathryn could think was *No kidding.*

Paris gave her the answer she was looking for, they had the Equinox cornered: "They're dropping out of warp."

She stared at the screen seeing red in front of her eyes, "Stay with them." Kathryn watched the forward screen thinking they finally had Ransom cornered, it was just a matter of time before they had them dead in the water.

Vorik's voice came over the comm. line, "They've slowed to one quarter impulse."

*I've finally got him.* Kathryn thought as she watched the Equinox slowly coming closer, or Voyager moving on them. "Prepare a tractor beam."

Kathryn's head spun around at Tuvok's voice. "They are launching another torpedo."

"Full power to the forward shields."

She watched the torpedo coming towards her, and she felt weightless for a moment as she was thrown out of her chair by the blast. She was vaguely aware of Harry speaking about hull breaches in the background as she hit the deck and landed on her stomach.

She rolled over, careful of the child she carried and Tom spun around scared for his Captain and the life of the child she held.

Kathryn saw Tom's face approach her, "Are you okay Captain?"

Kathryn nodded and slowly got up feeling a strained muscle in her back, "Hard about! Get us out of range. Remodulate the shields."

Kathryn put a hand on her belly, vaguely aware that everyone on the bridge now knew her secret. What seemed like forever later Captain Ransom's face appeared on the viewscreen, "Captain, I'm prepared to surrender the Equinox but I'm no longer in command. Max decided to stage a little mutiny but I think I can stop him. I've isolated transporter control. I can beam all of us to Voyager. You might want to have some guards standing by. Not everyone here is going to be happy to see you."

She glared at him, "You expect me to believe you? You endangered alien life forms, put my crew in danger and tried to destroy us and you want me to give your crew a break?"

"They were following my orders, they shouldn't be punished for what I did."

"Their mistake." Kathryn spun around and looked at Harry, "Get a lock on as many of them as you can and transport them to the brig."

Harry bowed his head disappointed in the Captain and the loss of her belief in the goodness of the human spirit. "Captain, are you sure â€ô"

"Do it ensign that's an order. I've already confined Chakotay to quarters and he has a hell of a lot higher in rank and more experience than you. Do it, or I'll have you relieved."

Harry shook his head and did as he was asked. "I have most of the Equinox crew."

Kathryn nodded, "Very good."

Harry spoke out unsure. "The warp core on the Equinox is going to breach Captain."

"Tom, get us out of here as fast as we'll go."

Tom hesitated for a moment before stating, "Yes ma'am."

Tuvok answered, "Captain, we don't have warp power, I'm not sure how fast or how far we can get."

Just as he uttered those words, Kathryn felt a crash as the impact from the Equinox detonation hit her ship. Damage reports started coming in, "Celes to Janeway."

"Janeway here, go ahead ensign."

"The nursery was hit Captain."

Kathryn's jaw dropped open as she thought about her children. "Janeway to sickbay, get someone to the nursery a.s.a.p."

"Captain we have casualties in sickbay, 6 dead 17 injured."

Kathryn felt the burn of tears beneath her eyelids but wouldn't let her emotions get the best of her. "Tom get down to the nursery and make sure the kids are okay."

Tom nodded and swiftly left the bridge.

Janeway turned to the lieutenant that was Tom's replacement. "Lieutenant, take the con."

The lieutenant nodded and rushed up to the front of the bridge.

Kathryn stared at Tuvok, "Tuvok you have the bridge, I need to go to the brig."

Tuvok nodded, and Kathryn knew in her heart that he didn't approve.

Kathryn made her way down to deck 11. She reached the brig and saw the five remaining Equinox crewmembers behind the force fields. She noticed that Chakotay had made his way down there.

She looked at her husband. "Was I out of line? I saw Harry's face, he looked disappointed and I thought that Tom was actually going to disobey my orders."

Chakotay shook his head. "Kathryn you have been so unpredictable recently, I'm not sure that anyone knows what to think of you lately."

She turned to the Equinox crew without saying another word. She stared at the broken crew, "You betrayed this crew. I won't make that mistake again.

Noah Lessing, Marla Gilmore, James Morrow, Brian Sofin, Angelo Tassoni, you are hereby stripped of rank. You'll have to stay down here in the brig, until I deem in fit to let you serve on board my ship."

She finally turned to Chakotay, "Repairs?"

"Coming along. I think you should go down to sickbay and check on our kids, and get yourself checked out. Tom said you took a nasty fall."

"I'm fine Chakotay; how are the kids."

"I'm not sure Kathryn, all of those kids breathed in a lot of toxic air before Tom got to them. I know that Hannah was having trouble breathing."

Kathryn let an air of fear flit across her features before covering it up, but not before Chakotay had seen it. "Kathryn, that's your baby."

"I did what I had to do Chakotay for this ship."

"Even if it cost you the life of your child?"

Kathryn's jaw dropped open. "She's okay right?"

"The doctor has her on life support, she didn't fare well."

Kathryn covered her face with her hands. She stuttered, "I guess I'd better go check her out then."

Kathryn felt the child inside her move and she took in her breath sharply. Chakotay rushed up to her, "Kathryn? Are you okay?"

Kathryn nodded, "Yeah, our child just moved."

Chakotay placed his hand on her belly and said, "Come on, let's go see Hannah and make sure she's okay."

Kathryn and Chakotay made their way towards sickbay but he would not look at her. "Kathryn, you took it too far this time."

She refused to answer and as they made their way into sickbay they heard the beeping signalling the termination of a life. Kathryn stared at the biobed where her baby girl took her last breath.

Kathryn shook her head unbelieving, "Doctor do something please."

The doctor solemnly looked down. "I can't do anything for her Captain, the damage to her lungs was just too severe."

Finally Kathryn let a tear fall down her cheek. "No, you can't let her die."

The sound of Hannah's heart flatlining filled the room as Kathryn turned and rushed out of the sickbay feeling numb.

She had crossed the line and she just hoped that her crew would trust her to cross back over it.

[Paris Quarters â€ô 3 days later: 2200 hours]

B'Elanna had just finished a hoverball game with Chakotay. She walked in on a serene scene. Tom holding baby Katie as she napped, rocking her, loving her.

She walked up to her husband and her youngest child. "Tom."

She picked up the child and carried her to her crib laying her down, and staring at Tom who was just beginning to wake up from the nap he had taken with his daughter.

END PART 11

END JENNICA'S STORY

TBC IN 'Soul's Revisions'


End file.
